I got the horse right here
I feel like such a failure right now.
It's not a "I can't do anything" kind of sense of failure, either. It's worse. It's more like "I know I can do this, but I can't do it right now when everyone expects me to, and I'm letting everyone down" sort of thing.
I'm so tired.
Everyone keeps telling me to cheer up, etc., etc., and I know they mean well but I kind of want to hit them. Don't they think that I would be happy right now if I could? If it were that easy I would be on top of the world, but it's not. I'm trying to laugh, and I'm trying to smile, but I don't have the energy. I don't have the motivation. I'm stuck in a rut and I need help to get out, but saying "cheer up" is like waving down at me from above without a rope or anything to offer.
Someone actually had the nerve to tell me I was being ungrateful by being unhappy despite everyone's support. That only made me feel worse, because I know how much everyone cares about me and even though I'm not being sad on purpose I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
I feel like I have no one to go to; and it's not because I don't love and trust my friends. Either they're really happy and I don't want to bring them down, or they've got problems of their own and I don't want them worrying about me on top of it.
I'm still sick. There's been little to no change in the state of my throat, and now it's coupled with a pretty constant headache. I didn't go to class today and I probably won't go tomorrow.
I just got a text from Brittne about how someone with a crush on me is asking her about me. She started it off with "Sometimes I wonder why I'm your friend" so now I feel like an awful friend even though it's not my fault that someone likes me and is sneaking around trying to find out about me from her.
Damnit. Damnit, damnit, damnit.
It's not a "I can't do anything" kind of sense of failure, either. It's worse. It's more like "I know I can do this, but I can't do it right now when everyone expects me to, and I'm letting everyone down" sort of thing.
I'm so tired.
Everyone keeps telling me to cheer up, etc., etc., and I know they mean well but I kind of want to hit them. Don't they think that I would be happy right now if I could? If it were that easy I would be on top of the world, but it's not. I'm trying to laugh, and I'm trying to smile, but I don't have the energy. I don't have the motivation. I'm stuck in a rut and I need help to get out, but saying "cheer up" is like waving down at me from above without a rope or anything to offer.
Someone actually had the nerve to tell me I was being ungrateful by being unhappy despite everyone's support. That only made me feel worse, because I know how much everyone cares about me and even though I'm not being sad on purpose I feel like I'm doing something wrong.
I feel like I have no one to go to; and it's not because I don't love and trust my friends. Either they're really happy and I don't want to bring them down, or they've got problems of their own and I don't want them worrying about me on top of it.
I'm still sick. There's been little to no change in the state of my throat, and now it's coupled with a pretty constant headache. I didn't go to class today and I probably won't go tomorrow.
I just got a text from Brittne about how someone with a crush on me is asking her about me. She started it off with "Sometimes I wonder why I'm your friend" so now I feel like an awful friend even though it's not my fault that someone likes me and is sneaking around trying to find out about me from her.
Damnit. Damnit, damnit, damnit.