Fic: Kitteh Porn
Title: Kitteh Porn
Rating: R
Author: mandraco
Disclaimer: This is fanfiction. I didn't invent these characters or settings. I just glued them together.
Genre: Gen-ish. (Read the title again.)
Wordcount: 561
Characters/Pairings: Sam, Dean, OFC (Original Female Cat), YED!Kitteh
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: [I don't want to spoil the story but you probably should read the warnings.]Cat sex. Talk of murdering a pregnant cat or several.
Summary: The YED is back. But Sam doesn't need to worry, Dean's got this one.
Author's Note: As usual, lolaann1 said not to do something and I did it anyway. You'd think being a mod here would give her more power...
x X X x
"Dude!" said Sam, staring at his brother. "I told you that Yellow Eyes was back and you just walked away. I've been freaking out for hours here. Where have you been?"
"Sam, relax," said Dean, holding up a placating hand. "I've got this."
"What do you mean you've 'got this'? The only thing you've got that I can see is a cat. Seriously, Dean? Did you touch something you weren't supposed to again?"
"No!" snapped Dean. "Just listen. Hear me out."
"Are you going to tell me that's not a cat? Because maybe I'm the one who's cursed. That would make a lot more sense than this."
"No, it's a cat," said Dean.
"Let me guess," said Sam. "Not just any cat."
"You took the words right out of my mouth. She's--"
"Rubbing herself against my pillow! Dean!" Sam's voice rose to a register unnaturally high for a man of his size. "That's where I sleep!"
Dean laughed. "Guess she likes you. That's probably a good sign."
Sam didn't want to ask, but the words came out anyway. "How exactly is that a good sign?"
"She's in heat," Dean said, walking over and stroking the cat's fur.
"Is this for some sort of spell I've never heard of before?"
Dean grinned. "Yup. That's definitely it. You wouldn't know what this spell was if it walked up to you wearing high heels and a whipped cream bra."
"Are you done being cryptic? Just show me the spell."
x x x
Dean set the pot full of spell ingredients on fire.
"Isn't that just a summoning spell?" said Sam, looking around. Suddenly the devil's trap Dean had drawn on the floor made a lot more sense. "Did you just summon Yellow Eyes here?"
Dean smirked that way he did when he'd just superglued Sam's boxers together. "I told you, I've got this."
There was a cat in the devil's trap. A cat with yellow eyes. "Dean, you didn't?"
"Didn't what?" asked Dean. "Use the old 'I bet you can't possess a cat' trick and then burn a binding sigil on him? Well I can't tell you that I didn't because that would make me a liar."
"So why didn't you just kill him?"
"The knife didn't work," said Dean. "And the Colt's out of bullets, so I brought the next best thing."
Sam failed to see how the next best thing was another cat.
Dean dropped the female cat into the devil's trap with the Yellow-Eyed Kitty. At first the YEK tried to ignore her, but the cat insisted upon it, and before long there was full on cat on cat action going on in the devil's trap.
Sam looked away and tried not to listen to the noises they were making. "How is this supposed to help?"
"If he's distracted, he can't hurt us." Dean was watching the cats go at it like it was an episode of Dr Sexy.
"And then when the cat gets pregnant and has little half-demon kittens?"
Dean frowned. "I didn't think of that. Never mind, I'll just stab the cat before it gives birth and throw in another cat."
"Where are you going to get another cat from?"
"There's a cat farm down the road. Easy pickings. I'm not an idiot, Sam. I know a heat cycle doesn't last forever."
No, idiot wasn't quite the word Sam would use.
Rating: R
Author: mandraco
Disclaimer: This is fanfiction. I didn't invent these characters or settings. I just glued them together.
Genre: Gen-ish. (Read the title again.)
Wordcount: 561
Characters/Pairings: Sam, Dean, OFC (Original Female Cat), YED!Kitteh
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: [I don't want to spoil the story but you probably should read the warnings.]Cat sex. Talk of murdering a pregnant cat or several.
Summary: The YED is back. But Sam doesn't need to worry, Dean's got this one.
Author's Note: As usual, lolaann1 said not to do something and I did it anyway. You'd think being a mod here would give her more power...
x X X x
"Dude!" said Sam, staring at his brother. "I told you that Yellow Eyes was back and you just walked away. I've been freaking out for hours here. Where have you been?"
"Sam, relax," said Dean, holding up a placating hand. "I've got this."
"What do you mean you've 'got this'? The only thing you've got that I can see is a cat. Seriously, Dean? Did you touch something you weren't supposed to again?"
"No!" snapped Dean. "Just listen. Hear me out."
"Are you going to tell me that's not a cat? Because maybe I'm the one who's cursed. That would make a lot more sense than this."
"No, it's a cat," said Dean.
"Let me guess," said Sam. "Not just any cat."
"You took the words right out of my mouth. She's--"
"Rubbing herself against my pillow! Dean!" Sam's voice rose to a register unnaturally high for a man of his size. "That's where I sleep!"
Dean laughed. "Guess she likes you. That's probably a good sign."
Sam didn't want to ask, but the words came out anyway. "How exactly is that a good sign?"
"She's in heat," Dean said, walking over and stroking the cat's fur.
"Is this for some sort of spell I've never heard of before?"
Dean grinned. "Yup. That's definitely it. You wouldn't know what this spell was if it walked up to you wearing high heels and a whipped cream bra."
"Are you done being cryptic? Just show me the spell."
x x x
Dean set the pot full of spell ingredients on fire.
"Isn't that just a summoning spell?" said Sam, looking around. Suddenly the devil's trap Dean had drawn on the floor made a lot more sense. "Did you just summon Yellow Eyes here?"
Dean smirked that way he did when he'd just superglued Sam's boxers together. "I told you, I've got this."
There was a cat in the devil's trap. A cat with yellow eyes. "Dean, you didn't?"
"Didn't what?" asked Dean. "Use the old 'I bet you can't possess a cat' trick and then burn a binding sigil on him? Well I can't tell you that I didn't because that would make me a liar."
"So why didn't you just kill him?"
"The knife didn't work," said Dean. "And the Colt's out of bullets, so I brought the next best thing."
Sam failed to see how the next best thing was another cat.
Dean dropped the female cat into the devil's trap with the Yellow-Eyed Kitty. At first the YEK tried to ignore her, but the cat insisted upon it, and before long there was full on cat on cat action going on in the devil's trap.
Sam looked away and tried not to listen to the noises they were making. "How is this supposed to help?"
"If he's distracted, he can't hurt us." Dean was watching the cats go at it like it was an episode of Dr Sexy.
"And then when the cat gets pregnant and has little half-demon kittens?"
Dean frowned. "I didn't think of that. Never mind, I'll just stab the cat before it gives birth and throw in another cat."
"Where are you going to get another cat from?"
"There's a cat farm down the road. Easy pickings. I'm not an idiot, Sam. I know a heat cycle doesn't last forever."
No, idiot wasn't quite the word Sam would use.