Deanisms...

[mrscastielftw]

“The Third Man”
06x03





**Remember every time you comment Dean will say a little prayer for you**

INT. POLICE LOCKER ROOM

JERRY: Oh, come on. [He rubs his right cheek and a patch of skin peels off and lands in the sink] What the hell?
ED: Come on, man. Let's get going.
[Jerry walks backward from the mirror, breathing rapidly and leaving bloody footprints. Blood seeps through the back of his t-shirt.]
ED: Jerry?
JERRY: [ Bleeding from the mouth. ] Ed, I think I'm bleeding. [He falls forward. Blood splatters.] {Yucky, look at the splatter. I think he may have been a vampire from True Blood}

ACT ONE
INT. LISA'S HOUSE - DAY

[Dean and Lisa are sleeping]
LISA: Hey, you.
DEAN: Hey.
[A horn blares and Dean finally wakes up from his dream. He is alone in the Impala, parked just off a busy highway.]

INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY

[Sam is doing chin-ups on a pipe suspended from the ceiling of the room, when a lady emerges from the bathroom.]
LADY: Don't stop on my account.
SAM: I'm done.
LADY: Last night was a...high point, if you don't mind me saying.
SAM: Good.
LADY: All right. Well, I see you need to start your day. When did you say you were heading out? Didn't. Right. Damn, you know how to play that mystery card. [Sam holds up some cash, because he did indeed pay for it.] Right. I almost forgot. Next time... [ gives SAM a note ] you can call me on my night off. If you want.
SAM: Okay.
LADY: Okay.
[After she leaves, Sam scrunches up the note and tosses it into a wastepaper basket. He picks up his phone.]
SAM: Hey.

EXT. BURGER HEAVEN - DAY

DEAN: Hey. I'm about eight hours out of the Campbell Base.
SAM: Uh, change of plans. I need you to meet me. I'm in PA. Town called Easter.
DEAN: What are you doing in Pennsylvania?
SAM: Caught a case.
DEAN: A case? When? It's been like a day and a half.
SAM: I like to work. {Me gusta la playa.}
DEAN: Apparently.
SAM: Glad we hashed that out. Call me when you roll into town.
[Sam hangs up and Dean stares at his phone.]
DEAN: Who died and made you boss?

EXT. HIGHWAY - DAY

[A cop is parked on the side of a road. A car speeds by, clocking 70 mph.]
COP: Nah, you could do better than that. [He settles back to pour some booze into a giant-sized plastic convenience store cup. His phone rings.] Why are you calling me? He's dead, right? That's it. Now, I don't want to talk about it. We do what we do -- we go to work, we go to the funeral. Calm down. This is nothing to do with you and me. You're just working yourself up. Don't call me. [Hangs up.] Idiot.
[Boils break out on the cop's face and hands.]
COP: God! God! Dispatch, this is -- Please, I -- I need... Please. [He chokes and dies]

EXT. STREET - DAY

[Sam is in a suit, is leaning against his car and reading some reports, when Dean drives up in the Impala and exits it in the midst of a phone conversation. He is also in a suit. Pretty!]
DEAN: Ben, I know you're lying. Because I lie professionally, that's how. Now tell your mom that you broke the damn thing and take it like a man. Okay? Ok-- okay. [Hangs up.]
SAM: Wow.
DEAN: What?
SAM: You…molding the minds of tomorrow. Who knew?
DEAN: Yeah, tell me about it.
SAM: How'd it go?
DEAN: With?
SAM: You and Lisa. How'd she take it when you bailed?
DEAN: Shockingly cool, actually.
SAM: Better for everybody.
DEAN: Yeah, I suppose. Still driving the plastic piece of crap, huh?
SAM: What's your mileage, again?
DEAN: Shut up.

