(no subject)
i have recently realized that much of my unhappiness in life stems from placing unrealistic expectations on those around me.
consequently, my sequestered, solitary existence is probably another by-product of this behavior.
i woke up this morning, completely frustrated with two people in my life - family and co-worker. so frustrated, in fact, that i couldn't go back to sleep. i could feel my heart racing, while i tried to put myself in their shoes and wonder what was going through their heads at a given point in time.
i used to drink to overcome my terrible social anxieties. now that i think about it, that wasn't the only reason. i also used to drink to dumb myself down to everyone else's level. i never wanted to be the smart kid, i just wanted to be the happy kid. for some reason, i equated happiness with social acceptance.
it's hard for me to accept the various inequities in life - social, economic, political, etc. it's hard to accept that people do stupid things and make poor choices. it's hard to shut the side of me that obsesses over these differences down without evan williams.
i quit drinking and look what happens - i actually register the fact that i feel feelings.
consequently, my sequestered, solitary existence is probably another by-product of this behavior.
i woke up this morning, completely frustrated with two people in my life - family and co-worker. so frustrated, in fact, that i couldn't go back to sleep. i could feel my heart racing, while i tried to put myself in their shoes and wonder what was going through their heads at a given point in time.
i used to drink to overcome my terrible social anxieties. now that i think about it, that wasn't the only reason. i also used to drink to dumb myself down to everyone else's level. i never wanted to be the smart kid, i just wanted to be the happy kid. for some reason, i equated happiness with social acceptance.
it's hard for me to accept the various inequities in life - social, economic, political, etc. it's hard to accept that people do stupid things and make poor choices. it's hard to shut the side of me that obsesses over these differences down without evan williams.
i quit drinking and look what happens - i actually register the fact that i feel feelings.