Apocalypse, Soon (Claude/Dean PG-13)
Title: Apocalypse, Soon
Rating: PG-13
Fandoms: Supernatural/Heroes
Characters/Pairing: Claude Rains/Dean Winchester
Team: Heroes
Prompt: Heart
Genre: Humor, Slash
Warnings: Sexual situation
Summary: After Dean tells Claude about Castiel, they contemplate the end of the world, Angel: The Series, and dragons, among other things.
“So this bloke just shows up, tells you he’s an angel, and then keeps stalking you until he tells you that the Man Upstairs is auditioning you for the role of Heaven’s Three-Star General?” Claude asked Dean, laughing loudly.
“Dude, it’s not funny.” Dean sat up in the bed and glared at Claude.
“Yes, it is.” Claude only laughed harder.
“Well, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?”
“I dunno. You could start by makin’ some cardboard wings!”
Dean punched Claude in the shoulder. “Claude, stop! This is serious, man!”
“Well, what am I supposed to say, mate? I’ve heard some weird ‘calling all heroes’ stories, but that’s got to be the best.”
“So what else have you heard?”
“Well, there was Peter---“
“The guy who had dreams about being a bomb that was going to blow up New York. You told me about him.”
“Yeah, there was him, and then there was Sheila, the lady who thought her toilet was possessed by evil spirits trying to take over her mind---it turned out she was hearing her neighbors’ thoughts from her bathroom. And my other favorite was Alex, the man who found a doomsday message---“
“In his Alpha-Bits.”
“No, he found it in his peanut butter.”
“How?” Dean was smiling now.
“I think he thought the swirls were representative of how the earth would crack open on Judgment Day.” They were both laughing now. Dean couldn’t help it; Claude’s laugh was contagious.
“What did the swirls look like? I need to remember this in case the sixty-six seals are broken.” Dean leaned over Claude’s body and smirked. Claude raised his eyebrows.
“So what was this angel guy’s name again? Carousel?”
“Castiel.”
“So what’d he tell you about this pending apocalypse?”
“Not much other than that thing about the sixty-six seals and his boss’s decision to test me.”
“So you’re the new favorite toy of the Powers That Be.” Claude reached up and hand his hand through Dean’s hair.
“What?”
“You’re their champion, like Angel.”
“Dude, seriously, you should’ve never watched those re-runs. Now you’re obsessed.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just seeing the parallels between fiction and real life. Your brother’s Wesley, that demon girl is Ilyria, I’m Spike, obviously---“
“In your dreams!” Dean leaned down on top of Claude, their faces just inches apart.
“Well, if we get cornered by hell-spawn, I call the dragon!” Claude rolled over on top of Dean.
“Oh, yeah, like you could take a dragon!”
“A dragon can’t eat somethin’ it can’t see, friend.”
Dean grinned widely and rolled back onto Claude. “But it could squash you on accident.”
Claude rolled his eyes. “Like you could do better.”
“I have a car.”
“Which the dragon would crush in a heartbeat.”
“I could rebuild her, like I did when that semi pummeled her.”
“I think a dragon would do more damage than a semi. Anyway, do they have dragons in hell?”
Dean said nothing, but he gave Claude a long, dark stare.
“Sorry, mate, I---“ Claude began.
Dean rested his chin on Claude’s chest and looked up at him.
“You know what I wanna do before the world ends?”
“What?”
“I wanna see The Dark Knight.” Dean smiled mischievously again.
Claude kissed him softly and held it for a moment.
“Alright, let’s go, but promise me you won’t get any ideas.”
“Aw, man, I really wanted to give Lilith a Glasgow smile.”
Rating: PG-13
Fandoms: Supernatural/Heroes
Characters/Pairing: Claude Rains/Dean Winchester
Team: Heroes
Prompt: Heart
Genre: Humor, Slash
Warnings: Sexual situation
Summary: After Dean tells Claude about Castiel, they contemplate the end of the world, Angel: The Series, and dragons, among other things.
“So this bloke just shows up, tells you he’s an angel, and then keeps stalking you until he tells you that the Man Upstairs is auditioning you for the role of Heaven’s Three-Star General?” Claude asked Dean, laughing loudly.
“Dude, it’s not funny.” Dean sat up in the bed and glared at Claude.
“Yes, it is.” Claude only laughed harder.
“Well, what the hell am I supposed to do about it?”
“I dunno. You could start by makin’ some cardboard wings!”
Dean punched Claude in the shoulder. “Claude, stop! This is serious, man!”
“Well, what am I supposed to say, mate? I’ve heard some weird ‘calling all heroes’ stories, but that’s got to be the best.”
“So what else have you heard?”
“Well, there was Peter---“
“The guy who had dreams about being a bomb that was going to blow up New York. You told me about him.”
“Yeah, there was him, and then there was Sheila, the lady who thought her toilet was possessed by evil spirits trying to take over her mind---it turned out she was hearing her neighbors’ thoughts from her bathroom. And my other favorite was Alex, the man who found a doomsday message---“
“In his Alpha-Bits.”
“No, he found it in his peanut butter.”
“How?” Dean was smiling now.
“I think he thought the swirls were representative of how the earth would crack open on Judgment Day.” They were both laughing now. Dean couldn’t help it; Claude’s laugh was contagious.
“What did the swirls look like? I need to remember this in case the sixty-six seals are broken.” Dean leaned over Claude’s body and smirked. Claude raised his eyebrows.
“So what was this angel guy’s name again? Carousel?”
“Castiel.”
“So what’d he tell you about this pending apocalypse?”
“Not much other than that thing about the sixty-six seals and his boss’s decision to test me.”
“So you’re the new favorite toy of the Powers That Be.” Claude reached up and hand his hand through Dean’s hair.
“What?”
“You’re their champion, like Angel.”
“Dude, seriously, you should’ve never watched those re-runs. Now you’re obsessed.”
“No, I’m not. I’m just seeing the parallels between fiction and real life. Your brother’s Wesley, that demon girl is Ilyria, I’m Spike, obviously---“
“In your dreams!” Dean leaned down on top of Claude, their faces just inches apart.
“Well, if we get cornered by hell-spawn, I call the dragon!” Claude rolled over on top of Dean.
“Oh, yeah, like you could take a dragon!”
“A dragon can’t eat somethin’ it can’t see, friend.”
Dean grinned widely and rolled back onto Claude. “But it could squash you on accident.”
Claude rolled his eyes. “Like you could do better.”
“I have a car.”
“Which the dragon would crush in a heartbeat.”
“I could rebuild her, like I did when that semi pummeled her.”
“I think a dragon would do more damage than a semi. Anyway, do they have dragons in hell?”
Dean said nothing, but he gave Claude a long, dark stare.
“Sorry, mate, I---“ Claude began.
Dean rested his chin on Claude’s chest and looked up at him.
“You know what I wanna do before the world ends?”
“What?”
“I wanna see The Dark Knight.” Dean smiled mischievously again.
Claude kissed him softly and held it for a moment.
“Alright, let’s go, but promise me you won’t get any ideas.”
“Aw, man, I really wanted to give Lilith a Glasgow smile.”