Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4sandymgAugust 18 2011, 04:38:51 UTC
“No. I’m trying to keep you alive, you idiot. Now stop talking and go.”
Tear filled eyes stare into his. “It hurts.”
Against his better judgment Jensen puts his weapon down and approaches Jared, helping him to his feet. He touches the taller man’s cheeks. “I’m sorry. There had to be blood.”
Jared locks watery eyes with Jensen’s. He raises his good hand. “I’m a whore,” he says slowly as if somehow Jensen doesn’t understand that part.
“Not anymore.”
He can see Jared sway and wants to really yell at him to get going. “You don’t know anything about me … a-about what I’ve … “
“You gave me an apple. My foster mom … she didn’t always feed me. An’ you gave me an apple.”
Jared laughs. Actually chuckles between pain-filled breaths. “You’re crazy.”
“Without a doubt. Get in the SUV.”
“Where will we … I mean … are you taking me to a hospital?”
Jared was adorable but not that bright. “Jared … do you want to live? Because if you do, then we have to go far away and stay there. I won’t make you stay with me. But I will take you away from here.”
A shaky hand reaches out as Jared takes yet another step closer. He’s staring at Jensen like he’s seeing a ghost. “Jensen Ackles - the shy, beautiful boy from English. This isn’t … people like me don’t get second chances with people like you.”
“Jared, you do realize what I do for a living, right?”
Lips are approaching his and Jensen is helpless to pull away. He’s tasting at the same time he’s hearing Jared’s words. “You save people too stupid to live?”
Jensen wants to deny this. Tell Jared he’s not stupid. He’s funny and sweet and is the only thing of a childhood too fucked up for words that he ever even wants to remember. But Jared’s lips are on his, pressing softly and turning slightly until their mouths just. Fit. And then there’s nothing but decades of ice melting away beneath an onslaught of warm pants and quick kitten licks and deep, long probes.
He pulls back slowly, chasing the taste of tears and underlying sweetness, like candy, like rainbows. Like all things Jared. “Go. Black SUV, 1B, row A7.”
Jared doesn’t say another word. He palms his wound again although Jensen suspects it’s already started to clot and walks out the door.
Cleaning up any possible prints takes a few minutes. He leaves the bloodstains and the casing. He suspects the clients will think that things got messier than Jensen intended and that he had to leave quick with the body. He’ll know if they bought it if the money shows up in his account.
After a last glance around the room he walks out silently and heads for the stairs. He doesn’t know if Jared will be in the car or not. It’s 50/50 in his mind. If the brothers spot Jared among the living then Jensen can’t expect to be around long. He didn’t tell that to Jared. He needed to see for himself if the boy he remembered was really still in there.
It’s a long walk down to the basement level. And he’s thinking now Jared must have fled. After all, Jensen shot him. And Jared admitted himself that Jensen didn’t know him anymore. He wants Jared to be in the SUV, he acknowledges. Wants it with a ferocity that’s petrifying. He hasn’t needed anyone since the last foster home he lived in before turning eighteen and being freed from the system.
Needing a hazel-eyed near stranger makes no sense. The professional side of him is appalled.
Opening the garage door, Jensen blinks to accommodate his eyes to the brighter lighting. He sees his car in the space he left it. It looks pristine and untouched and Jensen swallows hard. It hurts like someone popped a bullet into him. He’s hardly breathing as he takes the necessary steps forward.
It’s faint at first. A mere dot. But there, on the concrete floor, is a small brownish speck. The pro in him recognizes it instantly. It could be old or someone else’s. But the boy he once was, shy, awkward, besotted by an overgrown friendly jock comes to life once more as he follows those tiny spots into a world called hope.
