someone, comment, comfort me, say something, yell, just help me
So I guess LJ is where I come to whine and bitch, but I never make posts here any more... I just read about other people's problems, comment if I feel inclined or when i want to feel like I am still making an attempt at being part of their life, because I still care, etc, etc.
Well, so here is my little post, the last one for the year I bet... (waves to 2007 as it heads out the door).
I guess the main thing I have on my mind that I am trying to not let get to me is my little sister. Things have been terrible with her since the beginning of last school year (Freshmen year of college for anyone graduating in '06 like I did.) I am not sure whe exactly all of it has been just downhill since then, but highschool + drama + teenage hormones took a huge toll on Kristin. She is a junior in highschool now and still feels like she can't handle life very well.
When I first went away to Grand Valley, two weeks in she and her two-year boyfriend Hunter broke up, which I was fine with because he had been a complete ass and his mother had been horrible to kristin. She didn't take it so well, and tried to hurt herself, ending up in the hospital. She got better, though it was a rough process involving seeing things and hearing voices, some kind of PTSD is the likely case. (Post-traumatic stress disorder)
Then, about a year ago she had a bboyfriend named JP, a hich with bad teeth from Ohio who again ended up being an ass, this time though apparently he was trying to force her to do things with him that she wasn't comfortable with.
The breakup was something she decided to do, but once single she was not really able to stay her resolve and broke down, talking to him and saying she wanted him back, which we all knew she didn't.
Next, a boy who I persoanlly thought was a much better choice, the most recent and very friendly and kind David. The only problem with this one was that he was as insecure as her. They both broke up with and got back together with eachother more than once, finally deciding "friends" was the best option.
The problem with Kristin is that she puts guys before anything, even herself, and when in a relationship she can't go a day without seeing or talking to her guy. She is so involved that it scares me, like she jsut becomes absorbed into the relationship and isn't a single person of her own at all any more. When the break-up happens, that is how she feels, like shie ISN'T herself, a human being, a person, someone that is loved by other people.
She is so dependent on these guys to verify her as herself that without she just doesn't want to be anything.
Throughout all of this she has been sent to the hospital many times for hurting herself, including trying to break her arm (ended up doing some good damage to her wrist anyhow, though she didn't get the arm actually broken), trying to hang herself and gouging herself all over because somehow it made things hurt less.
None of which I am able to understand... which makes it even harder for us to talk about it...
She has also been shuffled through a few schools to try to make it easier on her (I don't know HOW that is supposed to do it, but she wanted to avoide the drama apparently...) and I think that hampered things more than helped. SHe was making progress after the first time, even wanted to go back to dexter, but then she got switched to pinkney this year and that was where David was. She doesn't have friends outside of David's social group, so after the break-up and following hospital visit and rehab she is now in, she will be sent somewhere else.
This is the point of this post.
She can't handle highschool, apparently, so my folks were reccomended that she be sent to a "therapy school" of sorts. A school for other people who can't handle school, who are afraid of school, things like that.
I don't think that is such a bad idea necessarily in itself, but there is a bigger problem. There are none in the state. In fact, my mom is out on a tri p right now to look at the best choices and she is visiting Colorado, Utah, Oregon, CALIFORNIA and WASHINGTON.
I am just blocking out the fear and concern for her and the agony... yeah, I dunno, it hurts i guess... I don't want her that far away, and knowing how dependent she is on family is making me very worried for her. If I had more time to think about it, if I had more time to talk about it with my parents it might be a little easier... but she is going, and she is going soon. Very soon, within a few days after Christmas.
I don't know what to do, but this is certainly as much as I can write
Well, so here is my little post, the last one for the year I bet... (waves to 2007 as it heads out the door).
I guess the main thing I have on my mind that I am trying to not let get to me is my little sister. Things have been terrible with her since the beginning of last school year (Freshmen year of college for anyone graduating in '06 like I did.) I am not sure whe exactly all of it has been just downhill since then, but highschool + drama + teenage hormones took a huge toll on Kristin. She is a junior in highschool now and still feels like she can't handle life very well.
When I first went away to Grand Valley, two weeks in she and her two-year boyfriend Hunter broke up, which I was fine with because he had been a complete ass and his mother had been horrible to kristin. She didn't take it so well, and tried to hurt herself, ending up in the hospital. She got better, though it was a rough process involving seeing things and hearing voices, some kind of PTSD is the likely case. (Post-traumatic stress disorder)
Then, about a year ago she had a bboyfriend named JP, a hich with bad teeth from Ohio who again ended up being an ass, this time though apparently he was trying to force her to do things with him that she wasn't comfortable with.
The breakup was something she decided to do, but once single she was not really able to stay her resolve and broke down, talking to him and saying she wanted him back, which we all knew she didn't.
Next, a boy who I persoanlly thought was a much better choice, the most recent and very friendly and kind David. The only problem with this one was that he was as insecure as her. They both broke up with and got back together with eachother more than once, finally deciding "friends" was the best option.
The problem with Kristin is that she puts guys before anything, even herself, and when in a relationship she can't go a day without seeing or talking to her guy. She is so involved that it scares me, like she jsut becomes absorbed into the relationship and isn't a single person of her own at all any more. When the break-up happens, that is how she feels, like shie ISN'T herself, a human being, a person, someone that is loved by other people.
She is so dependent on these guys to verify her as herself that without she just doesn't want to be anything.
Throughout all of this she has been sent to the hospital many times for hurting herself, including trying to break her arm (ended up doing some good damage to her wrist anyhow, though she didn't get the arm actually broken), trying to hang herself and gouging herself all over because somehow it made things hurt less.
None of which I am able to understand... which makes it even harder for us to talk about it...
She has also been shuffled through a few schools to try to make it easier on her (I don't know HOW that is supposed to do it, but she wanted to avoide the drama apparently...) and I think that hampered things more than helped. SHe was making progress after the first time, even wanted to go back to dexter, but then she got switched to pinkney this year and that was where David was. She doesn't have friends outside of David's social group, so after the break-up and following hospital visit and rehab she is now in, she will be sent somewhere else.
This is the point of this post.
She can't handle highschool, apparently, so my folks were reccomended that she be sent to a "therapy school" of sorts. A school for other people who can't handle school, who are afraid of school, things like that.
I don't think that is such a bad idea necessarily in itself, but there is a bigger problem. There are none in the state. In fact, my mom is out on a tri p right now to look at the best choices and she is visiting Colorado, Utah, Oregon, CALIFORNIA and WASHINGTON.
I am just blocking out the fear and concern for her and the agony... yeah, I dunno, it hurts i guess... I don't want her that far away, and knowing how dependent she is on family is making me very worried for her. If I had more time to think about it, if I had more time to talk about it with my parents it might be a little easier... but she is going, and she is going soon. Very soon, within a few days after Christmas.
I don't know what to do, but this is certainly as much as I can write