INT. POLICE STATION - DAY

SAM: Officer Gerald Hatch, 17-year veteran, found dead in the ready room three days ago.
DEAN: Whoa! Somebody was over-hydrated.
SAM:  Basically, yeah. The guy just... liquefied. Most of the meat, bones, dense tissues -- they just turned to blood.
DEAN: Okay, I don't get it.
SAM: Nobody gets it.
DEAN: No. I mean, I get that. I'm saying, if the guy was a mop job, then what are we doing in the morgue? What's left of him to look at?
SAM: Not here to look at him. Here. [Sam opens a drawer, revealing the boils-covered cop.]
DEAN: Ooh. Bad news.
SAM: Officer Toby Gray. They brought him in found him dead in his patrol car, sitting at a speed trap on the outside of town.
DEAN: "Extreme allergic reaction."
SAM: Yeah. Boils. Covered from head to toe.
DEAN: Yeah, on the inside, too. It says his airways are chock full of them. This startin' to look a little witchy to you?
SAM: That was my first instinct, but I found zero signs of hexwork anywhere. Far as I can tell, witchcraft was not involved.
DEAN: There's got to be some sort of link between, uh, skid mark and bubble wrap here.
SAM: No question.
DEAN: All right, well, can I get a witness?
SAM: Yep. Uh... [reads from notes] Officer Ed Colfax. Saw Hatch go from a solid to a liquid.
DEAN: Another cop?
SAM: Hatch's partner.

EXT. STREET - DAY

[Sam's car swings around a corner. Dean's car pulls out in front of him and is first to park]
SAM: Were you, uh... were you racing me?
DEAN: No. I was kicking your ass.
SAM: Very mature.
[They knock on the door.]
DEAN: Hello? Officer Colfax?
[The door opens to reveal ED in full dress uniform.]
DEAN: Whoa. Lookin' sharp, Kojak.
ED: Who the hell are you?
SAM: We're the Fed, Ed. We're here to ask you a few follow-up questions about your partner's death.
ED: Don't worry about it. It's nobody's business.
SAM: Officer Colfax --
ED: Don't worry about it!
[Ed slams the door shut and Sam kicks it in.]
DEAN: Dude!
[Walking into the house, Sam and Dean pass a wall of family photos with the faces scratched out. They find Ed in his office, using a knife to scratch out the face of his police portrait.]
SAM: Officer Colfax?
DEAN: Hey, man, you all right?
ED: Don't worry about it.
DEAN: Right. Look, Officer Colfax -- Ed. We think that your partner died of unnatural causes.
[Ed scratches his hat.]
DEAN: Did he have any enemies that you know of?
ED: You might say that.
SAM: Oh, yeah? Who's that?
ED: They both had it coming. Me too. I'll be the next to go, and then it'll be over. And God will be satisfied.
DEAN: Why does God want you all dead?
ED: 'Cause of Christopher Birch. [Ed knocks over a bottle of booze. He watches it spill for some time.] Oh, damn it.
SAM: Who's Christopher Birch?
ED: He has no face.
SAM: Ed?
DEAN: Officer, you all right?
SAM: Who is Christopher Birch, Ed?
DEAN: Ed!
ED: Christopher Birch is a kid with no face... and a planted gun. [Blood runs down Ed’s face.]
DEAN: Uh, you, uh... you got a little something...
[Blood is dribbling from under Ed's hat.]
DEAN: ...yeah.
ED: Damn. My head's been itching like a dirty jock.
[Ed falls forward. His face lands on the broken glass of the picture frame.]
SAM: Ed? [Sam walks behind the desk and checks Ed's neck for a pulse.] Dead.
[ Buzzing sound. ]
DEAN: You hear that?
[Sam removes Ed's hat and locusts crawl out of a hole in Ed's head.]

INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY

[Dean is seated at a table, looking through papers. Sam is at the other end, working on his laptop.]
DEAN: Sweet. Blood, boils, locusts.
SAM: Three of your more popular Egyptian plagues.
[Dean picks up a jar containing the locusts.]
DEAN: Yeah, but these guys... ate their way out of a cop's melon. I don't quite remember that in the King James.
SAM: Meanwhile, a kid named Christopher Birch was shot in the head last month after a vehicle pursuit. Hatch, Gray, and Colfax were the three officers involved, and they all filed the exact same police report.
DEAN: [Reading a report.] "Suspect exited vehicle brandishing a firearm. We were forced to fire." "Just a kid with no face and a planted gun." Bunch of dicks. So they pop the kid, plant the piece.
SAM: Maybe Colfax is right. You know, maybe Heaven has a hate-on for bad cops.
DEAN: So we're listening to the guy with the bug in his custard? That's -- that's the, uh, the theory you want to go with?
SAM: Dean, angels got to have something to do, right, now that we're post-apocalypse?
DEAN: Maybe. We should call Cas.
SAM: You're kidding, right? Dean, I tried. It was the first and second and third thing I did, soon as I got topside. Son of a bitch won't answer the phone.
DEAN: Well, let's give it a shot. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.
SAM: You're an idiot.
DEAN: Stay positive.
SAM: Oh, I am positive.
DEAN: Come on, Cas! Don't be a dick. We got ourselves a... plague-like situation down here, and... do you...do you copy?
SAM: Like I said... son of a bitch doesn't answer… He's right behind me, isn't he?
CASTIEL: Hello.

ACT TWO

INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY

SAM: Hello?
CASTIEL: Y-yes.
SAM: [Imitating Castiel] "Hello." [Normal voice] "Hello"?
CASTIEL: Uh, that is still the term?
SAM: I spent all that time trying to get through to you. Dean calls once, and now it's [Imitating Castiel] "Hello"?!
CASTIEL: Yes.
SAM: So, what, you -- you like him better or something? {Sam try not to be so jealous of your brother’s relationship with his boyfriend. Just sit back and enjoy the schmoop!}
CASTIEL: Dean and I do share a more profound bond. [To Dean] I wasn't gonna mention it. {I was!}
DEAN: Cas, I think what he's trying to say is that... he went to Hell for us. I mean, he really took one for the team. You remember that? And then he comes back without a clue, and you can't take five friggin' minutes to give him some answers?
CASTIEL: If I had any answers, I might have responded. But I don't know, Sam. We have no idea who brought you back from the cage... or why.
SAM: So... it wasn't God?
CASTIEL: No one's even seen God. The whole thing remains mysterious.
SAM: What the hell does that mean?
CASTIEL: What part of "I don't know" escapes your understanding? {He’s so pretty when he’s angry!}
DEAN: Cas, look, if Sam calls, you answer. Okay? You wing your ass down here, and you tell him, "I don't know." Just because we have some sort of a -- a bond or whatever...{Awww Dean wants to make sure that Cas is nice to his brother! <3}
CASTIEL: You think I came because you called? I came because of this. [Cas walks over to Dean’s research.] {Dean, you know Cas doesn’t want your relationship to interfere with work.}
DEAN: Oh, well, it's nice to know what matters.
CASTIEL: It does help one to focus.
SAM: Wait, so -- so you and the Halo Patrol, you guys aren't the cause of these killings?
CASTIEL: No. But they were committed with one of our weapons. There's only one thing that could have brought this into existence. You call it the Staff of Moses.
SAM: The Staff?
CASTIEL: [Picks up the jar of locusts.] It was used in a dominance display against the Egyptians, as I recall.
DEAN: Yeah. That one made the papers
SAM: B-but I thought the Staff turned, like, a -- a river into blood, not one dude.
CASTIEL: The weapon isn't being used at full capacity. I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect.
DEAN: Okay, but... what is -- what is Chuck Heston's disco stick doing down here, anyway? I mean, don't you guys put away your toys?
CASTIEL: Before the apocalypse, Heaven may have been corrupt, but it was stable. The staff was safely contained. It's been chaos up there since the war ended. In that confusion, a number of... powerful weapons were... stolen.
DEAN: Wait, you -- you're saying your nukes are loose?
CASTIEL: Yeah, I'm afraid so. But you've stumbled onto one of them. We must find the weapon that did this. I need your help.
SAM: That's rich. Really.
CASTIEL: [Cas tosses the jar of locusts at Sam, he then uses air quotes like a BAMF] Sam, Dean, my "people skills" are "rusty." Pardon me, but I have spent the last "year" as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. But believe me, you do not want that weapon down here. Help me find it. Or more people will die.
DEAN: All right. Okay. Well, if the angels didn't pull the trigger, then that brings us back to motive.
CASTIEL: What?
SAM: Back to the case. Right now, we got three dead cops. Only thing linking them... is this. [Dean hands Sam a newspaper clipping.] "Father of slain suspect calls for investigation."