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4fleeting_wingsAugust 18 2011, 05:07:36 UTC
Oh my goodness, this is so good! I'm absolutely intrigued by your Jared and Jensen already. Your writing! GAH! Their history, though written briefly, is purposely left vague, but I can still picture that sweet high school crush, something that could have been. Gosh, I really wanna know what made Jensen decide to kill for a living (his foster mom sounds like a bitch!) and why Jared lost his scholarship and is now whoring. Poor boys, so insecure and full of issues, but the ending is leaving things WIDE OPEN for a 'VERSE! hint hint ;D Please let there be more? ♥
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4sandymgAugust 18 2011, 05:11:27 UTC
Thanks so much. I appreciate your kinds words. I do like these boys but have so many committments for other incomplete verses I just can't take on another at present. I will offer this storyline up for anyone who feels like taking it on and maybe even writing some schmoopy porn to follow their great escape.
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4thisweshallseeAugust 18 2011, 05:48:24 UTC
I loved this! <333 I can't help but want more. :-) Now I want to know how they got here, it makes me want to know what happened after highschool to make them end up doing what they do, and where they go from here. Great job. :-)
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4your_byronAugust 18 2011, 07:23:31 UTC
Good morning! I wanted some porn with my coffee and here you had to go and write something like this. And now i want a Jared POV, a prequel, a sequel, sweet lovemaking and...a verse, i want a verse!
Awesome story! I love! So sweet. See, give your crush a apple and you will not be killed several years later. *g*
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4sandymgAugust 19 2011, 01:17:24 UTC
Thanks. I know. This is like anti-porn. Doesn't quite fit. But like I said it just came out. It's still dark for me so I can't see me continuing with these guys. But I'm open to sharing the plot bunny with anyone who feels like taking it up and doing it justice.
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4tmn1966August 18 2011, 11:45:31 UTC
I know I shouldn't be amazed at how much information you are able to put into a story with such brevity. Jensen's childhood was not a good one and I can see where money is going to be a motivator for him - not having enough to eat as a child, well, I can't even imagine how that would be. And maybe I'm perverse, but I'm glad you included the 'messy' details involved with someone dying. You're right, they don't tell you those things, but they are there nonetheless. Another way to show how cold and calculating Jensen has to be.
And Jensen is very meticulous here, from his suit to his mannerisms and even his speech. What a surprise to find Jared on the other side of that door. Two broken boys finding each other again.
I really loved how you handled the awkwardness of it all. Jared swearing he won't tell anyone what he saw. Jensen shooting Jared. And even Jared insistance that he isn't worth it, that he's only a whore, even knowing what Jensen had been hired to do.
You named this well. 'The Hit'. Yeah, it did. Hard. In lots of different ways.
Your ending line is beautiful:
But the boy he once was, shy, awkward, besotted by an overgrown friendly jock comes to life once more as he follows those tiny spots into a world called hope.
This was so well done, I wish there could be more, but I understand you have so much going on right now. Maybe someday, eh?
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4sandymgAugust 19 2011, 01:18:26 UTC
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. It is an intriguing set of characters but they are honestly just a little too dark for me. Maybe someone else will feel like taking them up one day.
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4spn_j2fanAugust 18 2011, 22:03:27 UTC
Wow! What a great job you did with this, and I just wanted more, more more! It was such a beautiful snapshot into two lives that could have gone so differently. So rich in detail and emotion. I even loved his license plate! Great story! Thank you! :)
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4thisweshallseeAugust 19 2011, 04:44:40 UTC
Sorry, I'm kind of embarressed to ask, but everyones talking about the liscence plate and I guess I'm just not getting what the letters mean. Maybe I'm not real observant, lol, but I'd love to know. :-)
Re: Filled -- The Hit 4/4sandymgAugust 19 2011, 01:07:23 UTC
Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it. It was very different for me. And even though I guess I hardly went truly dark this is among the darkest I've ever written.
Tear filled eyes stare into his. “It hurts.”
Against his better judgment Jensen puts his weapon down and approaches Jared, helping him to his feet. He touches the taller man’s cheeks. “I’m sorry. There had to be blood.”
Jared locks watery eyes with Jensen’s. He raises his good hand. “I’m a whore,” he says slowly as if somehow Jensen doesn’t understand that part.
