The Rising Red- Chapter 5- "Lets Not Star Something We Can't Finish."
BSG Fic- The Rising Red
(It's also uploaded at Survival Instinct for those who prefer that format.)
Summary: An angsty and slightly AU fic surrounding Adama and Roslin. The President's life is jeopardy and it's only a matter of time until it's too late.
Rated: M
Disclaimer: These character are unfortunatley not mine! I'm just puttin them into my own little storyline to keep me entertained until Season 4!
It's set after Epiphanies and before Sacrifice in Season 2.
Thanks to my Betas
laharah and
trickalicious78 for getting me though this.
Chapter 5- ‘Lets Not Start Something We Can't Finish.’ -Word count 9977
Chapter 1 can be found here.
Chapter 2 can be found here.
Chapter 3 can be found here
Chapter 4 can be found here
A strong hand took hold of Bill’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “You hangin’ in there?”
Bill turned slowly and caught the eye of Colonel Tigh who was stood behind him, watching the medics and doctors run around the sickbay, putting their skills to good use. It was unnerving to watch when you didn’t understand the complexities of medicine. All around the room, you could hear various words and phrases that sounded like another language. How were you meant to grasp what’s going on when the world is no longer speaking of what you understand?
“Bill?” Tigh said, moving to his friends side.
Bill had heard him, but had chosen to ignore him. Saul knew him well enough and he knew that was the way that he operated. If he were to carry on with things then Saul would understand that he was coping. He doubted that his best friend had seen him in a state of not being able to cope for a long time. That would involve a lot of anger and lashing out, and he didn’t like doing that. “Do we have any more news?” Bill said, his concentration and gaze still resting on the three beds before him.
Tigh nodded his head. “We certainly frakking do, and that’s why I came down here. We need you back. Helo has some more information that he picked up from the cameras.”
Bill turned his head slightly and looked at Tigh from the corner of his eye. “What is it?”
“You’re not going to frakking believe this, Bill, seriously. Come on,” he turned and opened the hatch, waiting for his friend to pull himself away from the mess before them. Tigh could see the concern etched across his face like a line in the sand and he watched as Bill pulled himself away, all of his willpower stopping him from standing there for the rest of the night, observing and protecting.
-----
The long walk through the ship was quiet, Bill not keeping up with conversation, his mind too busy and distant for him to maintain any kind of thought process. The pair of them veered into a room where the lights had been turned up and the projector pulled out. Helo was stood facing them with a handful of papers and a grim expression on his face.
“Sir,” Helo said, bringing his hand to a salute.
“What’ve we got then, Lieutenant?” Bill said, taking a seat in front of the projector, adjusting his glasses as he looked up.
Helo turned the projector on and pushed an image onto the screen. When Bill looked closely at the scorched metal he could see quite clearly the imprint of a Cylon’s head, seared into the metal just above the explosion site. “A Cylon?”
“This was taken by Starbuck, sir, at one of the explosions sites. It’s an imprint, someone did this after the explosions, so they were done on purpose.” Helo clicked the button, rolling on another photo. “These men here were all wearing red suits. Each of them had that same imprint on their arms. They’re obviously connected to the explosions, sir.”
Bill looked at the slide, the dead bodies lying on the floor, the Cylon mark on their arm. “Any survivors?”
Helo shook his head. “No, sir. We had no option to take them prisoner, they were too heavily armed for us to take them out without killing them.”
Bill nodded. “So, what do you think this means?”
Saul picked up a red flyer to the side of him and placed it in front of Bill. “It’s the Cylon worshippers. They’re out of control.”
Bill had feared that as soon as he had seen the marks on the men. Tigh had been right all along. A sickening feeling rose in Bill’s stomach. If he had been a bit more on top of things, if he had listened to his second in command, then maybe they wouldn’t be in this mess. Maybe things would be better and a lot less of a hassle. They could’ve found the cure for Laura. Lee and Kara would be in the rec room now, playing cards instead of lying in their hospital beds. “That’ll be all, Lieutenant.”
Helo nodded his head, placed the files on the desk and exited the room. “I’m sorry, Saul.” Bill said, putting his head in his hands and then running them over his tired face.
“What the frak for?” Tigh said, sitting down in the seat next to Bill.
“You were right, we should have sorted them out sooner.”
Tigh didn’t say anything, he just looked awkwardly to the side, straightening himself up. “Yes, well, what are we going to do now?”
Bill stood up and pulled the papers and sheets from the desk and opened them. “We, my friend, are going to come down on them like a ton of bricks.”
Tigh caught the angry glint in his friend’s eye and leaned forward, interest washing over him. “How so?”
“Do you not remember in the meeting the other day? The president arranged a meeting with these people, to suss out what they wanted. I don’t care what anybody thinks or says, I am throwing whoever comes onto this ship with the intentions of speaking with her, into the brig. We are going to get as much information out of them as we can.”
Tigh nodded his head. “What are you going to tell the President? I don’t think she’ll be happy with the idea of you throwing people into the brig.”
“The President will probably not be well enough to even entertain such a ‘meeting,’ and I’m not letting any of them go, this has gotten way out of hand.” Bill placed everything back in the folder and peered back over at Tigh. “I think after everything she’ll see sense anyway. I’ll have to speak to her when she comes to.”
Tigh nodded his head. “I’ll get some men on it then.”
“I’ll come see you when I’ve spoken to the President. You’re in command until I come back to the CIC. I’ll be in the sickbay if you need me.” Bill nodded and exited the room quietly, his mind still distracted and his brain tired from the days events.
