APP!1
Character Name: Madara/'Nyanko-sensei'
Series: Natsume Yuujinchou (The Natsume Book of Friends)
Character Age: Unspecified, but OLD. Is a spirit!
Job: Alcohol Distribution Enforcer
Canon: Once upon a time, there was a lonely girl named Natsume Reiko who could communicate with spirits. Ostracized as a freak and a witch by others, she turned to the supernatural for companionship. Incredibly powerful, she beat dozens of spirits in contests and took their names, with which she could control or even destroy them. These names were compiled into the Book of Friends, which she later passed down to her grandson Takashi. Natsume Yuujinchou is the story of Takashi's quest to return the names of the spirits. Unfortunately, he often has to risk life and limb when angry beings mistake his spiritual energy for his careless grandmother's--or when more powerful ones want to take the Book of Friends for themselves.
Madara is one such being, who tries to eat Natsume when the latter accidentally frees him. They make a bargain instead: if Madara protects Natsume on his quest, he will receive the Book if/when Natsume dies. Madara doesn't seem like ideal guardian material: his common form is that of an extremely fat, rotund cat, which earns him names like 'Nyanko-sensei,' 'buta-neko,' and 'Ponta.' Lazy, self-centered, easily distracted and crotchety, his only concerns seem to be eating fish, shrimp and sweets, drinking all the alcohol he can lay his paws on, singing horrible drunken karaoke and--all right, doing his job once in a while, although he would much rather eat Natsume. Really. He does display affection for humans, sometimes helping them out despite claiming to scorn them as weak. This is not the only thing he's bad at lying about: though he denies that he is a cat, he inadvertently ends up acting like one (playing with cat toys, going mad for fish, etc.) and making a fool of himself. Don't think this means he's topped by everything, though: his true form is incredibly badass (!111!!!), and he displays great wisdom and power when needed.
Sample Post:
Taking a mighty creature like me for a walk in the woods just to give some little spirit back its name, hmph! Silly Natsume, how slow he is, getting himself lost in a mere dense, dark and totally pathless forest like that. He deserves to be left behind for being so careless, but I'll sit here for five minutes and wait graciously for him to catch up. Wait, no, I'll ambush him and test his skills when he arrives! That rustling in the bushes--won't he be surprised.
HA, I'VE GOT YOU NOW--hfkldkg! Oi, who do you guys think you are, trying to fool me? Natsume has more limbs than all of you together, and you taste and smell disgusting, bleh! I'm not giving this foot back unless you answer a question, though, and tell me where to find a spirit who lives around here. She's called Marcy of the Nine Thousand and One Japanese Hellos. What an unnecessarily grand name for such small fry. If you don't know where she is, then get lost and don't bother me with your stupid moaning, groaning and boning back there, nya. Put it away and move on!
What, you're here to offer me a job? I already have a perfectly good job of my own, idiots, go away. But...Alcohol Distribution Enforcer of Camp Seafood, you say? Well, while I wait for a certain lazy human to come along, I suppose I can generously handle that responsibility for you for a few minutes. In fact, if you're having problems distributing that alcohol amongst yourselves, I have the perfect solution for you. Give it all to me, right now!
...it worked? Of course it worked. Nyahaha, of course you were right in picking the great and magnificent Madara for this job, which is perfect for him! Even if they are foreign, this Capurrnet Sauvignyan and this Mrrlots Nyar are delicious! You've done well, my new servants. Listen up: I'm so happy, that I'll do you all a great honor, and sing you a wonderful song to inspire you into getting me even more bottles!
♪ Ohhh all the zombie kittens mew about undead tempura blues
But Madara's got something for yooou, some brilliant happy news
I'm out of rhymes, nyan--oooo!
But! It's okay not to rhyme if you're drinking
Because more spirits are always fine toooooo~ ♪
Hsst! What do you think you're doing?! That wasn't an invitation to swarm me, you rotting, ignorant ingrates, and how dare you refer to laying your filthy hands on me as a simple game of touch-the-pussy! In fact, how dare you mistake me for a cat at all, when my true self is so undeniably majestic and noble, nya! You're not even threatening at all, gibbering back there, telling me there's no way I can take on all of this Seafood by myself. You'd better prepare to eat your words, because this pussy can swallow up anyone and anything you throw at it, right here, right now. DELICIOUS SEAFOOD: READY OR NOT, HERE I COOOME!
--n-nyan. Is THAT Marcy? I...I think I need another drink.
Voting went here! Holy crap.