“Not anymore.”
He can see Jared sway and wants to really yell at him to get going. “You don’t know anything about me … a-about what I’ve … “
“You gave me an apple. My foster mom … she didn’t always feed me. An’ you gave me an apple.”
Jared laughs. Actually chuckles between pain-filled breaths. “You’re crazy.”
“Without a doubt. Get in the SUV.”
“Where will we … I mean … are you taking me to a hospital?”
Jared was adorable but not that bright. “Jared … do you want to live? Because if you do, then we have to go far away and stay there. I won’t make you stay with me. But I will take you away from here.”
A shaky hand reaches out as Jared takes yet another step closer. He’s staring at Jensen like he’s seeing a ghost. “Jensen Ackles - the shy, beautiful boy from English. This isn’t … people like me don’t get second chances with people like you.”
“Jared, you do realize what I do for a living, right?”
Lips are approaching his and Jensen is helpless to pull away. He’s tasting at the same time he’s hearing Jared’s words. “You save people too stupid to live?”
Jensen wants to deny this. Tell Jared he’s not stupid. He’s funny and sweet and is the only thing of a childhood too fucked up for words that he ever even wants to remember. But Jared’s lips are on his, pressing softly and turning slightly until their mouths just. Fit. And then there’s nothing but decades of ice melting away beneath an onslaught of warm pants and quick kitten licks and deep, long probes.
He pulls back slowly, chasing the taste of tears and underlying sweetness, like candy, like rainbows. Like all things Jared. “Go. Black SUV, 1B, row A7.”
Jared doesn’t say another word. He palms his wound again although Jensen suspects it’s already started to clot and walks out the door.
Cleaning up any possible prints takes a few minutes. He leaves the bloodstains and the casing. He suspects the clients will think that things got messier than Jensen intended and that he had to leave quick with the body. He’ll know if they bought it if the money shows up in his account.
After a last glance around the room he walks out silently and heads for the stairs. He doesn’t know if Jared will be in the car or not. It’s 50/50 in his mind. If the brothers spot Jared among the living then Jensen can’t expect to be around long. He didn’t tell that to Jared. He needed to see for himself if the boy he remembered was really still in there.
It’s a long walk down to the basement level. And he’s thinking now Jared must have fled. After all, Jensen shot him. And Jared admitted himself that Jensen didn’t know him anymore. He wants Jared to be in the SUV, he acknowledges. Wants it with a ferocity that’s petrifying. He hasn’t needed anyone since the last foster home he lived in before turning eighteen and being freed from the system.
Needing a hazel-eyed near stranger makes no sense. The professional side of him is appalled.
Opening the garage door, Jensen blinks to accommodate his eyes to the brighter lighting. He sees his car in the space he left it. It looks pristine and untouched and Jensen swallows hard. It hurts like someone popped a bullet into him. He’s hardly breathing as he takes the necessary steps forward.
It’s faint at first. A mere dot. But there, on the concrete floor, is a small brownish speck. The pro in him recognizes it instantly. It could be old or someone else’s. But the boy he once was, shy, awkward, besotted by an overgrown friendly jock comes to life once more as he follows those tiny spots into a world called hope.
fin
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Awesome story! I love! So sweet. See, give your crush a apple and you will not be killed several years later. *g*
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And Jensen is very meticulous here, from his suit to his mannerisms and even his speech. What a surprise to find Jared on the other side of that door. Two broken boys finding each other again.
I really loved how you handled the awkwardness of it all. Jared swearing he won't tell anyone what he saw. Jensen shooting Jared. And even Jared insistance that he isn't worth it, that he's only a whore, even knowing what Jensen had been hired to do.
You named this well. 'The Hit'. Yeah, it did. Hard. In lots of different ways.
Your ending line is beautiful:
But the boy he once was, shy, awkward, besotted by an overgrown friendly jock comes to life once more as he follows those tiny spots into a world called hope.
This was so well done, I wish there could be more, but I understand you have so much going on right now. Maybe someday, eh?
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