I Am Bound - ficmix! - for eboniorchild

Mar 27, 2010 21:24

Author/Artist: flutterfingers
Recipient: eboniorchild
Rating: R, language & adult themes
Warnings: Season 4 Finale?
Pairing: Meg/Ruby
Summary: Maybe after everything, they could still have something.
Notes: I decided that just making a fanmix wasn't challenge enough - and set myself some RULES. All songs are by female artists (helps with the femslash, yo), and it is all somewhat of a slow, (sexy?) mood. Also, the songs should be listened to in order (for at least the first go round), as it tells the following story from my head.







  



1.       I’m On Fire - Bat For Lashes

Hey little (SAMMY) is (DEAN) home?
Did (DEAN) go and leave you all alone? No
(RUBY)’s got a bad desire
Oh, (RUBY)’s on fire
Tell me now (RUBY) is (SAM) good to you?
Can (SAM) do to you the things that (MEG) can do
Oh, (MEG) can take (RUBY) higher
Oh, (MEG)’s on fire
Sometimes it's like (RUBY) took a knife, baby, edgy and blunt
Put a six inch valley through the middle of (MEG)’s soul

He’s so easy to manipulate there’s almost no pleasure in it; his loss and the alcohol running through his veins make him weak and pliable beneath her hands. Ruby licks a trail along his neck and hears him groan, a hand fisting in her hair tight enough to tip her head back, exposing her throat to his teeth.
When she kisses him he tastes like cheap whiskey and despair, and she can barely keep back the laugh bubbling up in her throat. How far the mighty have fallen: here he is, the great Sam Winchester, gripping a dead girl’s hips tight enough to bruise, his panting breaths in her ear short and choked.
She pretends to enjoy it, too fast, too rough, missionary style on the crappy wooden floor of this hovel. Afterwards she stares up at the ceiling, Sam having rolled off to her side, his ribcage shuddering. She allows herself a small smile.
It’s all going according to plan.

~~~

2.       Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole - Martha Wainwright
Poetry is no place for a heart that's a whore
And (MEG)’s young and (MEG)’s strong
But (MEG) feels old and tired
Overfired
And (MEG)’s been poked and stoked
It's all smoke, there's no more fire
Only desire
For you, (RUBY), whoever you are

Meg won’t look at her, Ruby, the traitorous bitch, the lying whore. She hasn’t just betrayed Meg, she’s in the middle of betraying everything they believe in. It makes Meg sick to her stomach; bile rising in her throat to choke her, a burning like the holiest of waters from Jerusalem at the back of her eyelids.
She had to go and fuck Sam Winchester, of all the six billion mud-crawlers she’d had to choose from.
Ruby won’t explain herself. She shrugs, smiling carelessly, says, easy and sweet, “I’m just bored of you.”
It’s enough to make Meg want to rip out her lungs, her heart; enough to make her dream of taking Ruby’s own knife and carving up her vitals, slicing them to ribbons. She can almost taste it: the desire to hurt so strong it tingles in her essence, searing through her like the deepest fires of the ninth circle.
And still the worst part has to be this: she can’t look at Ruby without that old, stupid feeling.

~~~

3.       Seven Nation Army - Nostalgia 77 & Alice Russell 
 (RUBY) doesn't want to hear about it
Every single (DEMON)’s got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From (LILITH) to the hounds of hell
And if (RUBY) catches (MEG) coming back (RUBY)’s way
(RUBY)’s gonna serve it to (MEG)
And if that ain’t what (MEG) wanted to hear
But that’s what (RUBY)’ll do