---
Bill stood at the middle of the room, the sounds of machines and monitors beeping at random intervals around him, reminding him constantly that he was in the sickbay. Both Kara and Lee were still unconscious but their bodies stable. Laura was in a bed to the right of theirs, resting peacefully, surrounded by the thin curtains at her request, blocking everyone but the Doctor out.
When Bill thought about it, it was almost like his world was crashing around him. It wasn’t the same world he knew before the attack, but it was the world that had formed around him as the days and months had progressed in the fleet. There weren’t many people out there that had become part of this twisted version of the old reality he knew, but the majority of the ones that had become a part of it were all in the sickbay. He had been an old and nearly retired Commander whose duties had revolved around the old Battlestar in which was, like him, to be retired. Then he was thrust into the deep dark depths of the universe with a rag-tag fleet and the overwhelming pressure to keep the whole human race safe.
There were always risks to being in the military. There were always things that could happen, things that could go wrong, but it still didn’t make it ok when they did arrive. They were in a war. They were running for their lives and here he was, three of the people that played a major part in his current reality, lay before him on the thin cotton sheets of a standard military sickbay, ill and fighting for their lives because of some petty civilians who couldn’t seem to grasp hold of what was right. The Cylons were not Gods, creators and supreme beings. They were simply creations of the ever-evolving and ever-pressing creativity of human minds gone wrong.
Horribly wrong.
Humans had gone against each other for centuries. Whether it be over food, water, lovers or just because they had an absurd passion to kill. However, it still didn’t make sense to him how it could go on now, when their lives were in jeopardy. How anyone could bring themselves to a point where they went against what they were trying to save for a bunch of metal headed toasters? It made him angry.
Another beep.
The curtain around Laura’s bed opened and the chain smoking doctor exited, shaking his head and mumbling something, which to Bill sounded like ‘stubborn.’ The Doc then proceeded to lift up a flip-chart and scribble on a piece of paper before returning it to the little metal casing to the right of the curtain. He inhaled the final drag of his cigarette and put it out quickly inside a small kidney dish on a small metal trolley. Bill watched as he walked to his office. A small cough rattled out from behind the curtain and Bill moved over to it before wrapping his hands around them and pulling them to one side, walking in.
Laura lay curled up like a foetus beneath the bright white cotton sheets, her hand lying against her brow covering her eyes and her other hand resting gently on her stomach. The short shallow breaths signalled that she was in some sort of pain and she was having a rough time. Bill quietly pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down.
“You should be with your son, Bill,” she said from behind her hand, obviously hearing him enter and sit down. “How are they?”
Bill looked briefly down at the ground before peering back up at her, her previously hidden gaze now directed at his face. “They‘re doing well so far. Cottle is keeping them under for a little longer so he can keep their bodies stable. As far as he can tell there isn’t going to be any permanent damage. They should be just fine.”
Laura gazed at his face sympathetically before reaching her hand out to him. Bill lowered his eyes to the floor when he took it, his feelings accumulating inside of him. The truth was he didn’t want to go over to Lee and Kara just yet, he would rather wait until they were conscious. Being near them would heighten his guilt and make it unbearable. It wasn’t like him to feel guilt, but, he couldn’t help but let it muster inside of him. What else was he meant to do? Events took place and you were meant to deal with them to minimise the damage. However, he hadn’t, had he? Tigh had caught onto these people before him and he had now endangered his son and Kara because of it. If he hadn‘t listened to Baltar but to Tigh instead- well, things would be different. There was a high probability that Lee and Kara were going to be ok. Laura, however, nobody could speculate on her odds as there were so many possibilities. Baltar still didn’t have anything, Bill hadn’t found anything and he was pretty sure that Kara hadn’t found anything when he had asked her to check footage. So, Laura was stuck on a deserted island as Bill and the rest of the humanity sailed away on a ship, and every time he threw out a line to her, the ship moved further and further away. The truth of the matter was Bill was scared of losing her.
Laura squeezed his hand gently as he continued to gaze at the floor. She didn’t know if he was coping. She wasn’t sure if he needed her, so, just to clarify she gave him another squeeze of encouragement. “I’m here, Bill, if you need me, you know that don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” he murmured. “It’s just-”
“Right,” coughed Cottle, ripping the curtains open. “I need words with the both of you. Baltar will be here in a few minutes, but I have a few things to say before he gets here.” He pulled his cigarette out of his mouth and pointed it at Laura. “You, young lady, are going to cause yourself some serious damage if you carry on the way you are going. First, you delay telling us about the pain in your neck and then you end up here less then 12 hours later! Can you tell me why you didn’t come here straight away when you started feeling the discomfort in your stomach?”
Laura side glanced to Bill who was now staring at her with a quizzical expression. “I didn’t think…”
“Damn right you didn’t. You are one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. I’m hoping, Admiral, that you are going to make this one see sense. It’s bad enough that you are in this situation, Madam President, but to neglect and abuse your bodies signs is frakking ridiculous. Two weeks on the outside, I said, two weeks! It could be less than that. You need to be more careful. We need as much time as we can so we can get rid of this.” Cottle took a drag on his cigarette and scrunched his angry face at Laura. “Am I making myself clear?”
Laura nodded her head and brought her legs up to her chest. “Yes, you do.”
Cottle looked down at Bill. “Seriously, you need to keep an eye on this one.”