INT. BIRCH FAMILY LIVING ROOM - DAY

[Newspaper clippings are strewn on the coffee table. The camera pulls back to reveal Darryl Birch intently reading a tabloid with a front cover story entitled, "Police Officer Dies At Precinct."]
AARON: Come on, dad. How many times are you gonna read that thing? You know what? We should just throw it away.
DARRYL: Go out back and play.
[Aaron leaves, Darryl begins to cut the story out of the paper. Sam, Dean and Castiel suddenly appear in the living room.]
DEAN: Oh, Cas, a little warning next time.
DARRYL: What the... how'd you get in here?!
SAM: Mr. Birch, settle down. [Shows FBI badge.] Federal agents.
DARRYL: But you can't just walk in here!
SAM: [Indicating the clippings.] Quite a collection you've got there, huh?
DARRYL: What are you trying to --
SAM: Look, we know the truth, all right? Chris didn't have a gun on him when those cops shot him. They set him up.
DARRYL: Yeah. They're all getting theirs.
SAM: And who's giving it to them, Darryl?
DEAN: Darryl? Did you kill Toby Gray and the others?
DARRYL: Me?! I didn't kill anyone! Look at how they died!
CASTIEL: You smote them with the Staff of Moses!
DARRYL: The hell kind of Fed are you?
CASTIEL: We don't have time for this. Where is it?
AARON: [Brandishing part of the Staff.] Leave my dad alone!
CASTIEL: Is that...? Yes.
SAM: Shouldn't it be bigger?
CASTIEL: Yes. It's -- it's been sawed off.
AARON: Leave him alone! It wasn't him!
DARRYL: Aaron, get out of here!
[Castiel presses two fingers to Darryl's forehead; Darryl falls back onto the sofa, unconscious.]
AARON: What did you do to him?
DEAN: It's all right. He's just sleeping.
[Aaron points the staff at Dean and Castiel teleports next to Aaron, takes away the staff.]
DEAN: Cas, take it easy! [To AARON.] Listen, we're not here to hurt you, okay? But we need to know... where did you get this thing?
AARON: Please don't kill my dad. It was me. I did it.
DEAN: Okay, nobody's killing anybody. What's your name?
AARON: Aaron. Aaron Birch.
DEAN: Okay, Aaron Birch, where did you get this?
AARON: You won't believe me.
DEAN: Try me.
AARON: It was an angel.
DEAN: An angel?
AARON: Those liars, they killed my brother, and nothing bad even happened to them. It's not fair. So I prayed to God every night he would punish them. God didn't answer. But he did.
CASTIEL: His name -- did he give you a name?
AARON: No. He just said I could have justice, but I was gonna have to take it myself. He... he gave me the stick.
DEAN: He just... gave it to you? Ah, come on. He didn't just give it to you, did he, Aaron?
AARON: I bought it.
SAM: You bought it? With what? What's your allowance?
DEAN: What did the Angel want for it? What did you give him for it?
AARON: My soul.
SAM: You sold your soul to an Angel?
DEAN: [To Castiel] Can that even happen?
CASTIEL: It's never happened before. An Angel's buying souls. That could explain why he cut the staff into pieces.
SAM: Why?
CASTIEL: More pieces, more product.
DEAN: More product? Who is this guy?
CASTIEL: We'll find him.
[Castiel presses his fingers to Aaron's forehead and he falls unconscious.]
DEAN: What did you do that for?
CASTIEL: Portability.
[Camera pulls back to reveal Castiel, carrying Aaron over his shoulder, back in Sam's hotel room. Castiel places a still-unconscious Aaron on the bed.]
DEAN: Cas, you realize you just kidnapped a kid?
CASTIEL: If the angel we seek truly bought this boy's soul, when a claim is laid on a living soul, it leaves a mark, a brand.
SAM: What, like a…like a shirt tag at camp?
CASTIEL: I have no idea. But I can read the mark and find the name of the angel that bought the soul.
DEAN: How?
CASTIEL: Well, painfully for him. The reading will be excruciating.
DEAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
CASTIEL: Dean.
DEAN: He's a kid, Cas. A ki-- Sam?
SAM: [To Castiel] Any permanent damage?
DEAN: What?!
CASTIEL: Physically, minimal.
DEAN: Oh, well, yeah, then by all means, stick your arm right in there.
CASTIEL: Dean! If I get the name, I can work a ritual to track the angel down.
DEAN: And I'm all for that. But come on. There's got to be another way.
CASTIEL: There is no other way.
DEAN: You're gonna torture a kid?
CASTIEL: I can't care about that, Dean! I don't have the luxury.
[Castiel pushes his hand into Aaron's chest. Aaron screams. Dean advances. Sam holds him back. They watch as Aaron screams and his body lights up from the inside. He stops screaming and falls unconscious when Castiel withdraws his hand.]
CASTIEL: He'll rest now.
SAM: Did you get a name? What is it?
CASTIEL: I thought he died in the war.
SAM: What, he…he was a…he was a friend or something?
CASTIEL: A good friend.
DEAN: Yeah, well, your frat buddy is now moonlighting as a crossroads demon.
CASTIEL: Balthazar. I wonder...
SAM: So we can find him now, right?
[Random angel # 5 appears.]
RANDOM ANGEL #5: Balthazar. Thanks, Castiel. We'll make good use of the name.
[Random angel # 5 attacks Castiel with an angel-killing sword. Castiel blocks it with his own LIKE A BOSS.]
RANDOM ANGEL #5: And by the way, Raphael says hello.
[Random angel # 5 and Castiel fight in the room until they both lose their swords. They grapple each other and jump through the window, falling several stories onto Sam’s car parked on the street. Sam and Dean look out the window. Random angel # 5 disappears, leaving Castiel standing next to Sam’s car.]
SAM: My car. {hezio2 has the best story about this!}
DEAN: Okay. Silver lining.

