(no subject)
you know what its like to be unsure, right? am i kidding myself? of course you do...its you. me and you, i was always afraid of the latter leaving but when it starts to cross my mind more frequently, and not in such a bad light, does it mean i fear it as much as i had? i know im full of questions but ive never been at this point before. its not being left alone that scares me, its the fact that i could think about being left alone as an OK thing that freaks me out. im assuming its just an addition to the comfort level, knowing that when im gone nothing will change. that doesnt mean i want to be kept on my toes so i can retain my feelings, i guess it means that the games over and i can relax now. is it exciting enough for me? i hope so. looking back i think i almost enjoyed running around for the up keep. everythings in its place and im satisfied and theres no reason to not be content because i know if it were like it was before id be complaining and asking it to be the way it is now. im not fickle, i promise. even if i were sure that i had lost all feeling completely a hand on the cheek and a kiss on the forehead would stimulate my senses and start me up all over again. im sure of that. i definitely have more to anticipate and look foward to.