Bill looked to Laura and then to Cottle. “Don’t worry, I’m going to from now on.” So his suspicions had indeed been correct about her, she had been keeping things from him. Obviously, he was happy that it hadn’t been worse but it still made him angry. She hadn’t told him. Why would she not tell him about it? In terms of secret keeping, Bill was certainly the strongest and would never tell anybody about it. Did she not trust him? Was it something he’d done or said? She had said before that trust was important, so why wasn’t she trusting him? He looked at her for a moment and he let go of her hand as he watched her take it back awkwardly. Her secret had been discovered and she didn’t look too comfortable with that.
“Is it ok if I come in?” Gaius mumbled nervously from behind the curtain.
“Yes, get your ass in here now,” Cottle shouted, pulling the curtain to one side and dragging Gaius into the area by his jacket.
Gaius, looking around at all the faces nodded nervously and moved to the unoccupied side of the bed. “Madam President, Admiral Adama, Good day to you.”
“So, do you have the paperwork?” Cottle spat, putting his hands in his oversized pockets.
“Yes. Is it ok for me to read them out to you, Madam President?” Gaius said looking at the Admiral as he said it, being the only one to want to keep the patient confidentiality part up at the present moment, Cottle obviously feeling it necessary to involve the Admiral.
“Of course,” she smiled lightly.
“Well, you had a severe reaction to the pain medication we gave you.”
“I thought you said they would not interact?” Laura said calmly peering at Doc Cottle.
“Well, that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t react. It seems that the chemical in your blood causes a rather violent reaction with one of the compounds in the pills. How many did you take, if you don’t mind me asking?”
Laura raised her eyebrows as she thought about the hours beforehand. “Well, I had two when I was here last and then, when I started feeling the stomach discomfort I took two more.”
“That’s exactly what I had feared,” Baltar said, pulling out some paperwork. “The two you took when you were here before would have slowly reacted as the chemicals were digested and absorbed. You wouldn’t have felt anything straight away, especially if you’d eaten something. As the compounds hit your bloodstream they would have reacted almost instantaneously, which was the stomach pain you felt. Then, having taken more pain medication, and with even the slightest increase in the compounds in the pills made it incredibly painful, which is, what I fear has happened to you.”
“So, it’s not getting worse then?” Bill said as he moved himself in the chair. “I mean, the chemical in her blood, it’s not any worse then it was previously?”
“Well, when Doctor Cottle took a blood sample as you arrived, I checked it, and it has increased quite a bit in concentration, but it doesn’t seem to be doing anything as of yet. I really do think you should remain in the sickbay for as long as possible.”
“I feel much better,” Laura said, not particularly wanting to stay in this room for any longer.
“Well, that’s because of the drug we gave you, it’s counteracting the reaction that took place.” Gaius sat down in the other spare chair. “It seems that we can’t risk you taking anymore pain medication, not until we’re able to verify they won’t react as badly as this one did…I think it was designed to do this so whoever is affected with it has to endure everything, every stage of its progress.”
“I have meetings to attend to, one tomorrow in fact, that I have to go to. Do the sleeping pills react?”
“No, they don’t, we checked those. But, please, Madam President, I really do recommend that you remain here so we can keep an eye on you. You are at a critical stage in all of this. How you handle this mentally and how your body handles it are very important in the overall length of time that you-you have…”
“That I have left…I see. I understand you, Dr Baltar, but there is a fleet out there that needs to Be seen to. There are decisions that need to be made and I-”
“I am the Vice President, I am certainly capable-”
“You’re not listening to me. I took this role because I was the most senior member of the government. I am in charge of the fleet, the people and what goes on. I will not step down from my duties until I am either voted out or I am no longer fit to do so. I will remain on Galactica, a stones throw away from here and Doctor Cottle. It’s not an ideal situation- not one for any of us in general, but it is something that I have to do. We very rarely see eye to eye, but I am hoping that you will respect my decision on this matter. The people need a leader, Dr Baltar, and that is me until the end.”
Bill could see Baltar lean back in his chair, defeated by the pure fiery passion behind Laura Roslin’s eyes. Although he didn’t quite agree with what she was saying- endangering herself even more than she needed to- he could feel admiration burn inside of him like a flame. She was the people’s president indeed and she was going to be until she could do no more. “Well, what do you suggest we do then if the President wishes to carry on with her duties?”
Cottle pulled open her chart. “Well, I want you in here every day so that I can check up on your blood work. I want you taking those pills every night before you go to bed. If you start to feel different, strange or if you feel any pain, I want you down here, no matter the time. I’m never far away. REST is important. As it has been said before, the more sleep you get, the longer you have and I need you to make sure that you adhere to that.”
“Of course,” Laura said, shifting her position on the bed.
“Right, well, I think that is all for now. I’m just going to go see the other two patients outside and then Baltar and I are going to go and see if we can combat this frakking thing.” Cottle shoved an unlit cigarette into his mouth and lit it, nodding at Baltar who jumped up out of his chair and followed him.
Bill sat watching Laura who was now sat idly pulling at stray fibres on her comforter. It was obvious she was avoiding him now that she had been sprung, her motives behind keeping the pain from him were unknown, and it bothered him. When it came down to the wire, Bill thought that she would have kept him informed. Although she may not have done it because they were friends, she should have at least done it because of their positions as co-leaders of the fleet. If something were to happen to her, then he would need to know. Neglecting what they had was like a slap in the face, and not only did it bother him, it made him angry. It wasn’t just anger because of her actions, it was anger because of the whole situation. Guilt, like so many other feelings, could manifest itself into anger. “You could have-”
“I know I could have,” she mumbled. “But I didn’t, Bill. Please,” she said looking up into his eyes, the deep green pools pleading with him. “I did it for a reason, and I don’t want you to be annoyed with me. I know I made a silly decision, but I thought it beneficial.”
