Same Shit, Different Day
I just literally finished reading an article about author Hugh Howey and his support of fanfiction in his Wool universe and was all, "What a righteous dude!"
And I then saw a link to this come across Twitter not ten minutes later: The Bitch From Worldcon. And added another author to my list of "not worth my time or money."
Here’s the thing with "bitch", dudes. It’s gendered, no matter how you hard you try and convince everyone otherwise. Its use as a criticism, a slur, an insult, a an attack is directed at women for speaking their minds or just having the audacity to not give a fuck about what you. And when it's directed at men, it's being used to insult them by comparing them to women, calling them weak, calling them subordinate, calling them lesser.
Even using it as an alternate for complaining is gendered, because really, the kind of complaining that gets labeled as bitching is almost always the kind of complaining that women are accused of: nagging, complaining about things perceived to be unimportant or inconsequential or not worthy of your dudely attentions (especially when someone calls out your bullshit).
And yes, women use it. Women even use it among or against each other. But if you don’t get why that's different, why that has its own issues unrelated you, then you need to go do some homework. We're not doing it for you (and I know what you'll say to that, too.)
So yeah, if you're a man, when you call a woman a bitch, and do it repeatedly, you are making it not about her behavior, you are making it about her being a woman doing that behavior. You are fucking using a specific gendered term as a targeted gendered slur and I don’t care how many women come out back you up for it, you’re still being sexist, because you’re not just saying "I have a problem with this behavior," you’re saying "I have a problem with a woman acting this way."
(And no, "But that’s not how I meant it!" doesn’t cover your ass. Friendship is magic. Intent isn’t.)
You want to complain about a woman's behavior? You say she was inappropriate, she was a jerk, she’s a loser, she was out of line, even that she was an asshole, if you need to classic elegance of a dirty word.
But no. You have to call her a bitch. You have to make it about her being a woman, not being an asshole. You really say, "How dare this WOMAN act out of line."
But even that's not enough. Sometimes you can't just let bitch be your last word on the subject. You just have to act it out, you have to use your shithead version of interpretive dance to remind us of what's behind that word, that your issue is with our gender (whether you intend it, or even realize it). You call us crazy, you perform sexually aggressive posturing to try and intimidate us, and fantasize about publicly humiliating us. You do every possible thing to not just say we're wrong, but "YOU'RE A WOMAN AND YOU'RE WRONG AND STUPID AND HAHAHAHAHA."
And when women point this out? When we call out this shit coming out of your mouth?
You know what you'll say.
"Bitch."
And I then saw a link to this come across Twitter not ten minutes later: The Bitch From Worldcon. And added another author to my list of "not worth my time or money."
Here’s the thing with "bitch", dudes. It’s gendered, no matter how you hard you try and convince everyone otherwise. Its use as a criticism, a slur, an insult, a an attack is directed at women for speaking their minds or just having the audacity to not give a fuck about what you. And when it's directed at men, it's being used to insult them by comparing them to women, calling them weak, calling them subordinate, calling them lesser.
Even using it as an alternate for complaining is gendered, because really, the kind of complaining that gets labeled as bitching is almost always the kind of complaining that women are accused of: nagging, complaining about things perceived to be unimportant or inconsequential or not worthy of your dudely attentions (especially when someone calls out your bullshit).
And yes, women use it. Women even use it among or against each other. But if you don’t get why that's different, why that has its own issues unrelated you, then you need to go do some homework. We're not doing it for you (and I know what you'll say to that, too.)
So yeah, if you're a man, when you call a woman a bitch, and do it repeatedly, you are making it not about her behavior, you are making it about her being a woman doing that behavior. You are fucking using a specific gendered term as a targeted gendered slur and I don’t care how many women come out back you up for it, you’re still being sexist, because you’re not just saying "I have a problem with this behavior," you’re saying "I have a problem with a woman acting this way."
(And no, "But that’s not how I meant it!" doesn’t cover your ass. Friendship is magic. Intent isn’t.)
You want to complain about a woman's behavior? You say she was inappropriate, she was a jerk, she’s a loser, she was out of line, even that she was an asshole, if you need to classic elegance of a dirty word.
But no. You have to call her a bitch. You have to make it about her being a woman, not being an asshole. You really say, "How dare this WOMAN act out of line."
But even that's not enough. Sometimes you can't just let bitch be your last word on the subject. You just have to act it out, you have to use your shithead version of interpretive dance to remind us of what's behind that word, that your issue is with our gender (whether you intend it, or even realize it). You call us crazy, you perform sexually aggressive posturing to try and intimidate us, and fantasize about publicly humiliating us. You do every possible thing to not just say we're wrong, but "YOU'RE A WOMAN AND YOU'RE WRONG AND STUPID AND HAHAHAHAHA."
And when women point this out? When we call out this shit coming out of your mouth?
You know what you'll say.
"Bitch."