first down -- voice

[hellcommander]

Alright you motherfuckin' fairytale bastards.

I want an explanation, now, and I want it to be fucking good.

One second I'm at fuckin' school? Now I'm in a goddamn Disney movie! Fuck this. And this house I got assigned to, it's like something out of fucking year 2500, kekekeke! ... I hear water.

[the sound of a door opening, and the sound of

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[trollsbackwards]

OH GOOD.
NOW SOMEONE WON'T BE KICKING ME IN THE GODDAMN BULGE OVER SOMETHING SO MENIAL LIKE FUCKING LANGUAGE.

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[hellcommander]

Someone gave you shit about a few dirty wordies too, huh? Bullshit, I say. Just words.

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[trollsbackwards]

A HUMAN THAT FINALLY UNDERSTANDS THAT FUCKING CONCEPT.
YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY GRUBFUCKING BULGEWAFFLES AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THE USE OF A WORD AROUND HERE OBVIOUSLY INDICATES A MOOD OR INTENTION TOWARDS THEM.
ACTUALLY, YEAH, I BET YOU DO.
GO FUCKING FIGURE.

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[hellcommander]

GRUBFUCKING BULGEWAFFLES!! That's brilliant. You are brilliant.

I do. People take things way too fuckin seriously.

Now, you say "human". Are you not human then???

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[trollsbackwards]

OF COURSE I AM.
INSULTING AND TROLLING POOR, MINDLESS FUCKSTICKS IS WHAT I HAPPEN TO SPECIALIZE IN!!
AND AS FOR YOUR OTHER QUESTION -

[ yeah, he's learned to like this BECAUSE OF REACTIONS, MAN! ]

Like hell I am a lowly fucking human.

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[hellcommander]

I think you and me are kindred spirits, fuckin' troll.

[Hiruma switches to video, too. Here Karkat, have a human unlike any other you've ever seen. If he had grey skin and horns, he could easily pass for a troll. But he doesn't look too surprised. Of course, inside? he totally is. What the hell man, so weird! But Hiruma is nothing if not completely in control of his own facial expressions. He grins, showing a mouthful of shark teeth]

Ahhh~! HumanOID at least. That is to say, fuckin' bipedal with four limbs and bilateral symmetry. Kekekeke!! Then again, I suppose saying "humanoid" is sort of speciesist in it's own way!

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[trollsbackwards]

[ oh he likes! but dude... definitely not like a human he's had the displeasure or otherwise of seeing before. ]

It definitely denotes superiority that doesn't fucking have the right to exist as far as I am concerned. Now who the hell are you?

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[hellcommander]

[Hiruma leans back in his chair with a grin on his face]

I assume it's mostly a factor of ignorance; where I'm from, humans are the only sentient species! And we're pretty fucking cocky, to boot. Guess that's what happens!! Kekeke! Me? I'm Hiruma Youichi, former quarterback and captain of the all-star Deimon Devilbats! Now, apparently, Fairy Tale Land Refugee.

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[trollsbackwards]

Yeah, yeah. Humans and Earth, I know. The species is not capable of goddamn interstellar travel so naturally the nooksuckers believe they are the only things out there with the brain capacity to male a shitty civilization. Dumbest fucking thing I have ever read and observed, really. Kind of like half of what you said, considering I have never heard of what a quarterback is, unless it means that your spine is decorated with those silver bits of what you shitstains consider to be a functional monetary unit. Doubtful, since I happen to reside with a human that insists on sleeping with his goddamn shirt off and thus exposing my sensitive eyes to his pasty white flesh

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[hellcommander]

A quarterback is a position in the fine sport of American football! Kekekeke! Sucks to be you, I guess. Maybe you should tranq him and put him in a tanning booth for a few hours. Then he'll be red.

Trolls, huh. Well, it's good that ya don't fuckin' live under bridges. They're not really proper residences.

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[trollsbackwards]

Can't it be another fucking color other than bright shitty red!?

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[hellcommander]

Nope! Human blood is iron-based, and iron is red in the bloodstream for some goddamn reason. But hey, it gets darker the longer it sits out, kekeke! Not a fan of red? It's my favorite color.

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[trollsbackwards]

Yeah, no. It doesn't fucking work like that with us. Bright red doesn't even exist as a blood color. It can be anywhere from goddamn rust red to a vibrant red violet.

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[hellcommander]

[his interest is piqued] Your species has different colors of blood? How's THAT work?

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[trollsbackwards]

How does having a singular blood color even fucking work? It just does!

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[hellcommander]

Kekekeke! That's real interestin', though. But no, s'far as I know, all the fuckin' vertebrates on Earth have red blood.