“How could keeping something like that from me be beneficial? How would it have been good if that had caused serious damage? How would have that have been good if it had killed you? I could have helped.” Bill could feel his temper blossom in his chest as he spoke those words.
Laura looked away, embarrassed by the truths he was speaking. He was right- again- it could have been worse, but she knew that her motives were of a pure nature. When she looked up she could see the hurt behind his eyes. “I know that it could have been worse. I really do know that. Under these circumstances, I thought it the best thing to do. I wanted to handle this on my own.”
“Is that what this has come down to?” Bill said bitterly, his voice quiet and hard. “After everything we’ve been through, you wanted to do this on your own? That’s why?”
“That’s not what I meant!” She said in a harsh whisper. “It-”
Bill stood from the chair his face set in an angry glare. He didn’t know if it was the fact that she hadn’t trusted him or the fact that he was having a terrible day, but he couldn’t handle this conversation now. “You told me trust was important to you, Laura, and I don’t know if you’re being hypocritical or what, but I can’t do this now.” He turned away from her and left the confines of her ‘room‘, his heart beating fast in his ears and his brain overloaded with regret.
Laura watched, tears pooling in her eyes as he walked away. It wasn’t what she wanted at all. She had done this for him, to ease his pain and make it easier. She had wanted to be by his side if he needed her- when he needed her. Laura trusted him more than she trusted herself sometimes and it pained her to see him walk away, angry with her over something she did for him. It was clear he had misjudged her actions as being selfish and she was regretting not telling him, but she had done what she had needed to do. It was like a part of her leaving as he walked through the open hatch. She wiped the stray tears from her face and looked up, the sympathetic look of Dr Cottle peering at her as he slowly closed the curtain.
“You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone,” she whispered, before lying down and closing her eyes, hoping that something would swallow her whole.
--
Bill stomped down the corridor, his face set in a glare and his posture signalling his anger. People moved out of his way, looking anxiously at him as he ploughed through open hatches and down crowded corridors. It was wrong for him to be angry at her when he knew she did need him, but he couldn’t help it. It was wrong for him to be directing his anger at her solely; everything from the past few days ploughing over him like a bulldozer and it was being aimed directly at her. She had tipped him over the edge and now the bullseye was on her chest. She should have trusted him. It was even worse because she meant so much to him.
The door flew open to the CIC and Bill stormed down to the dradis console where Tigh and Gaeta were looking over reports. “Status,” Bill boomed making Tigh look up quickly from the paperwork.
“The fleets quiet.” Tigh said, eyeing Bill up suspiciously, sensing his bad mood.
“Any news?” Bill said sternly as he moved around to where they were standing, looking down at the papers that were spread there.
“Well, sir,” Gaeta said, moving towards Bill. “Apparently the civilians that used to be onboard the Carina were transported to various ships a few days ago.”
“What?” Bill shouted. “How is that possible? We make contact with those ships daily and
nothing has been said. Do we know who ordered it?” Bill’s temper was steadily blossoming into a flower of rage, burning inside of his chest like a brushfire. It was all going wrong. The stupid thing was, it wasn’t the Cylons, it was the humans that were bringing the fleet crumbling down. Someone out there was laughing at them, mocking them, looking at them like they were ants scurrying around trying to protect their queen. How they managed to keep such a low profile he would never know, but he was going to find out.
“Well, we spoke to some of the captains and apparently it was sent on a colonial coded message that it’s to remain quiet. Nothing transmitted to other ships, so it’s as if it never happened.”
“Where did the message come from?” Bill could hear his heart beating rapidly in his ears, the heat of his anger heating his face. He could feel a rage coming on. Something so strong that it was hard to control, much like the time he came across Leoben for the first time, pummelling him and killing him.
“We don’t know,” Gaeta said nervously.
Bill gripped the console, his knuckles white and his face hard. He steadied himself, letting his breathing calm him and his heartbeat slow. “This is frakking ridiculous. We’re being played! How is it possible that someone out there is managing to do all of this under our noses?” He shouted, banging his fist against one of the nearby structures. “Lieutenant Gaeta, how’s the scrambled message coming along?”
“Well, I’ve started unravelling the outer sequence of code, it’s probably going to take another few days at least. The raptor pilots have all been accounted for too, sir, everybody was at their post. There is nobody on this list that doesn’t have an alibi, or several for that matter.” Gaeta watched the Admiral nervously, not having seen him in such a bad mood for a very long time.
“Frak,” Bill mumbled, walking over to Tigh. “How the frak is this possible? How are they doing this, Saul? Right under our noses? They’ve managed to endanger so many lives, important ones too. They’ve managed to move civilians, take over a ship and all of that without us realizing a thing before it was too late.”
“You gots me, Bill, these frakkers must be clever. I’ve got a few marines sorted for the meeting tomorrow. You know, for when whoever it is arrives. Everybody that was in the brig has been moved to other cells for the time being. Did you tell the President?”
Bill clenched his jaw and he felt his temper rise again. “No.” He looked up at the dradis console. “Somebody is out there messing with us. I’m going to put a frakking stop to this.”
Tigh watched as he balled his hand up into a fist. “Bill,” he mumbled. “Are you ok? Is Apollo ok?”
“Fine. Yes…I want a report from every ship in the fleet.”
“Containing what, sir?” Gaeta said, moving over to his terminal.
“I want reports on movements, unusual events, supplies going missing. Anything out of the ordinary.” He turned to Tigh. “They have to be using things, don’t they?”
Tigh nodded. “We’re going to get these sons of bitches.”
