Welcome to the World of Tomorrow
I know I don't post here much anymore but I figure this is a good place to dump out some of the stuff running around in my head.
first and formost the year end checklist:
Clayton's 2010 New Year Resolutions:
1. Lose the rest of last years 75lbs. (failed +25lbs)
2. Finish School with my degrees (AA and BS) (Got my AA)
3. Find a Job (Failed)
4. Find a Home (Failed)
5. Get back in the habit of creating things. (least I managed this one)
so basically I only got 1 & 1/2 done over a year. Kinda sad I had all these high hopes for what I'd be doing over this year, most of what I did was sit on my ass and be unproductive. I don't have a job, I don't have a stable income, I'm a semester from graduating with no real marketable skill. I'm heavier then I was this time last year, I'm not doing as well mentally or emotionally. I'm generally unhappy where I am and unable to change it for the most part.
I can't see my friends when I want, I don't fit into anyone's life the way I'd like, I'm alone and frustrated to no end. It's rare that I see anything in my life that I really like and want to keep. Short of the few friends I desperately try to keep in contact with I'm adrift in the world with nothing and no one.
Living with family is slowly driving me insane again, I love them dearly but I need to be away from them. I don't have a steady job, and most my work is unavailable to view thanks to contracts or failed projects. I didn't get my game out, I didn't get my life in order, I'm failing at getting started in my profession, I don't have even a hint at a romantic relation in my future, I'm fat, ugly, and depressed and can only spend my days trying hard to forget that.
Generally I think I've been spending to much time in my own head. It's rather like the way I was in high school, living my life in my fantasy rather then stepping up in my life and making it a reality. I know my faults are my own, I know I got to work to earn it, and I know nothing comes without a price but damn it if there isn't a way to get what I want.
That's life, nothing is ever nice, nothing gold can last.
Clayton's 2011 Resolutions:
1. Try to get in shape (lose the excess baggage)
2. Finish School. (Paper in hand)
3. Find a job somewhere I want to live.
4. Keep in contact with the friends I have.
5. Try to be a happier person.
first and formost the year end checklist:
Clayton's 2010 New Year Resolutions:
1. Lose the rest of last years 75lbs. (failed +25lbs)
2. Finish School with my degrees (AA and BS) (Got my AA)
3. Find a Job (Failed)
4. Find a Home (Failed)
5. Get back in the habit of creating things. (least I managed this one)
so basically I only got 1 & 1/2 done over a year. Kinda sad I had all these high hopes for what I'd be doing over this year, most of what I did was sit on my ass and be unproductive. I don't have a job, I don't have a stable income, I'm a semester from graduating with no real marketable skill. I'm heavier then I was this time last year, I'm not doing as well mentally or emotionally. I'm generally unhappy where I am and unable to change it for the most part.
I can't see my friends when I want, I don't fit into anyone's life the way I'd like, I'm alone and frustrated to no end. It's rare that I see anything in my life that I really like and want to keep. Short of the few friends I desperately try to keep in contact with I'm adrift in the world with nothing and no one.
Living with family is slowly driving me insane again, I love them dearly but I need to be away from them. I don't have a steady job, and most my work is unavailable to view thanks to contracts or failed projects. I didn't get my game out, I didn't get my life in order, I'm failing at getting started in my profession, I don't have even a hint at a romantic relation in my future, I'm fat, ugly, and depressed and can only spend my days trying hard to forget that.
Generally I think I've been spending to much time in my own head. It's rather like the way I was in high school, living my life in my fantasy rather then stepping up in my life and making it a reality. I know my faults are my own, I know I got to work to earn it, and I know nothing comes without a price but damn it if there isn't a way to get what I want.
That's life, nothing is ever nice, nothing gold can last.
Clayton's 2011 Resolutions:
1. Try to get in shape (lose the excess baggage)
2. Finish School. (Paper in hand)
3. Find a job somewhere I want to live.
4. Keep in contact with the friends I have.
5. Try to be a happier person.