And this is why I don't want to go out with a black guy (preferably)
So I was at the Southfield Public Library yesterday, doing some research for my community analysis project. Two hours later, I'm at the entrance, waiting for my dad to pick me up. I purposely put my earbuds in and turned on a really loud metal song to send out the message "I don't want to talk right now so move along" but I guess that only works with big head phones because a guy came up to me anyway. So, he asked me what school I went to, and I truthfully said University of Michigan. For some reason, he asked me if I knew some dude or whatever, and I said, "no; I have never heard of them before." He then asked me what campus I went to, and I said Dearborn. He said that he went to Oakland Community College. I think he asked me then how many years I was in, and I was truthful again by saying that I was in my second year. He didn't mention how many years he was in. He asked me why I was going to Dearborn and not to the Ann Arbor campus, and I said that I got a scholarship there. The fatal flaw came in when he asked me what high school I went to: I answered Southfield Lathrup High School. This fucker said, "No wonder you go to Dearborn."
(Yes. Downgrade a school that is said to be one of the top colleges in the Midwest to a community college where your credits are only transferable half of the time.)
A silence settled, and in an attempt to get him to go away without being mean, I said, "I'm already seeing somebody, so I'm not going to let your hopes up." He laughed, and said that why couldn't he just talk to me just to talk.
(Well, if you didn't want to attempt to court a "pretty" black girl out of the blue, why else would you go up and talk to her?)
From that, he started asking me about my boyfriend. I said that my "boyfriend" went to the Ann Arbor campus. He asked me how long we were going out. I said that I have known him since high school, but then he wanted to dig deeper by asking, "but how long have you guys been going out?"
(Like you have the right to scrutinize my relationship. Even if I lied about it.)
I said we've been going out for two years since we started college. And like an ego-maniac, he asked, "so is your boyfriend as cute as me?"
(He wasn't even that good looking to tell you the truth. I tried to put it gently by saying, "I don't want to threatened your manhood, but my boyfriend is better looking by FAR.")
And from that, he started asking about my career choice/major. I said I was going into Environmental Studies. He said that he was going into "law and economics".
(He couldn't even be specific.)
Basically, from that, he started talking how great it is to have a major and job in law, and how you can make big money by being a lawyer. I just say you can do what you do, and you know what this fucker basically does? He starts downgrading not only my college, but my choice of major. Actually, it was pretty funny, because it was pretty obvious that he didn't have a clue what I was talking about when I said, "Well, I'm going to go for a career in the naturalist department, but if that doesn't work out, I would like to give it a try in environmental law and work in the E.P.A. or the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. But if I don't do that, I will go along with my original plan of finishing up at Dearborn, then attending Northland College in upstate Wisconsin, since they are a school that focuses on environmental studies and sciences."
After saying this, the guy was speechless, but decided to come back with the most clever of comebacks:
"So what does a naturalist do? Sit around and spray palm trees?"
He thought it was a pretty funny joke.
I didn't.
(Three strikes and you're out.)
Yep. This guy was not worth it at all. He didn't understand anything about careers and college, and that one is suppose to choose a career that they are committed to and appreciate, not to be "big" and famous and to make a lot of money. So I just said, "you can sit in your attorney office with an oak desk from the trees that I'm trying to preserve. You do what you do what you want. I do what I want."
Thank Buddha my dad came on time for once. So I quickly grabbed my stuff, and he asked for my name. I gave him my classic internet ad pseudonym.
Amy.
I didn't turn back to give him a chance to give me his name.
I think he said "Gary" or something.
As I was driving home, I thought of the best comebacks, like:
"I may never see you again, but you (meaning black men) are the reason why my boyfriend is white/asian."
or,
"Oh. You're going into law? My sister is an attorney in immigration. So what score do you hope to attain on the LSAT?"
He probably would have shut his shithole at the mention of a female relative who was successful in law.
It was pretty clear to him that I wasn't lying (except with the S.O.).
And did I mention he was black?
Here's the thing: for starters, I don't hate black guys. I just hate black guys like this. He tried so hard to win me over, but it was so forced, and he let his ego get to him. It was so obvious that he was intimidated at the fact that a) I was going to a better college than him and b) I got my career path straightened out. This guy couldn't give me any specifics, but when push came to shove, he figured that he had to show me that he was a man who had a slim possibility of being superior to me in the field of careers. He was pretty much saying, "don't think your better than me just because you go to a better school than me."