“We have to,” Bill said, staring out across the CIC. When he realised that Tigh was still staring at him he turned around. “I’m going to my quarters, I’ll be back in 15.”
Tigh nodded his head and watched as Bill slumped out of the CIC, his fists still curled up into a ball. If he knew rightly, Bill was in a very foul mood and needed to vent.
As Bill walked hastily along the corridors of Galactica he could feel his temper eating him up on the inside, clawing to escape and lash out at the nearest person. The combination of stress, worry, anger and sadness were mixing and roiling around inside of him, topping off the anger that was in his chest. It was horrible. It felt as if someone was standing on either side and pushing against his body, compressing him, forcing everything in there to rise to the surface. Laura, Lee, Kara and the fleet…he closed his eyes and carried on, ploughing forward, determined to get to his quarters.
When his hand finally touched the hatch to his home he felt his chest heave and he took in a sharp intake of breath. The hatch swung open and he closed it behind him. As soon as he entered he walked over to his desk and sat heavily in his chair, taking out the ambrosia and pouring it into his glass. He swirled it around and watched it, then deciding against it, he placed the glass down on the table.
“Frak,” he whispered, putting his head in his hands.
Everything. All of it. Screwed. It was all getting to him. Laura might die and he hadn’t done anything. Instead of listening, he had stormed out on her, leaving her alone. Leaving her alone in the sickbay. Lee and Kara, Helo, the fleet and his responsibilities. Nothing was going right and everything he had been feeling had accumulated inside him and it was all struggling to erupt at once. He put his face into his hands and tried to breath, letting the steam out slowly.
After a few moments he stood up and began pacing the length of his quarters, thinking about everything- thinking about nothing.
Fear.
Pain.
Worry.
Anger.
Love.
Hate.
Jealousy.
Pain.
Love.
All of it coursing through his veins, overwhelming him, making him feel small. This was all the doing of someone out there. Someone who wanted Laura dead, someone that had tried to kill his son- his son. He balled his hand into a fist again and tapped his hand against the metal bulkhead.
Crash.
In one long aggressive movement, Bill had knocked one of the nearby lamps over. Not satisfied by this he pushed over some more objects, sending them sprawling to the floor. He wanted to scream loudly and expel all of the negativity inside of him. Time was critical and it was running out. When he turned to look at his desk he knocked a pile of papers to the floor and then slumped back into his chair. He slammed his hand down onto his desk and then rested his head in his hands.
After a few minutes of steady breathing he felt his body and his temper cooling. It always amazed him how quickly he was able to pull himself from an angry slump, having needed to do it a few times since the fleet started its race for survival. When he raised his head he looked around at the mess and shook his head. When he bent down to start picking the scattered items up, he heard his phone buzz and he stood , placing pieces of the broken lamp into the bin.
“Admiral Adama,” he mumbled down the phone, still looking at the mess. “Tell Cottle that I’m sorry I wasn’t in CIC. I’ll be down to the sickbay in a few moments.” Bill hung up the phone and then walked to the hatch. He decided that he would clean it up later. Now, his son and Starbuck were priority.
---
Laura lay still in her bed, wiping at her eyes as she cried silently. Although she had a genuine reason for feeling this way, she still felt her emotions were all over the place, and it was a bit annoying. It was horrible being alone in such a dreadful place. She had never been one to enjoy spending time in the sickbay, surrounded by silence and the occasional mutter from the grumpy doctor. It was also strange to be here for so long, and although the longest she had ever been in this room was when she was about to die, she was in such a state that she slept through most of it. Unfortunately, she couldn’t sleep now, as much as she wanted to.
Another beep went off and she felt her skin crawl as she felt her patience wane. She was alone in this place with a constant annoyance. Billy was off doing errands, having been to visit her earlier on. The medics and doctors were all busy, there was nobody around to talk to, to break the monotony. It was her and the machines. Company would ease her desire to escape, just someone to talk to her and keep here from going mad. She hadn’t been ready for Bill’s sudden departure, and now she was paying for it.
Another beep.
Doctor Cottle said he would be back soon to give her some sleep medication so she could rest until the morning, but she wasn’t having it. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to sleep- Gods how she wanted to- she just couldn’t handle being in this room any longer.
When she peered out of the small gap in the curtain she could make out Starbuck looking hazily around the room, her face blank and dreamlike, obviously just waking up. If that was the case then Cottle would have just gone to let Bill know, which meant he would be back soon. Alone or not, she didn’t think she could handle his anger just yet. She had to give him a bit of time to cool down so she could explain herself properly, make him see that she really did need him and that she was only trying to protect him and his feelings.
She clambered out of her bed and pulled her clothes from the small bag on the floor beside her bed. Billy had fetched her clothing so that she had something fresh to change into when she was discharged. As always, Billy was on top of things. She pulled on her skirt and then unfolded her white blouse, wrapping it around her body, quickly doing it up, the chill of the sickbay prickling her bare flesh. The clothing smelled so clean and fresh and she briefly pushed her nose into her black jacket, inhaling the flowery smell that emanated from it. Then, hearing muttering outside, she pulled on her shoes. She picked up her bag and opened the curtains quietly.
“Madam President?” Starbuck croaked, peering over to her from her bed. She could make out the blotchiness under Laura’s eyes, as if she’d been crying, and it unnerved the younger woman. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you, Lieutenant Thrace. How are you feeling?”
“Oh you know, like I’m drugged to the gills and somebody has scraped my windpipe out with a frakking chisel. Other than that, I feel just dandy.”
“I’m glad to hear it. We were worried that something might have happened to you.” Laura edged towards Cottle’s office, wanting to get out as fast as she could.
