(no subject)
this really sucks.
last night, in my incredibly horrendous "i dont know what to do with myself" mood, i decided that i just do not give a fuck any longer.
my day started off with me reluctantlty waking up for my 915 class after a super late night. on the way up the stairs in the building, i fell and slammed my knee into the cement. this is typical for me - my knees have been known to break my falls. i limped to class and decided to ignore the omen.
i went to both of my classes today. also, i stopped by the general store for some cigarettes and a pack of gum. i wanted a magazine but none of them interested me.
i wandered around campus. smoking. muttering lyrics under my breath. i was telling giselle that i'm starting to warm up to the cold. it suits my mood all too well.
i went to the library, i sat down, and then i left the library as quickly as i had come. i laid down on the dead grass in the middle of the quad but i decided that my thoughts aren't pleasant enough to wallow in these days. so i got up and walked around. muttering more lyrics. wasting time till my next class. i considered skipping it but i had nothing better to do. so i didn't.
came back to the room. bought a webcam on ebay...i figured i could use that as an entertaining way to pass the time since i'm so bored these days. i was actually feeling tired so i laid down to take a nap, but i had like a 5 minute dream and woke up realizing that it wasn't real, and then got sad.
that's the thing about my dreams lately. i hate going to sleep because i have such great dreams and i end up waking up, only to find out that it's not true. and i'm disappointed.
i hate being disappointed.
and i cant' find anything to do to keep my mind from wandering. i really really dont want my mind to wander right now.
but i still dont give a fuck.
last night, in my incredibly horrendous "i dont know what to do with myself" mood, i decided that i just do not give a fuck any longer.
my day started off with me reluctantlty waking up for my 915 class after a super late night. on the way up the stairs in the building, i fell and slammed my knee into the cement. this is typical for me - my knees have been known to break my falls. i limped to class and decided to ignore the omen.
i went to both of my classes today. also, i stopped by the general store for some cigarettes and a pack of gum. i wanted a magazine but none of them interested me.
i wandered around campus. smoking. muttering lyrics under my breath. i was telling giselle that i'm starting to warm up to the cold. it suits my mood all too well.
i went to the library, i sat down, and then i left the library as quickly as i had come. i laid down on the dead grass in the middle of the quad but i decided that my thoughts aren't pleasant enough to wallow in these days. so i got up and walked around. muttering more lyrics. wasting time till my next class. i considered skipping it but i had nothing better to do. so i didn't.
came back to the room. bought a webcam on ebay...i figured i could use that as an entertaining way to pass the time since i'm so bored these days. i was actually feeling tired so i laid down to take a nap, but i had like a 5 minute dream and woke up realizing that it wasn't real, and then got sad.
that's the thing about my dreams lately. i hate going to sleep because i have such great dreams and i end up waking up, only to find out that it's not true. and i'm disappointed.
i hate being disappointed.
and i cant' find anything to do to keep my mind from wandering. i really really dont want my mind to wander right now.
but i still dont give a fuck.