Crowley's Christmas Fic Exchange: The Christmas Cat for KIngstoken
Recipient: kingstoken
Author: fledge
Genre: Poetry, Gen
Word Count: 1,025
Characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, Jack, Crowley
Original Prompt: Cas finds a hairless cat in the snow and decides to bring it home for the holidays, Sam is unsure about this, and Dean is not impressed
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…
This was largely because of Dean’s excellent food,
Which had kept all the men in a festival mood.
Except Castiel, who of course didn’t eat;
So he went for a walk in the snow, for a treat.
The cool, shining whiteness lay heaped all around,
When into the silence there came a small sound.
The angel looked down, and he almost swore
As he couldn’t believe what it was that he saw.
Curled up on the ground like a naked pink rat
Was a miserable, shivering, hairless cat!
“Where did you come from?” he queried in wonder,
And the thought of its fate made his brow black as thunder.
“You’ll freeze to your death!” The words caught in his throat
And he tucked the cat snugly inside his trenchcoat.
Then he retraced his route without further demur
As the poor little animal started to purr.
“What’s that you’ve got there, Cas?” they asked the next day
As they crowded around all the gifts on display,
Brightly wrapped packages under the tree
Which Dean had put up in the library.
The angel was perched on the edge of a chair,
Bending over his lap, and what lay curled up there.
He picked the cat up with a proud little smile
As its body vibrated with purring the while.
As Jack gasped and opened his mouth in an O,
Explained Cas, “I rescued him, out in the snow.”
But, “That’s not a cat!” was Dean’s knee jerk reply
So the nephilim turned with a frown and asked, “Why?”
Dean spluttered and eyed Cas’s armful askance,
So Sam tackled, as usual, the instructional dance.
“Most cats,” he explained, “are covered in fur,
But hairless varieties sometimes appear.
They need extra attention,” he mused with a frown,
As Jack begged the angel to put the cat down.
“Extra attention? Like what?” asked the boy,
His own half diverted by this living toy.
“I think they need regular bathing,” Sam said,
As he put out a finger to stroke the cat’s head.
“And sweaters to keep them from getting a chill,
It’s a whole lot of work so they don’t become ill.”
“That’s fine, I’ll do it!” Jack volunteered happily
“Please say we can keep him,” he pleaded. “Oh may we?”
But Dean was still bridling with suspicious looks
Muttering, “That’s not a cat!” to the surrounding books.
“And what about allergies?” the hunter exclaimed,
“I’ll be sneezing so much I’ll be constantly brained.”
“You won’t sneeze from this,” Sam reminded him smugly.
“Remember, it’s hairless!” But Dean quipped, “It’s fugly.”
“I think he’s cute,” replied innocent Jack,
“And I’ll learn to knit sweaters to cover his back.”
“It could be beneficial,” Sam smiled, and shrugged greatly.
“I’m sure that we’ve been overrun by mice lately.”
So the issue was settled, though Dean was upset,
And the cat settled in to become their new pet.
After Jack’s favourite movie, ‘Gremlin’ t’was christened,
And Dean grumbled warnings but nobody listened.
The cat did its job and the mice stayed away,
And three of them loved their peculiar stray.
Now all cats are strange, and the boys were distracted
By enemies, hunting and research protracted.
So it took them a while to notice, by God,
That some of its antics were distinctly odd.
Jack never did get to learn how to knit sweaters,
Since it somehow kept warm, whatever the weather.
One time, before dinner, their meatloaf it stole:
It unhinged its jaws wide and just swallowed it whole.
“There’s no cat can do that!” Dean roundly declared,
But Gremlin just sat there and cockily stared.
He licked his pink lips, then yawned with a grin
That revealed rows of teeth, each one sharp as a pin.
“He seems pretty harmless,” Sam said, with some doubt
“Though how in the world he keeps getting out,
When the doors are all warded and kept locked besides,
I’ve no clue, but he scratches to be let back inside.”
Dean muttered, “You don’t know the half of it all;
I’m certain I’ve seen him walk right through a wall!”
Then Crowley came by, to bring questionable cheer
And wish them, as allies, a prosperous new year.
They were just in the middle of sharing a toast,
When Gremlin strolled in, like he ruled the roast.
He arched up his back, and he hissed and he spat,
At something invisible down on the mat.
Chaos ensued, with barking and growling;
The mat flew aside as the something ran, howling,
With the cat in pursuit, his eyes glowing green
As everyone stared at the baffling scene.
Then Crowley snarled, “Bloody hell, what have you done?
I thought I was rid of them, over the pond!”
“What’s going on?” Sam reasonably asked,
While the King of Hell roundly took them to task.
“It’s a nice kind of welcome,” he started to fret,
“Your kobold is chasing my poor Juliette!”
“I told you,” crowed Dean, “that it wasn’t a cat!”
While Sam frowned, “Your hellhound? Well, why’d you bring that?”
The halls of the bunker rang loud with the chase
And Crowley was mad, from the look on his face.
“Kobolds; I hate ‘em!” he snarled with a scoff.
“If you’re living with faerie,” he fumed, “then I’m off!”
He whistled his dog back to heel, and vanished
And Gremlin looked pleased, his foe to have banished.
He sat on the map table, licking his paws
To the sound of Dean Winchester’s ardent applause.
“A cat that scares hellhounds, at the end of the day,
Is the best kind of guardian,” he cheered. “Let him stay!”
So the cat - or the kobold - no more had to roam,
Having found in the bunker his forever home.
Now it only remains to wish you, reader dear,
My thanks for your interest, and holiday cheer!
