"and where...the FUCK...are you...............tonight"
this COMPLETES my life...essentially
beth hosted an amazing classy christmas dinner tonight. we all dressed according to the invitation, making for an EXTREMELY classy evening. and then we all exchanged our $1 gifts, and ate salad and eggplant and cake and tea and took 4890238 pictures and it was CUTE.
The new Put it Under Bevin CD was given to us all as gifts and it is BEYOND expectations, the best part being the BYOB cover at the end...unbeliieevvabbllee.
im giddy! i had a motivational speech moment in the car on the way home. there was some song "all i want for christmas is you" (not mariah) on the radio and i came to the conclusion that i dont want ANYONE for christmas. this isn't meant to sound like badass or anything..just for ONCE in my life im completely content with being on my own. warning, im probably gonna get cheesy as usual. i feel like im actually in control of the happenings in my life, and im not just settling for situations that will make me unhappy in the end. for anyone who doesn't know first hand, ending an intense relationship is extremely difficult, especially when youre the one initiating it. i think i was second guessing myself for wayyyy too long, and i know that it makes me look like a MEAN MEAN person in the end, but im not perfect. it is exxttreeemmeelly hard to tell someone that you just don't feel right in a relationship anymore. i am enjoying being completely single and am not looking and i love it, and its NEW for me to feel this way. i feel like im actually living life, as opposed to being stuck in a stupid RUT that i couldn't get out of. for the first time i feel like this is a real change as opposed to a temporary break.. again, i hope i dont sound mean because that's not it at all. people change, and im not sure people completely understand the intense personality extremes i had to put up with for quite some time...
or maybe they do. idk.
k done with cheeeessee-iness for now
im giddy for christmas eve! not so much christmas day because its always boring. tomorrow im helping clean and making the annual federico christmas cookies ..ahhhh im pumped for them..haha.
so thats it for now i guess...my motivational message being be happy where you ARE in life, because nothing is going to stay the same forever and if you feel stuck in ANY way remove yourself from the situation because it will undoubtedly make you a better person in the end.
this entry is ridiculously stupid but i'm posting it anyway
<3333333333