It's a Tough Gig - 9 Days of Season 9
Had to do something for this challenge, even if I'm supposed to be working on two other projects :)
Title: It's a Tough Gig
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~500
Summary: Humor. Slight crossover with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Demon Hunting, it's a tough gig. Just ask Sid the Dummy and Mr. Fizzles.
A/N: Inspired by mamapranayama's prompt for the 9 Days of Season 9 challenge, since Mr. Fizzles was also one of my favorite season 7 moments.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.
"…Demon hunting, it's a tough gig. One minute I'm closing in these organ-eating bozos called the Brotherhood of Seven and the next, my spirit's trapped in a ventriloquist's dummy and I've got a hand shoved up my - "
Sid paused at the sound of the front door opening, his wooden head rolling to the side to thud against the open trunk. If he still breathed, he would have stirred up a cloud of dust and rock salt on the shelf on which he lay. Instead, he stilled, looking like nothing more than the toy he was stuck inside.
The hunter he currently belonged to walked past, picking up the item he'd come in after, then resetting the traps surrounding his storage room. Sid had to admit, it was an impressive set-up and a great place to store curse boxes and weapons. Unfortunately, the paranoid hunter had assumed Sid was a cursed item and locked him up, so the dummy wasn't in the mood for admiration.
"Obsessive son of a bitch," Sid muttered, as soon as the hunter stepped back out. He lifted himself back up, hopping over the pointless trap surrounding his trunk. His tiny dress shoes clacked as he shuffled over to the other, smaller box, prying at the tacked-on lid. "Anyhow, where was I? Oh, yeah - you were about to tell me how the hell you ended up here, kid."
"Mr. Fizzles," a muffled voice corrected from inside.
Sid snorted. "Sure, uh, Fizzles. You know my story…How'd you end up a toy?"
As soon as the lid was popped, a gray sock appeared over the lip of the box, filling out as if a hand were inside it. Colorful yarn spilled over what should have been an empty heel seam as if it were hair. Blue buttons created unblinking eyes and red lips had been painted onto the fold of fabric serving as a mouth.
A sigh sounded out of the sock, then a goofy, pitched voice followed. "Welllll, Sid the Dummy, you should never ever make a witch angry, especially if you're an undercover hunter tracking her coven and she's…" He lowered his voice for dramatic effect. "…the star of a children's show!" He shook his head from side to side, overly excited. "Wanna know why, boys and girls?"
Sid's eyebrows slid up, clicking into place. "I can venture a guess. You sleep with her?"
"I suuuure did!" Mr. Fizzles replied, nodding enthusiastically.
Sid shook his head. "I can respect that. Now how about we get out of here. I used Grumpy's computer while he was putting together that those hex bags…Got myself sold on something called 'Ebay' to an enthusiast living on a Hellmouth. Should be as good a place as any to pick up the hunt."
The sock puppet's face squished together.
"Don't worry, Fizz," Sid said. "I know you're outta the game these days. You'll be happy to know your next owner's a nice, tame dentist looking to expand his collection…Probably a pervert with a foot fetish, but, hey, at least you won't be demon hunting with 'GetGarthed13', am I right?"