Strings supporting...
I have been so content lately. Everything has been most pleasing. I mean I have been working a ridiculus amounts of hours lately i.e. 50+ hours a week, sometime 13 hours in one day. It has been really challenging, but good. I mean I miss a lot of my friends, but I feel like I have no time to hang out with my friends, but that is not the reason that I am writing this blog. Lately there are two things that have really pulled me down.
1. My walk with Christ
I feel like I have been in a plateau with Christ partly because of my job. I open Sundays and work at 4 in the morning on Mons. It makes it really hard to make it both to middle school and service. I do not understand how I am being challenged and what I as suppose to be learn from this job. I know that God IS challenging me in some way but it would encourage me to know. Secondly, Because I go to such a young church there are very few middle schoolers. I am at my end of wanting to serve for middle school. I am not sure that I am doing anything anymore and I do not know how to re-energize myself so that I have the fire and the zeal that I had at the beginning. Also, I want to be selfish and have the freedom to go to the service that I want to.
2. My relationship-well in some senses
Now do not get me wrong, I have adored where I am at in my relationship for the past couple months, it has been wonderful. but lately, i have been longing for more because of the situations of where all my high school friends are right now. Married. Pregnant. Grown-up. Commited. I feel like I have been skipped over in that area of my life. I mean I have a challengning but promising career, I am responsible, caring and truly in love. I have a degree. But yet, I feel like my next step is to get married but its not just happening for me and it is truly making me very sad. I know that this may sound ridiculus to some, but it is affecting me. I can tell that I am hot as happy go lucky in my relatioship right now...I miss that from before. I just want to have some direction...
Everyone else has a direction...everything seems to be coming together for some...and for me, i feel like it is falling apart.
1. My walk with Christ
I feel like I have been in a plateau with Christ partly because of my job. I open Sundays and work at 4 in the morning on Mons. It makes it really hard to make it both to middle school and service. I do not understand how I am being challenged and what I as suppose to be learn from this job. I know that God IS challenging me in some way but it would encourage me to know. Secondly, Because I go to such a young church there are very few middle schoolers. I am at my end of wanting to serve for middle school. I am not sure that I am doing anything anymore and I do not know how to re-energize myself so that I have the fire and the zeal that I had at the beginning. Also, I want to be selfish and have the freedom to go to the service that I want to.
2. My relationship-well in some senses
Now do not get me wrong, I have adored where I am at in my relationship for the past couple months, it has been wonderful. but lately, i have been longing for more because of the situations of where all my high school friends are right now. Married. Pregnant. Grown-up. Commited. I feel like I have been skipped over in that area of my life. I mean I have a challengning but promising career, I am responsible, caring and truly in love. I have a degree. But yet, I feel like my next step is to get married but its not just happening for me and it is truly making me very sad. I know that this may sound ridiculus to some, but it is affecting me. I can tell that I am hot as happy go lucky in my relatioship right now...I miss that from before. I just want to have some direction...
Everyone else has a direction...everything seems to be coming together for some...and for me, i feel like it is falling apart.