“We?”
“Well, yes, everybody.”
Starbuck sensed a myriad of feelings coming from the president. Sadness, pain, worry and uncertainty were coming off of her like a bad smell. Her eyes, watering in the dim light of the sickbay, the red rings around them signalling that she’d been crying and her slightly nervous disposition were an unusual sight for Starbuck. Laura Roslin kept herself as strong as possible, she‘d heard that from the old man himself, but at the moment, the President looked as if she was going to crumble where she stood. It must be terrible to be so unsure about your own mortality. “We’ll get them, you know, Madam President. The old man won’t give up.”
Laura felt her eyes burn and she nodded her head, giving a false smile. “I have to go wait in Doctor Cottle’s office now. I wish you a speedy recovery,” she said quietly before walking quickly into Cottle’s office and closing the door. As she took a seat, she wiped her face and leaned forward to put her shoes on. She really couldn’t stay here much longer.
Moments later she heard Cottle enter and then exclaim over her absence from the bed. The door handle creaked and she waited for him to enter.
“Frakking woman has done a runn-”
“I haven’t gone anywhere, actually, Doctor.”
Cottle looked at her and closed the door behind her. “Please tell me why you are dressed and not in your bed.”
“I don’t want to be here. I want to go back to my quarters.”
“You look here-”
“Please, Jack,” she pleaded. “I’d rather go back to my quarters and rest there. I will take the pills, believe me I will. I just don’t want to be here anymore.”
Cottle eyed her up suspiciously, noting her facial expression and voice tone. She wasn’t a happy woman. Far be it for him to keep here, especially if it wasn’t doing her any good. As long as she kept up with her sleep, it wouldn’t be a problem for her to leave. He sat slowly behind his desk. “On your head be it. You still have the sleeping pills I gave you right?”
“I do, yes.”
“Go to your room. Take two of them and get some frakking rest, will you!”
Laura nodded and smiled, totally appreciative of his actions. “Thank you. I’ll be back here tomorrow to see you.”
“Laura. Please, do yourself a favour and take care of yourself. You need to realise that you are the most important person at the moment. Really. You are an incredible woman, you’ve faced death head on and came out on top. Your body can’t keep pulling stunts like that, you know. Just think.”
Laura, who had walked over to the door, turned around to look at the Doctor. He wasn’t a stupid man, in fact he probably noticed things that other people didn’t. She knew what he was on about, but it wasn’t how she worked. “I’ll do my best.”
“You better,” Jack mumbled before pulling a clean packet of cigarettes from his draw.
With that, Laura made her way as quickly as she could. Her guard, who had been waiting outside, followed her as she walked to her room.
----
Bill walked quickly down to the sickbay, his feet stomping heavily across the metal floor. They were awake and he was glad to hear from the Doc that they were doing ok. It was a relief for him, a weight lifted off of his shoulders, making him feel so relieved.
When he finally got to the sickbay, he could clearly see Starbuck and Lee talking from bed to bed, their bodies animated and their faces covered with smiles. Bill had already been warned that they may seem very ‘childlike’ for a while, until the drugs wore off, but that didn’t matter to Bill, he was glad they were alive.
“I wondered when you were going to show up,” Starbuck joked, sitting up in the bed, pulling the covers closer around her. “Me and Lee were starting to get a bit bored.”
“Yeah, speak for yourself. I was trying to sleep but she kept throwing things at me.” Lee shouted, laughing and picking up pieces of paper and card from off of his bed.
Bill smiled, relief washing over him as he watched the pair banter in front of him like usual. They were ok. He walked over to the seat that was between the two beds and, before he sat down, he leaned over to Lee and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry.”
Lee pulled away. “What for?”
“I’m sorry, both of you. It’s my fault that you were down there. I didn’t realise we were being played.”
“It’s our job,” Starbuck said, wrapping her arms around him as he gave her a warm and meaningful hug.
Bill nodded slowly and then sat down. “Are you feeling ok?”
“I was just going to ask you the same question. The old man’s getting soft, Lee.” Starbuck threw something over at Lee and then pulled the covers tighter around her.
“Cut me some slack, guys. We thought you were going to die.” Bill looked at the both of them. “Seriously though, you feel ok?”
“Yeah. A bit sore here and there, but we’re fine.” Lee picked up the bit of paper that Starbuck had thrown at him and then dropped it to the floor.
“You’re awake for little over ten minutes and you’re already messing up my sickbay,” Cottle snapped, exiting his office with a load of papers and sheets. “Knock it off. I’m not your personal maid.”
Lee just grinned and the nodded his head. “So, Doc, what’s the situation?”
“I was just about to explain, actually,” he said, walking over to the beds. “The smoke that you were stuck in is made of fine organic substances. When they react under warm, moist environments it thickens into a gel. This is mighty dandy when the human body is like a moist oven. So, there you are, walking in this smoke and then, bam, your lungs begin filling up with goo. It’s probably designed to suffocate people, and it nearly did that! You’re both lucky. My guesses are that you must have passed out and then landed near an air duct or something.”
“So, this goo, is it still there? I mean, will it cause any problems?” Lee said, peering over at Starbuck.
“No. It’s a very clever chemical I must say. It breaks down into your basic compounds like carbon dioxide, oxygen and water. Another of my guesses is that after a short period of time, especially after it has suffocated the host, it breaks down, so it’s gone like it was never there. Clever bit of chemistry. Hopefully you’ll be fit and ready to leave soon enough, you two argue and bicker like nobody I have ever met!”
