iWon’t
Originally published at spitkitten dot com. You can comment here or there.
I’ve had the same, basic conversation multiple times lately, all prompted by longing glances at friend’s and co-worker’s new iPhone.
Here’s an approximation of how they went:
“Are you going to get one?” they asked, looking up at me briefly, before hunching back over the glossy, sexy little thing and poking their fingers to launch some new app.
I decidedly shook my head no. “I’m waiting for a good competitor,” I said, politely.
They smiled at that. “You should get one.”
“Nah,” I replied.
“They’re so great,” they said.
This exchange went on in almost every instance until I would realize I had to reveal my dirty secret, else we’d be stuck in this loop forever. I never wanted to say this out loud, for lots of reasons-that it makes me an anomaly among my arty-minded pals and colleagues and that I can’t ever just leave it at the reveal, but am instead compelled to launch into a five minute rant that always leaves ‘em glassy-eyed.
“I don’t really like Macs,” I’d say. Then, like a car backing over a neighborhood puppy, I bowled over their look of shock, and started in.
It wasn’t usually this erudite or organized, but if it had been, this is how it would have sounded:
I don’t really like Macs. I do, however, love my Mac-using friends.
Airbooks are beautiful. I have a Shuffle my pop bought me as a gift. I drool over the iPhones. But I won’t buy one.
I won’t buy a Mac product again. I was suckered in early on by the first generation iPods, and that experience alone soured me entirely on the brand-and then all their subsequent advertising and marketing moments have done nothing but cement the fact that I don’t want one.
1. It’s a waste. IMHO, there is little-to-nothing green about creating hardware that relatively savvy consumers are trapped by. The best way to void your Mac warranty is to crack it open to change the battery, much less install new memory or increase its speed. Even a geek lite should be insulted.
2. Six months after you buy a Mac, your chances that your model is no longer being supported is at least 50%.
3. It’s often, at the point in which your Mac device starts acting wonky, cheaper for you to just buy a whole new device rather than repair or upgrade your current hardware, which is still wicked expensive. With non-Mac products, I could, hypothetically, upgrade my memory, processor, battery, and whatnot for peanuts.
4. You have to make a freaking appointment with a Mac “genius” at a local shop in order to get straight answers about a product, which usually include the words, “You could just buy the new generation of ___ Mac.” Thank you, genius.
5. Macs look nice. So? Two weeks of being lugged around in my bag, getting used, would make *any* pretty baby look rode hard and put away wet.
6. The marketing ploy that you only have two choices: a PC or a Mac, and PCs are for tight-assed corporate types, while Macs are for smart, cool, young, lefty, hipsters. I’m neither of those things, and don’t really care, anyway, what advertising tells me I should own based on my level of awesomeness. My favorite machine is a web book that runs Ubuntu Linux, Open Office, GIMPs, and all open source software.
7. Irritation over the myth that Macs are better for producing art/they have better graphics programs/etc. OK, maybe 15 years ago. But really now, all those programs have versions supported by most OS’s, including Linux (to which I am partial. In fact, there are plenty of really decent open source/shareware graphics programs out there these days)
8. Lord AT&T and his reign of terror over iPhoneland. Enough said.
9. Too bad, of all the apps iPhone users can download, they can’t get one that makes the phone part work correctly, well, or consistently.
10. iTunes. That horrible DRM-containing, proprietary file format the songs come in. The fact that you almost have to sacrifice your firstborn, even now, to transfer your library from one iPod to another.
11. Yeah, OK, PCs are vulnerable to viral attacks. Get antiviral software. There’s even good, freeware/shareware ones out there. Plus, it’s just overblown-I’ve used Windows based PCs at work, in huge corporate networks, for years, and I have not once had a virus attack. Then again, I don’t open questionable files, surf blindly, or click pop-ups.
So, there. I’m out now, publically. And until the day that a clone appears, suitably priced and with carrier choices, I will tap out my sad texts on my so 3 years ago Razr keypad, have to use an actual laser level to hang shelves, and jot down where we parked on my hand.
And, of course, look with longing at your iPhone.