ACT THREE

EXT. STREET - DAY

CASTIEL: [Appears behind Sam and Dean.] He's gone.
SAM: Alright Cas, who was that guy?
CASTIEL: A soldier of Raphael. He must have followed me when I answered your call.
SAM: Raphael? The archangel? I'm sorry, what's going on here?
CASTIEL: I can explain later. Right now we have to…
DEAN: No, not later. Now. Stop, all right? Too many angels, Cas! I don't know who's on first, what's on second.
CASTIEL: What is "second"?! {Refuses to make a dirty joke!}
DEAN: Don't start that.
CASTIEL: It is simple: Raphael and his followers, they want him to rule Heaven. I, and many others, the last thing we want is to let him take over. It would be catastrophic.
SAM: You're talking civil war.
CASTIEL: Technically, yes. Which is why we have to find Balthazar and his weapons before Raphael does. Whoever has the weapons wins the war.
[Castiel pulls Sam's weapons bag from under his bed.]
SAM: Help yourself.
DEAN: And what happens if Raphael wins? What…what does he want?
CASTIEL: [Gets a flask of Holy water from Sam's bag.] What he's always wanted -- to end the story the way it was written.
DEAN: You mean the Apocalypse, the one that we derailed?
CASTIEL: Yes. That one. Raphael wants to put it back on the rails.
DEAN: Why?
CASTIEL: I need myrrh.
SAM: Myrrh?
[Castiel disappears.]
DEAN: Freakin' angels.
[Castiel reappears behind Dean. He is drawing on the kitchen table with chalk.]
DEAN: Why does Raphael want to bring back all this crap?
CASTIEL: He's a traditionalist.
DEAN: Cas, why didn't you tell us this?
CASTIEL: I was ashamed. I expected more from my brothers. I'm sorry. I need your blood.
[Castiel grabs Dean's wrist and slices his palm.]
DEAN: Whoa, whoa! Hey! Ahh! Why don't you use your own?
CASTIEL: It wouldn't work. I'm not human.
[Dean squeezes his hand shut. Blood drips into the bowl. Castiel adds myrrh and Holy water and intones. Sirens are audible in the background.]
SAM: Uh, Cas, how long does this spell take?
CASTIEL: Got him. Let's go.
DEAN: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about him?
[Aaron is still lying on the bed, unconscious.]
CASTIEL: Don't you think the police will take him home?