Bill smiled and looked at the pair of them. “Thanks, Jack.”
“It’s my job. Now, if you excuse me, I have to be somewhere,” he puffed on his cigarette and then exited the sickbay.
“I’ll need your reports from this. We need to start tightening up on security and everything at the moment. It’s getting ridiculous. Starbuck, you know I asked you to look over video footage for me? Did you find anything?”
“No. Nothing out of the ordinary. I’m still stumped as to how the President got ill. Nothing suspicious at all. I checked practically everything and I couldn’t see anything. Nobody out of the ordinary. I even asked Gaeta to check the raptors that went to and from Colonial One. Nothing. It’s like the illness just appeared or something.”
“I feared that.” Bill sighed and leaned back into his chair, exhausted from the days events. “I want you two to rest as much as you can while you’re here. We’re going to need everybody as fit as possible over the next few days. We need to be on top of things so we can find the frakkers who are doing this to the fleet.”
“Yes, sir!” Starbuck chimed, laying back down. “Although, I think that we need a new cook, I could smell the food cart earlier, and Gods, I thought I was going to be sick.”
Bill laughed and gazed around the room. His eyes landed on the empty bed of Laura Roslin and his face crumpled up in confusion. “Where’s the President?”
“She left just before you came,” Starbuck mumbled, pulling a leaflet from the side of the bed.
“I don’t think she likes it in here.”
Bill nodded his head, remembering the time she was in here when she had recovered from her cancer and how, after getting over the exhaustion, she had been climbing the walls. “It’s not a pleasant place.”
Starbuck peered up from her aimless reading and watched as Bill gazed off into the distance.
“Sir?”
“Hmm?”
“She looked a bit upset. She’s ok, isn’t she?”
Bill shrugged his shoulders and stood up, not wanting to talk about her at the moment. “I have to go. Paperwork to do. You better behave, and I want you resting so that you can come back to the job, ok?”
Lee looked at him suspiciously and then turned to Starbuck, who was mirroring his confusion. “Yes, sir. We should be out of here soon enough.”
“GOOD!” Cottle grumbled as he walked back into his office.
Starbuck started laughing. “You can count on us, sir!”
Bill smiled lightly and then nodded his head. “I’ll come see how you are doing tomorrow.” He turned and walked out of the sickbay and down to towards his quarters.
---
Laura had been sat in her room for an hour or so and she was feeling a little edgy. She still hadn’t heard from Bill and she was desperate to apologise to him and make him realise what her intentions had been. It was nearly 8pm and she didn’t want to go too late, having promised the Doctor that she was indeed going to do as she was told this time.
The book that Tom Zarek had brought to her earlier on lay on her table, closed , the front few pages crumpled from where they had been dropped, stood on and tucked away. Billy had picked them up as she had been taken to the sickbay by Bill, and had kept them on his person until she wanted them back. This she was thankful for. If Tom’s and her own suspicions were correct, then this book would offer them a lot of answers. She wanted to read it, but she had said to Bill that they were to read it together, and although he was still absent, she had to know what was in there. She couldn’t dare risk reading it and then him getting even more annoyed with her.
She pulled her jacket around her body and pulled on the hatch. Quickly and quietly, she walked along the passageway towards Bill’s quarters, the book in her hand and a sorry look on her face. The guards followed her, as they always did and she nodded and smiled at them all as they watched her and her surroundings.
When she came face to face with Bill’s hatch she went to reach for it, but as her hand went to touch the cool metal surface she watched as it moved, Bill walking out of it, his head lowered.
“I think we need to talk, Admiral,” she said calmly, watching him as he eyed her carefully.
His forehead creasing and his mouth narrowing. “I’m actually busy at the moment, Madam President. If you’d like to come back later.” Bill moved to one side, getting ready to continue his walk to his new destination.
Laura pushed the book up into his face and stepped in front of him. “I think this is important, don’t you?”
Bill analysed her features. There was something there behind her eyes that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. They were focused on nothing else but him and he knew she had something to say. More then what she was letting on. “Step inside, Madam President.”
Laura lowered her hand and nodded her head to her guard. The warmth of Bill’s quarters knocked her back slightly as she walked through the hatch, the book firmly in her grasp. When her eyes fell to his desk, she noted the glass of ambrosia and the mess on the floor. There was a broken lamp, a pile of papers on the floor and a smashed corner table lying on its side. Totally unsure of what to say to this, puzzled by what it could mean, she turned to him. “Bill, look-”
“You came here to talk about the book?” Bill turned to her slightly, his facial expression blank and his gaze dull.
“Well, I thought we could go through it, like you suggested. I’d also like to-”
“Take a seat.” Bill sat behind his desk and moved the bottle out of his line of sight, looking briefly at Laura as she took a seat. “Which part shall we start at?”
Laura bowed her head and placed the book onto the table, opening it to a random page. “How about we start from the beginning.”
“Ok.”
It took her a few moments to think of what to say. She did want to talk about the book, but the atmosphere was awkward, politeness was forced and it just wasn’t natural between them. Things had to be said and she thought it the ideal time for that to happen. They were both calm and in a quiet and private environment. She gazed at the book, and then to Bill’s stoic expression. It was time for her to explain. “It starts at the beginning with a woman that’s scared because she comes to find out that she is going to die, the second time in the space of a few months. Somebody amidst the masses of people outside in the fleet is a person that has done this to her, subjected her to what was coursing through her veins.” Laura closed the book and moved it to one side, leaning closer towards Bill. “When she’s at her lowest, her walls crumbling and her soul cracking, she finds comfort with the man that she trusts with her life. He’s a military man who she has grown very fond of over the space of time that they had known each other. Very fond of.” Laura could feel tears begin to fill her eyes, but determination was now coursing inside of her, edging her on.
