(no subject)
So it's Christmas. My favorite holiday.
Christmas this year came and went too fast. I couldn't enjoy the weeks leading up to it because I was locked in my room for an entire week where all I did was work. By the time I was able to relax and have fun with it, it was 3 days until Christmas. And now it's over.
I also feel like something was missing this year. I haven't been single on Christmas in pretty much 3 years. Senior year I was 'with' Ryan and the past 2 years I was with Shane. Yeah it was nice not to drop mad money on gifts but it just sucks sometimes to see all your friends...and both your brothers...be with the significant others. I kind of feel lonely.
Which now brings me to Chris. I really haven't found anything wrong with him in the past 2 months other than him getting slightly clingy. But that's changed and it could be fixed easily if it happens again. Other than that he's perfect. Every time I'm with him it feels so good. Out of all the guys I've hooked up with this past year, I've stopped talking to all of them. Most of the guys I hooked up with were nice, legit guys. I dicked them around...I'm not gonna lie. But Chris is different for some reason. It's awful to say this but I'm surprised I'm still talking to him. I'm not sure what that really means...
...which scares me. I know I like him. Last night I somehow got incredibly drunk and I don't remember the last half hour before I went to sleep. I woke up in the morning and read the texts that I sent him and they were the "Babe I miss you" "I like you so much" texts (not that they were in English because of my inability to text). I dont usually send those kinds of messages to him...or anyone for that matter. It's weird.
I'm not ready to be in another relationship. I'm afraid of them. I don't want to go through another breakup like I had last time. I know that's a terrible reason to not be with someone but it's true. I know he's not really ready for one either considering no one really knows about him. I get that he's afraid to tell people. I've been there so I respect it but I'm not going to date someone who can't tell their best friend about me.
It's very true. You meet someone when you're not looking for them.
I will say this...It's nice to have a guy make me feel good again. :)
Christmas this year came and went too fast. I couldn't enjoy the weeks leading up to it because I was locked in my room for an entire week where all I did was work. By the time I was able to relax and have fun with it, it was 3 days until Christmas. And now it's over.
I also feel like something was missing this year. I haven't been single on Christmas in pretty much 3 years. Senior year I was 'with' Ryan and the past 2 years I was with Shane. Yeah it was nice not to drop mad money on gifts but it just sucks sometimes to see all your friends...and both your brothers...be with the significant others. I kind of feel lonely.
Which now brings me to Chris. I really haven't found anything wrong with him in the past 2 months other than him getting slightly clingy. But that's changed and it could be fixed easily if it happens again. Other than that he's perfect. Every time I'm with him it feels so good. Out of all the guys I've hooked up with this past year, I've stopped talking to all of them. Most of the guys I hooked up with were nice, legit guys. I dicked them around...I'm not gonna lie. But Chris is different for some reason. It's awful to say this but I'm surprised I'm still talking to him. I'm not sure what that really means...
...which scares me. I know I like him. Last night I somehow got incredibly drunk and I don't remember the last half hour before I went to sleep. I woke up in the morning and read the texts that I sent him and they were the "Babe I miss you" "I like you so much" texts (not that they were in English because of my inability to text). I dont usually send those kinds of messages to him...or anyone for that matter. It's weird.
I'm not ready to be in another relationship. I'm afraid of them. I don't want to go through another breakup like I had last time. I know that's a terrible reason to not be with someone but it's true. I know he's not really ready for one either considering no one really knows about him. I get that he's afraid to tell people. I've been there so I respect it but I'm not going to date someone who can't tell their best friend about me.
It's very true. You meet someone when you're not looking for them.
I will say this...It's nice to have a guy make me feel good again. :)