Every demon wants to spill the beans to Sam - that maybe Ruby’s not even half as trustworthy as she seems, that truth be told she’s been fucking one of the Winchesters’ long-time demonic acquaintances way-down deep in the pit. For centuries, even.
Ruby doesn’t even want to think about Meg, about the way her mouth had twisted at Ruby’s last words, the tiny spark that was always there for her smothered with fury. The wild light in Meg’s eyes had thrilled Ruby somewhere down low, a familiar quicksilver heat flickering in her belly.
She’s never been happier to employ her knife than now, the vicious delight of watching demon after demon’s black core crack and combust inside their hosts almost satisfies her need for violence. She’s been wanting to break a lot of things lately.
She settles for Sam.

~~~

4.       Girl With One Eye - Florence + The Machine
(MEG) took a knife and cut out (RUBY)’s eye
(MEG) took it home and watched it wither and die
Well, (RUBY)'s lucky that (MEG) didn't slip her a smile
That's why (RUBY) sleeps with one eye open
That's the price (RUBY) paid
(MEG) said, hey, girl with one eye
"Get your filthy fingers out of my pie."
(MEG) said, hey, girl with one eye
“I'll cut your little heart out cause you made me cry.”

Ruby can’t believe this is where she’s been cornered - a dingy little truck stop in Maine, where the pimply attendant had tried to rip her off, and the sky was so blue it hurt the eyes.
How Meg had managed to crawl her way back out again, Ruby didn’t want to know - the bitch was full to the brim of ingenuity. She always found a way. And now here she was, getting in Ruby’s face, the eyes of her new host inked over black with some sort of emotion.
 “Stalking’s a crime,” she says, refusing to turn around or look back, watching her hands under the running tap after she’s seen the reflection of Meg’s true face, hiding under the flesh of a twenty-something blonde.  
Maybe Meg was here to kill her, the Winchesters’ pet demon - maybe she just wanted to rip Ruby a new one, after their last meeting. Or maybe it was this -
Meg saying, “Ruby,” her teeth bared in something of a smile, “shut the fuck up.” and grabbing her shoulders, spinning her around. Ruby barely has time to blink before Meg’s got a hand in her long black hair, slamming Ruby’s head back against the mirror.
The sink digs into Ruby’s back, and she swings a half-assed punch that Meg blocks with a laugh, crowding ever closer through Ruby’s struggles until she can lick her way into Ruby’s mouth. Meg acts like she’s greedy for the burning taste of her, her teeth scraping on Ruby’s bottom lip, desperate, until it comes down to this :-
Ruby, gasping and writhing, trying to get away still, maybe, or trying to get closer, neither demon is sure.
Ruby’s hands twisted tight and white in Meg’s borrowed bangs, making the savage joy in her black eyes evident, hair pulled taut on her skull.
Ruby, pushed up onto the sink, while Meg shoves her way between splayed-wide thighs.
Meg, grabbing Ruby’s frantic wrists and slamming them against the mirror above her head, one hand keeping them there as she slips a hand under Ruby’s skirt, her fingers dipping inside the slippery wet cotton between Ruby’s legs.
Ruby hissing, thrashing against the hand that holds her while Meg grins up, showing too many teeth, looking feral and crazy with her hair tangling around her face and her cheeks blood-red with lust.
Ruby, looking down at her, unable to think anything but beautiful.  
And then, just this :-
Ruby, lunging forward to bite her way inside Meg’s mouth, wanting to taste that violence again, and again, and again, until it’s all she knows.

~~~

5.       Tainted Love - Christina Camacho
Sometimes (MEG) feels she’s got to
Run away, (MEG)’s got to
Get away
From the pain that (RUBY) drives into the heart of (MEG)
The love (MEG & RUBY) share
Seems to go nowhere
And (MEG)’s lost her light

Meg doesn’t know why she bothered to crawl out of hell at all - especially after Maine, where Ruby had left without a word, a strawberry-coloured bruise in the shape of Meg’s mouth high up on her neck.
No. That’s a lie.
Meg does know why she did it. Why she tried. Why she’s trying, has been for decades now.
She just, well.
She really wishes she didn’t.

~~~

6.       Honeythief - Halou
Sometimes (RUBY) doubts the path (RUBY) chose
Sometimes (RUBY)’s dreams feel all on hold
There's no doubt that this will make (RUBY) strong
Because it's the hardest thing (RUBY)’s ever done
Despite this cruel world
And all (RUBY)’s best efforts
(MEG) surprises (RUBY) with just how perfect (MEG) is
Even with all (RUBY)’s flaws
And (RUBY)’s bad examples
(MEG) surprises (RUBY) with
Just how perfect (MEG) is
  Meg keeps coming back and Ruby - Ruby is so sick of it, of seeing her. She makes sure to tell her so, every time. Tells Meg to leave her alone, to fuck off, to go find someone else to infuriate.
And yet.
The sight of Meg’s smile flashing is as white as the burn of magnesium, instant and blinding. It makes Ruby’s blood boil and her heartbeat thunder in her ears. She can remember moments - the delicate skin of Meg’s moon-pale/chocolate/ebony thighs - the way her eyes widen, darken when Ruby skims touches across her, there, there - her gasps when she’s under Ruby’s mouth, the taste of her sharp and coppery, like blood. 
Always she feels stupid afterwards, giving into the impulse - Ruby can’t afford distractions like this, seeing Meg once, twice, three times a week, having to wash the smell of her skin off alone before she runs back to Sam’s side, hickeys on her collarbone.
And yet she can’t help it, can’t help but say (yes, yes, yes) every time Meg comes to her, can’t help but think of Meg’s blonde/black/red head between her thighs when Sam’s down there, licking blood out of a new cut, his hair clenched between her fists.
She hates it, hates it, and still she is surprised at how Meg won’t go.
At how much she thinks of the brainless, persistent bitch.
At how fucking perfect she is.