Bill looked up from his hands to her face, seeing the emotion behind her eyes. At first he had been confused, but that had washed away when he realised that she was talking about herself. “Laura-”
“She breaks down. The tears and the sobs making her body tremble as she releases all of her pent up fears and worries. This man stays, holds her close and comforts her. She feels safe with him and he helps her release all of her bottled-up emotions. The warmth, the compassion and the trust help her sleep peacefully in his arms. Then, the pain starts. At first she thinks it’s because she has slept awkwardly but it doesn’t go away. Fear and worry crush her on the inside as she feels herself getting worse.”
Bill watched as she rubbed the stray tears from her eyes, his heart breaking at the sight of her in such a state. “You don’t have to do this,” Bill said quietly.
Laura shook her head. “I have to explain this to you. Bill, please, just listen,” she said shakily, resting her hands onto the desk. “In the early hours of the morning she makes a conscious decision that she knows will effect her in a very big way, but it has to be done. She can no longer subject the people around her to heartbreak and pain. The people she loves mean so much more to her than she had first realised, having witnessed them feel pain before and finding it heartbreaking to see. This man, her comfort, her rock, has been so loyally by her side for a long time, watching over her and keeping her safe to a point that she could never fully thank him. So, she has to start somewhere. She decides that she must distance herself from him so that it’s easier for him when she dies.” Laura raised her hand to her mouth and paused for a second, letting a few more stray tears fall down her face.
Bill stood up and walked over to the other side of his desk and pulled her to her feet. “Stop, please.”
Laura shook her head and stepped back a little. “I just need to explain myself, Bill. I need to apologise, but for that I need you to listen.”
Bill could see the persistence in her eyes, so he nodded his head and watched as she wiped her eyes.
“Something terrible happens. This man’s son is in mortal danger and she worries for his safety. She worries for this man because he has already been hurt so many times before and it really does hurt her when she sees him like that. She stays by his side and ignores the pain that has started in her stomach because she wants to be there for him if something happens, the way he is for her. She pushes herself through it, determined to see it through to the end. It backfires on her though and she ends up in the sickbay. Rather then telling him that she was doing it for him she says something that she doesn’t mean, something out of context and it makes him mad…” Laura steadies herself. “Then he-”
Bill walked over to her and put his arms around her.
“T-th-then he walks out on her, and she feels so alone.” Laura lifted her head up from his chest. “I am so sorry, Bill, really. I was only doing it for you. I couldn’t bear seeing you hurt. I just want you to be happy.”
Bill wrapped his arms tighter around her. “Laura, I need you to understand. I’m happy when you’re with me. Do you know what will make me even happier?”
Laura sniffed and shook her head, wiping her eyes.
“You being better. I want to be with you every step of the way through this and I want you to promise me that you will tell me everything.”
“I will from now on. I just- oh I don’t know. I was being silly.”
“You had good intentions, and I’m sorry that I walked out on you, I really am, I just couldn’t deal with it, after everything. Just don‘t worry about me. You are the priority.”
Laura nodded and laid her forehead against his chest, inhaling his aftershave. “I understand.”
After a few moments she lifted her head and looked up at him, catching his glistening eyes under the dim light of his quarters.
“You don’t understand how much you mean to me, you know. I’m not going to give up. We’re going to get through this.”
Laura smiled. “We’re?”
“It’s been a long time since it hasn’t been the two of us.” Bill ran his fingers through her hair, moving it out of her face.
“I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”
“You were just you, and that’s what I’ve always loved.”
“I thought I was a thorn in your side.”
“Oh, you are far from that.” Bill grinned and wiped away the drying tears from her face. He stood, watching her smiling up at him, enjoying the beaming grin that was resonating from her mouth. She was so beautiful. Without thinking much about it, he leaned forward and planted his lips onto hers, feeling the warmth of her mouth on his. It was like heaven.
Laura could feel his warm lips enveloping hers in a soft and gentle manner and she couldn’t help but respond, wrapping her arms around his neck as she returned the deepening kiss. It was tender, sweet, everything she had ever thought it would be. So much more than the time he had pecked her on the lips, but the sentiment was the same. This time, however, it was just that bit further. She moved her hands to the sides of his face, feeling the smooth skin there, wanting to remember everything about this so that she would have something to treasure when it was over, because she knew it would end.
Bill gently ran his tongue over her lips and pulled her closer to his body. He was disappointed when she pulled away, resting her forehead against his, breathing heavily against his face. “I can’t do this Bill- we can’t do this.”
Bill closed his eyes. It was selfish of him to want her so much when he knew that they couldn’t get involved like this- not when they were leading a civilization of people- but he couldn’t help it. He loved her as a woman and he wanted her as a companion. “Is it wrong for me to think that we can?”
“No, it’s not,” she whispered resting her forehead now against his chin. “It’s not even that, Bill. We shouldn’t do it, and I’ve always said that it wouldn’t happen, but times can change, perspectives alter. People can get selfish.”
Bill kissed the top of her head. “Well, which is it then?”
Laura closed her eyes, feeling his warm breath on her scalp. “Let’s not start something that we might not be able to finish.”
“What’s going to stop us?” Bill said, completely puzzled.
“Death, Bill. Death can stop us.”
And with that, Bill wrapped her into a tighter embrace, not wanting to let her go. She was right, it could, but he’d already said it before, he was going to fix it. He was going to find the frakker that was doing this to all of them and make sure she survived.