EXT. MANSION - NIGHT

DEAN: Huh. I was expecting more Dr. No, less Liberace.

INT. MANSION

[Castiel is in an opulent foyer. A frog perched on the balustrade of a grand staircase is croaking. He teleports upstairs, follows loud music into a room with a piano and strobe lights. The door closes. Cas readies his angel-killing sword.]
BALTHAZAR: Cas. You're here. {Awkward conversation between exes}
CASTIEL: Balthazar.
BALTHAZAR: It's so good to see you. He told me you were floating around.
CASTIEL: He?
BALTHAZAR: I believe you two have flown together. [He turns on the lights and the music stops.] Oh, you know, the old frog in the throat.
[The body of the Random Angel #5, who attacked Castiel earlier is on the floor. A frog jumps out of his mouth and croaks.]
CASTIEL: Even I know that that's a bad joke. I grieved your death.
BALTHAZAR: Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry about that, you know. I wanted them to think, you know, so... they wouldn't come looking for me?
CASTIEL: What... is all this? What are you doing?
BALTHAZAR: Whatever I want. This morning I had a ménage à…what's French for 12?
CASTIEL: You stole the Staff of Moses?
BALTHAZAR: Sure, sure. I stole a lot of things.
CASTIEL: You were a great and honorable soldier. We fought together.
BALTHAZAR: Yes, too many times to count.
CASTIEL: I know you. You're not some common thief.
BALTHAZAR: Common? No. Thief? Eh.
CASTIEL: I need your help.
BALTHAZAR: I know. I've been hearing all about you, and as far as I'm concerned, you and me, Cas, nothing's changed. We're brothers. Of course I want to help you.
CASTIEL: Thank you. I need the weapons.
BALTHAZAR: Don't ask that.
CASTIEL: Why take them? Why run away?
BALTHAZAR: Because I could! What? What? I…me…ou're the one who made it possible. The footsteps I'm following -- they're yours. What you did, stopping the big plan, the prize fight? You did more than rebel. You tore up the whole script and burned the pages for all of us. It's a new era. No rules, no destiny. Just utter and complete freedom.
CASTIEL: And this is what you do with it?
BALTHAZAR: Hey, screw it, right? I mean, Dad's not coming back. You might as well blow coke and jump on the bed. You proved to me we could do anything, so I'm trying everything. What difference does it make?
CASTIEL: Of course it makes a diff-- it's civil war up there!
BALTHAZAR: I know.
CASTIEL: If we can beat Raphael, we can end this! Just give me the weapons.
BALTHAZAR: Do you know what's funny about you? You actually believe that you can stop the fighting. It will never stop. My advice, grab something valuable and fake your own death.
CASTIEL: You've gone insane. Your little holiday is over. Raphael knows you're alive by now.
BALTHAZAR: Oh, Raphael can try me anytime. I'm armed. I'm sorry, Cas. All else aside, I'm really, really happy to see you. Even though you still have that stick up your ass. [Thunder crashes.] Was that you? [Castiel shakes his head.] Oh, that's my cue then. Tell, uh, Raphael to bite me. [Disappears.]

ACT FOUR

EXT. MANSION - NIGHT

RAPHAEL: Watch them. They're all snakes.

