Right Now...
As I write this I thik about a lot of shit that's been going through my mind latey. Such as when am I going to get the hell out?! When are things going to change for the better?! God damn...the only way that I can change things is if I try. Where the fuck is the gumption to try?! Not here in my mind...pfft! You know I used to not care what anyone thought of me...it was just a damn opinion right? We're all entitled to them. ::sighs:: Not lately. Lately I just don't want to know what you think about me! Know why?! I'll tell you why! I don't want to know what you think about me because it might not be what I want to hear! No I'm not perfect...keep looking. Not lazy. Not responsible. Not irresponsable. Not sane. Not insane. Not anything that you think of me. I'm just me. Right now at this momet in time I think that I hate the world. Yes the whole fucking god damned world. I think I going back in time again. ::cradles her head:: Back to a time I want to forget! But I can't becasue I can remember exact times and dates of it all. Spetember 20th 1994 10 AM....May 20th 1995 6:40 Am....Feburary 20th 10 PM....The list goes on. This is one of those times I want to die. Die and diappear from the world. Perhaps that's why I walked in front of a car today. My mind is tempting fated and destiny. ::laughs:: Look at what I sound like...I sound insane. I need to change my life and I need to do it quickly..................................................................................quickly.....................................................................................quickly..................................................................................quickly....................................................................................quickly.............fast...................................................................................fast....................................................................................fast.....................................................................................fate!