~~~

7.       Maddening Shroud - Frou Frou
Sometimes (RUBY) likes to get away from this maddening shroud
Sometimes, (RUBY)’ll have you know, it's all insane
Maybe it's time for (RUBY) to pack it in
Maybe it's time for (RUBY) to chuck it in
Maybe it's time for (RUBY) to halt
Oh, (RUBY)’s got a good mind to throw it all away
Throw it all away
Throw it all away
After all, what is it worth?

Ruby thinks about the way Meg used to hold her hand as they sat on one of hell’s endless cliffs; how she’d tell Ruby stories about when she used to be human - a few centuries after Ruby herself had been burned as a witch.
About modelling nude for an Italian painter, the way he’d depicted her as an angel, titian hair falling carelessly across her breasts, the flame of God’s love in her hand. How she’d laughed when she said the words angel and God; “Whatever they are.”
Ruby wonders sometimes what she’s doing. She has doubts. She thinks of Meg, and Lucifer seems far away, like some sort of field dream - something distant and unknown and unattainable, and harder to believe in everyday that she’s on earth, coddling Sam Winchester and missing eyes that mirror her own soul.

~~~

8.       Slow Me Down - Emmy Rossum
Rushing and racing and running in circles
Moving so fast (RUBY)’s forgetting (RUBY)’s purpose
 Blur of the traffic is sending (RUBY) spinning
Getting nowhere
(RUBY)’s head and (RUBY)’s heart are colliding, chaotic
 Pace of the world, (RUBY) just wishes (RUBY) could stop it
Try to appear like (RUBY)’s got it together
(RUBY)’s falling apart 
Ruby thinks about how lost Sam is without her, his fix, his drug of choice, and the look in Dean’s eyes when he looks at his baby brother - how far gone they both are already, coming closer and closer to where they need to be.
Thinks about Lucifer, and the apocalypse, hell on earth and every dream her brethren have ever had coming to fruition.
She thinks about it, and she doesn’t care.
Wanna know why?
Because Ruby knows why Meg keeps coming around. She always knew, really.
It’s just that, now, she knows she’s always felt the same way - and she’s ready to do something about it.
Maybe, after everything, they could still have something.

~~~

9.       Use Somebody - Pixie Lott
(MEG) knows that (RUBY) could use somebody
Someone like (MEG) and all (MEG) knows and how (MEG) speaks

This time Meg doesn’t bother to introduce herself to the Winchesters; when Sam nabs her from the hospital and Ruby stuffs her in the trunk of their car, she laughs softly and smiles in the dark.
Ruby ties her up while Sam’s outside, and licks once into her mouth, with care and precision. She steps back and grins. “You ready for this, baby?”
“Always thought I’d been robbed of a career as a pro actress,” Meg says, stretching against the ropes holding her down, just to see Ruby’s eyes bleed into black. “I won’t be able to think straight, you keep doing that,” she scolds.
Ruby strokes a hand down the centre of her chest, just once, before putting on her game-face and turning around; Meg closes her eyes as she hears Sam coming.
Show time.

~~~

10.       Bound - Suzanne Vega
The way of the world
Has taken it's toll
Ravaged (RUBY)’s body
Bitten (RUBY)’s soul
And (RUBY) asks
(RUBY) is asking you, (MEG)
Asking (MEG) if she
Might still want (RUBY)? 
What they have could never exactly be called perfect - there's alot to be forgiven, and they are demons after all.
What they do have, though, is exactly what they want.

~~~

Aaaaaaannnd an uber special bonus song!

(BONUS!): Gently - Alcoholic Faith Mission
Just ‘cause (RUBY)’s a whore
 (MEG) knows it doesn’t mean (RUBY) don’t feel it

.zip

character: meg, # fanmix, pairing: meg/ruby, rating: r, character: ruby, # fanfiction

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