EXT. MANSION - NIGHT

[An random angel #12 armed with an angel-killing sword is patrolling the grounds.]
SAM: Hey, there. [Produces an angel-killing sword.] Yeah, I got one of those, too.
RANDOM ANGEL #9: [Appears behind SAM, holding the knife to his throat.] You think you can knife-fight an Angel?
DEAN: Who's fighting? Peace out, douchewad. [He slaps an angel-banishing sigil painted on the side of the house.]
INT. BALTHAZAR'S MANSION
CASTIEL: [To random angel #24] You're making a mistake. Please. There is another way. Brother, please. I don't want to hurt you.
[The random angel #24 advances on Castiel and Cas throws his knife into the angel's chest.]
CASTIEL: Why won't any of you listen?
[Castiel is grabbed from behind.]
RAPHAEL: They don't listen, Castiel, because their hearts are mine.
[They fight and Cas gets whumped]
RAPHAEL: [Raising an angel-killing sword.] Somehow, I don't think God will be bringing you back this time.
BALTHAZAR: Hey! Look at my junk. [Holds up a glowing crystal.]
RAPHAEL: No. [Raphael turns to salt from head to toe. The salt clatters to the floor.]
BALTHAZAR: Same thing happened to Lot's wife. Iodize the poor sucker and your kitchen is stocked for life.
CASTIEL: You came back.
BALTHAZAR: Well, now Raphael will have to go shopping for a new vessel. Should give me a nice long head start on him. Until next time.
CASTIEL: Next time.
DEAN: No time like the present. [Flicks a lighter and drops it on a circle of Holy oil that surrounds Balthazar.] {Awkward conversation between Castiel’s ex and his current boyfriend}
BALTHAZAR: Holy fire. You hairless ape! Release me!
DEAN: First you're taking your marker off of Aaron Birch's soul!
BALTHAZAR: Am I?!
DEAN: Sam?!
SAM: Unless you like your wings extra crispy [He uncorks a bottle of Holy oil] I'd think about it.
BALTHAZAR: Castiel, I stood for you in Heaven. Are you gonna let --
CASTIEL: I believe... the hairless ape has the floor. {Balthazar, you just have to accept that Dean and Cas are completely and utterly in love}
BALTHAZAR: Very well. The boy's debt is cleared. His soul is his own.
DEAN: Why you buying up human souls, anyway?
BALTHAZAR: In this economy? It's probably the only thing worth buying. Do you have any idea what souls are worth? What power they hold? Now... release me.
DEAN: Suck it, ass clown. Nobody said anything…
[Castiel uses the epic powers of hand!pron to douse the flames.]
DEAN: Cas, what the hell?
CASTIEL: [To Balthazar] My debt to you is cleared.
BALTHAZAR: Fair enough. [He disappears.]
DEAN: Cas, are you out of your mind?!
[Castiel disappears.]
DEAN: Cas?! Oh, friggin' angels! Come on!

ACT FIVE

EXT. ROADSIDE - DAY

[Dean is rearranging weapons in the trunk of the Impala.]
DEAN: Yeah, well I didn't realize I had this much stuff back here.
SAM: Well, I need some space. Kind of picked up some stuff along the way.
[Dean closes the false bottom on the weapons cache. Sam places his duffle bag on top. He notices a mask there and pulls it out.]
SAM: What the hell is that?
DEAN: Oh, it's, uh, Ben's Halloween costume.
SAM: Wendigo?
DEAN: Yeah.
SAM: Accurate.
DEAN: Hey, so, uh... are you okay?
SAM: Me? Yeah, I'm great.
DEAN: Really? 'Cause there's been a few times that you got me wondering.
SAM: Come again?
DEAN: Well, like where were you when Cas was, uh, giving the Holy taser treatment to that kid?
SAM: I was right there.
DEAN: Really? 'Cause honestly, I felt like I was the only one raising a card.
SAM: Right. Uh, I mean, I was with you, but...I don't know. W-we needed the intel.
DEAN: Yeah, I know, but we tortured that kid to get it. I just didn't get the feeling that you…that you even cared.
SAM: Y- you're wrong.
DEAN: Hey man, I'm just trying to figure this out because... something's different with you. You know that.
SAM: Yeah. Yeah, I know.
DEAN: Really?
SAM: Yeah. I mean... I've been hunting non-stop for the past year, kind of... kind of on the wild, you know? So, yeah, I suppose I'm a little rough around the edges.
DEAN: Yeah, I get that. I just don't think I'm getting the whole scoop. You went to hell, Sam. And believe me, I know what that does to a guy.
SAM: To you.
DEAN: What?
SAM: You know what it does to you. It-it tortured you. You know? I think it still does. But, Dean... I'm okay.
DEAN: So you're saying, what, that-that you're stronger than me?
SAM: No. Just saying we're different.

