(no subject)
life is unexplainable.
feelings are a language that we speak without words.
i think it is possible to share feelings without even opening our mouths.
yet feelings are complex. and silence is cutting. and at times i find myself unable to communicate and i am stuck in silence, not understanding how i feel. not able to ask for help.
and sometimes we need help.
these days i have felt that human beings haven't been able to touch me. the only thing that has saved my life has been faith in a divine being. and this is something not new to me, but it has been a long time since i have had this belief.
i feel that it has been lacking from my life, and thus my life has been heading in directions i do not care to venture. i do not want to be a part of the blind. i do not want to be faithless. yet i feel so unworthy of anything sometimes, and i suppose this is a feeling i will eventually come to terms with, with a little help.
sometimes when there is so much negative, sad energy just rolling through me, waiting to envelope me, incredible things occur. two days ago, a box full of gifts my family gave me was stolen from my car. i felt like shit. what did i do to have this happen, i kept asking. my energy was drained, my life in the pits. then i visited my friend julia and her baby sophia. sophia one years old, and at the point when she knows what a hug and a kiss is . i really believe she sensed my sadness, sadness i have learned to keep to myself, and gave me tons of hugs and kisses, making me laugh and smile and feel better, sincerely better, for the first time that day. children are so innocent, they say. and they are right. their pure joy spreads like fire, and i'll let it burn through me. another, who is a distant friend, always astonishes me with his consistent positivity. it sounds silly, but just reading his posts remind me of reasons why i should embrace life. the good things and the bad things. and i thank him for that. (thanks flow) i wonder why it's so hard to keep in touch with people. are our lives really so different and busy? maybe they are too much the same. it's hard to not get tied down by everyday routines. by friends that are not more than a walk away. there must be a reason, for i have found that in life, almost everything happens for a reason. but you cannot always search the answers out. you have to learn them, and when the time is right, you will...
so a new year is upon us all. and can you feel the way the world is changing? cus i can. i know as the days pass, i feel different. can you feel it?
feelings are a language that we speak without words.
i think it is possible to share feelings without even opening our mouths.
yet feelings are complex. and silence is cutting. and at times i find myself unable to communicate and i am stuck in silence, not understanding how i feel. not able to ask for help.
and sometimes we need help.
these days i have felt that human beings haven't been able to touch me. the only thing that has saved my life has been faith in a divine being. and this is something not new to me, but it has been a long time since i have had this belief.
i feel that it has been lacking from my life, and thus my life has been heading in directions i do not care to venture. i do not want to be a part of the blind. i do not want to be faithless. yet i feel so unworthy of anything sometimes, and i suppose this is a feeling i will eventually come to terms with, with a little help.
sometimes when there is so much negative, sad energy just rolling through me, waiting to envelope me, incredible things occur. two days ago, a box full of gifts my family gave me was stolen from my car. i felt like shit. what did i do to have this happen, i kept asking. my energy was drained, my life in the pits. then i visited my friend julia and her baby sophia. sophia one years old, and at the point when she knows what a hug and a kiss is . i really believe she sensed my sadness, sadness i have learned to keep to myself, and gave me tons of hugs and kisses, making me laugh and smile and feel better, sincerely better, for the first time that day. children are so innocent, they say. and they are right. their pure joy spreads like fire, and i'll let it burn through me. another, who is a distant friend, always astonishes me with his consistent positivity. it sounds silly, but just reading his posts remind me of reasons why i should embrace life. the good things and the bad things. and i thank him for that. (thanks flow) i wonder why it's so hard to keep in touch with people. are our lives really so different and busy? maybe they are too much the same. it's hard to not get tied down by everyday routines. by friends that are not more than a walk away. there must be a reason, for i have found that in life, almost everything happens for a reason. but you cannot always search the answers out. you have to learn them, and when the time is right, you will...
so a new year is upon us all. and can you feel the way the world is changing? cus i can. i know as the days pass, i feel different. can you feel it?