Merry Christmas to all, and a happy new year!
Author: fledge
Genre: Poetry, Gen
Word Count: 1,025
Characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, Jack, Crowley
Original Prompt: Cas finds a hairless cat in the snow and decides to bring it home for the holidays, Sam is unsure about this, and Dean is not impressed
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…
This was largely because of Dean’s excellent food,
Which had kept all the men in a festival mood.
Except Castiel, who of course didn’t eat;
So he went for a walk in the snow, for a treat.
The cool, shining whiteness lay heaped all around,
When into the silence there came a small sound.
The angel looked down, and he almost swore
As he couldn’t believe what it was that he saw.
Curled up on the ground like a naked pink rat
Was a miserable, shivering, hairless cat!
“Where did you come from?” he queried in wonder,
And the thought of its fate made his brow black as thunder.
“You’ll freeze to your death!” The words caught in his throat
And he tucked the cat snugly inside his trenchcoat.
Then he retraced his route without further demur
As the poor little animal started to purr.
“What’s that you’ve got there, Cas?” they asked the next day
As they crowded around all the gifts on display,
Brightly wrapped packages under the tree
Which Dean had put up in the library.
The angel was perched on the edge of a chair,
Bending over his lap, and what lay curled up there.
He picked the cat up with a proud little smile
As its body vibrated with purring the while.
As Jack gasped and opened his mouth in an O,
Explained Cas, “I rescued him, out in the snow.”
But, “That’s not a cat!” was Dean’s knee jerk reply
So the nephilim turned with a frown and asked, “Why?”
Dean spluttered and eyed Cas’s armful askance,
So Sam tackled, as usual, the instructional dance.
“Most cats,” he explained, “are covered in fur,
But hairless varieties sometimes appear.
They need extra attention,” he mused with a frown,
As Jack begged the angel to put the cat down.
“Extra attention? Like what?” asked the boy,
His own half diverted by this living toy.
“I think they need regular bathing,” Sam said,
As he put out a finger to stroke the cat’s head.
“And sweaters to keep them from getting a chill,
It’s a whole lot of work so they don’t become ill.”
“That’s fine, I’ll do it!” Jack volunteered happily
“Please say we can keep him,” he pleaded. “Oh may we?”
But Dean was still bridling with suspicious looks
Muttering, “That’s not a cat!” to the surrounding books.
“And what about allergies?” the hunter exclaimed,
“I’ll be sneezing so much I’ll be constantly brained.”
“You won’t sneeze from this,” Sam reminded him smugly.
“Remember, it’s hairless!” But Dean quipped, “It’s fugly.”
“I think he’s cute,” replied innocent Jack,
“And I’ll learn to knit sweaters to cover his back.”
“It could be beneficial,” Sam smiled, and shrugged greatly.
“I’m sure that we’ve been overrun by mice lately.”
So the issue was settled, though Dean was upset,
And the cat settled in to become their new pet.
After Jack’s favourite movie, ‘Gremlin’ t’was christened,
And Dean grumbled warnings but nobody listened.
The cat did its job and the mice stayed away,
And three of them loved their peculiar stray.
Now all cats are strange, and the boys were distracted
By enemies, hunting and research protracted.
So it took them a while to notice, by God,
That some of its antics were distinctly odd.
Jack never did get to learn how to knit sweaters,
Since it somehow kept warm, whatever the weather.
One time, before dinner, their meatloaf it stole:
It unhinged its jaws wide and just swallowed it whole.
“There’s no cat can do that!” Dean roundly declared,
But Gremlin just sat there and cockily stared.
He licked his pink lips, then yawned with a grin
That revealed rows of teeth, each one sharp as a pin.
“He seems pretty harmless,” Sam said, with some doubt
“Though how in the world he keeps getting out,
When the doors are all warded and kept locked besides,
I’ve no clue, but he scratches to be let back inside.”
Dean muttered, “You don’t know the half of it all;
I’m certain I’ve seen him walk right through a wall!”
Then Crowley came by, to bring questionable cheer
And wish them, as allies, a prosperous new year.
They were just in the middle of sharing a toast,
When Gremlin strolled in, like he ruled the roast.
He arched up his back, and he hissed and he spat,
At something invisible down on the mat.
Chaos ensued, with barking and growling;
The mat flew aside as the something ran, howling,
With the cat in pursuit, his eyes glowing green
As everyone stared at the baffling scene.
Then Crowley snarled, “Bloody hell, what have you done?
I thought I was rid of them, over the pond!”
“What’s going on?” Sam reasonably asked,
While the King of Hell roundly took them to task.
“It’s a nice kind of welcome,” he started to fret,
“Your kobold is chasing my poor Juliette!”
“I told you,” crowed Dean, “that it wasn’t a cat!”
While Sam frowned, “Your hellhound? Well, why’d you bring that?”
The halls of the bunker rang loud with the chase
And Crowley was mad, from the look on his face.
“Kobolds; I hate ‘em!” he snarled with a scoff.
“If you’re living with faerie,” he fumed, “then I’m off!”
He whistled his dog back to heel, and vanished
And Gremlin looked pleased, his foe to have banished.
He sat on the map table, licking his paws
To the sound of Dean Winchester’s ardent applause.
“A cat that scares hellhounds, at the end of the day,
Is the best kind of guardian,” he cheered. “Let him stay!”
So the cat - or the kobold - no more had to roam,
Having found in the bunker his forever home.
Now it only remains to wish you, reader dear,
My thanks for your interest, and holiday cheer!
Merry Christmas to all, and a happy new year!