**Bonus Trivia**

The episode gets its title from the 1949 Orson Welles film noir The Third Man.
*~*~*

In relation to the episode, the "Third Man" may be a reference to Castiel. It can also be related to Raphael, the third most powerful Archangel (after Michael and Lucifer and above Gabriel), and Ed Colfax as the third police officer to be killed.
*~*~*

In his dream about making love to Lisa, Dean didn't appear to still have Castiel's handprint on his shoulder (as first seen in 04x01 Lazarus Rising).
*~*~*

When Sam and Dean enter the morgue, the doctor in the white coat at the desk appears to be the director of this episode, Bob Singer.
*~*~*

Castiel finds Sam and Dean despite the Enochian Sigils that Castiel burned into their ribs to stop angels from locating them in 05x01 Sympathy For The Devil. This may or may not be because they contacted him.
*~*~*

DEAN: Whoa, looking sharp, Kojak.
Kojak was a 1970s series (unsuccessfully revived in 2005) about bald and dapper New York City Police Department Detective Lieutenant Theo Kojak played by Telly Savalas. Kojak's Greek heritage, shared by actor Savalas, was prominently featured in the series.
*~*~*

DEAN: I don't quite remember that in the King James.
The King James is an English translation of the Christian Holy Bible begun in 1604 and completed in 1611 by the Church of England.
*~*~*

DEAN: What is Chuck Heston's disco stick doing down here anyways?
Charlton Heston, or Chuck Heston, played Moses in the 1956 film The Ten Commandments.
The phrase 'disco stick' originally referred to the glow sticks used in nightclubs. More recently it has been used as slang, as in Lady Gaga's song "LoveGame."
*~*~*

Castiel uses an Enochian ritual with myrrh, holy water, and human (Dean's) blood to locate Balthazar.
Castiel's use of myrrh may refer to the fact that Balthazar is often given as the name of one of the Three Wise Men, whose gifts were gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
*~*~*

DEAN: There's too many angels, Cas! I don't know who's on first, what's on second.
In the 1930s and 1940s, Abbott and Costello had a comedy routine in which the members of a baseball team have peculiar names: Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third, and so forth.
*~*~*

DEAN: I was expecting more Dr. No, less Liberace.
Dr. Julius No is the villain in the James Bond novel and film Dr. No. Liberace was a famous American entertainer and pianist from West Allis, Wisconsin.
*~*~*

BALTHAZAR: Same thing happened to Lot's wife. Iodize the poor sucker, and your kitchen is stocked for life.
Lot was forewarned by angels of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. As he and his family left Sodom, his wife looked back despite the angels telling them not to, and she was turned into a pillar of salt.
*~*~*

SAM: Like I said, son of a bitch doesn't answer... he's right behind me, isn't he?
Dean says a variation of the same "there's somebody behind me" line in 05x19 Hammer Of The Gods.
*~*~*

DEAN: You're saying your nukes are loose?
The phrase "loose nukes" originally referred to poorly secured nuclear materials in the former Soviet Union which might be tempting targets for thieves or terrorists. Today, the phrase more broadly is used to refer to nuclear weapons, materials, and know-how that could fall into the wrong hands.
*~*~*

Aaron, the name of the boy who had the piece of Moses' staff, is also the name of Moses' brother.
*~*~*

**Bonus Episode Caps**
All Caps From Home Of The Nutty


































<3