This is what turns me off about black men. Most of them fit this stereotype so perfectly. You put down the girl that you want to fool around with, and when you knock her up, you split faster than a harlot's legs. This happens all the time. Most black men, the kind who want to live a "bling bling" lifestyle and may already live a ghettofabulous life, suck at courting descent black women. This guy cut the cheese. He was probably the kind to think that just because I am light skinned that makes me an airhead as well, so it would have been easy to pick me up, show me off a while, toy with me, and them leave me when I'm carrying his child.
Not like that will ever happen to me.
You see? I'm always stressed about school and stuff, putting myself down and all that, and I ask myself, "Why am I going through all of this shit?" Then I meet/see guys like this.
"Oh yeah. That's why I'm bettering myself by trying to achieve my goals in college: so I won't be at the mercy of a egomaniacal, potential wife beating thug."
Actually, I'm pretty proud that as far as I went, I handled the situation pretty well. Ego-driven black males can't handle it when a girl outright dejects them, and then they'll start a scene, and possibly do something quite worse.
(But, it always pays to have a lot of guy friends with you. I love you guys. : ) )
So anyway, why is it that black guys do this? A better way of putting it is, why do black guys think that this tactic is a good way of hooking up with a girl? They think that when you say your career plans or give any hint that you are superior to them (when you seriously are) is "disrespecting them", and then the really thugish guys will do this tactic of saying, "Hey girl. You look good" and they walk laugh with their two croonies when you don't respond to them, thinking that what they just pulled was clever.
And here lies my most obvious conclusion:
Decent black women don't go into that shit, as the same with decent black men.
This is why they're both endangered species. You will only come up against a decent black man every so often, and when you do, they're taken, usually by a white woman or an asian woman. And it's the same with decent black girls: they're with white guys and asians. And then typical black men/women is pissed about how "white men/women are taking their men/women." Well here's the thing folks: a decent, good-looking, hard-working black guy doesn't want to be stuck with some hood rat with six wedlock children, and a hard-working, beautiful black woman doesn't want to be with some abusive thug who has no job.
Which is why if worse comes to worse - and they are intelligent and won't lower their standards and expectations - they'll look for the decent mate, who will more than likely be, outside of their own race.
And thus, this is why black men/women are intimidated when one of their own is with their racial nemesis (a.k.a. a white) or the "model minority" (a.k.a. an asian). They think that if a black man/woman who is going out with an S.O. of a different race that they are "snobby" or "too white" or "think they're too good for a black." Well, not for nothing, but that is kinda true. I am too good for a thug (let alone a lot of black males) and I deserve better, even if I must go out of my own ethnicity to find a man who will provide and relate to me.
It reminds me of what Kimora Lee Simons (C.E.O. of Baby Phat who is also Afro-Asian) said once when she was discussing her heritage:
"I consider myself to be one of the black women in fashion who made it...But black women don't look at me like that... A number of them [black women] probably think Russell should be married to a black woman (rather than Afro-Asian.)"
Again, I don't have anything against black males: as you guys already know, I have many who are my dear friends (like you Bran-Bran, and John, and Nick) and they are who I consider to be the decent black guys (it's a compliment!). But, seriously, this is why I don't want to go for a black man. Not one who has an ego so far up their ass that they'll pull me down to their level and degrade me every step of the way. And I know that any man is capable of doing this, but I know this from experience of my own ethnicity.
And to not totally make you guys believe that I'm ripping on black guys, I'll just tell you that I have had experiences on campus when a black guy was kind enough to hold the door open for me like a gentleman (for some reason the arabs don't and whites go through the door first, then hold it open), and they deserve a well earned "thank you". And there are the ones who will say "How do you do?" instead of "what up baby?" when they walk pass, and I give a pleasant nod. And last night, I was lying on the couch, where my brother usually sleeps, and it was time to turn in. But instead of shoving me off the couch like a brother would typically do, he just grabbed an extra blanket, and pulled another blanket over me.
And I just said in my mind, why can't most black men be like my brother?