Someone Special (chapter1)
fandome: VIXX
pairing: Cha Hakyeon/Jung Taekwoon, Cha Hakyeon/ Han Sanghyuk, Han Sanhyuk/ Lee Jaehwan,
Kim Wonshik/Lee Hongbin
extra: Lee Minhyuk (BtoB)
chaptered: 1/?
rating: teen and up
summary: Cha Hakyeon suffers through a break up, moves on and then finds his happiness.
"I'm sorry." Sanghyuk said, voice low, standing in the living-room with Hakyeon across from him. He looked contrite and Hakyeon wondered why Sanghyuk should be feeling any remorse. Sanghyuk was the one ending their two year relationship.
Hakyeon looked away as pain burned through him. "Sorry." He muttered in disbelief.
"Hakyeon please, I love him." Sanghyuk was trying to plead for Hakyeon to understand, but Hakyeon was not having it. Two years was being swept away and Hakyeon was the one left standing on unsteady ground.
"You love him, Jaehwan? Your roommate? You love him." The last coming out in a statement. Hakyeon took a deep breath, his hands clenching at his sides as he kept the rising anger under control. He gave a harsh laugh that resounded around the quiet room, "And here I thought you loved me."
He wanted to lash out at Sanghyuk. Wanted to demand if anything has happened between Sanghyuk and Jaehwan. He really wanted to. He also didn't think he would be able to handle it if Sanghyuk told him that he had been cheating on him. He felt like he was getting sick from just the idea.
"I did. I loved you, but I have to be honest with you and with myself. I don't think I've really loved you for a while now. I'm sorry, I don't want to be mean or harsh, but it's the truth. Hakyeon, I didn't want to cheat, I'm not that kind of guy. I wanted to do this right, and the right thing is to tell you. Jaehwan, he said he wouldn't be with me until I ended it with you, but, I knew before he said anything that I would be here doing this. Please, let's end this in a good way, Hakyeon. Let me get my stuff and then I can leave and you can begin to heal and get through this, move on."
It sounded reasonable what Sanghyuk said. But, the easy way Sanghyuk said it, like it wasn't going to tear Hakyeon apart when Sanghyuk left. Like it wasn't something he was going to have to deal with. Because Sanghyuk, Hakyeon suddenly realized, had already moved on. Hakyeon was struggling through the thick fog of denial, and it was taking a moment longer to catch up with reality. It should have helped to know that he hadn't been cheated on. It didn't. The sick feeling remained.
"Move on. You think it's going to be easy, Sanghyuk? Do you think that what I feel for you is a small flame that can be diminished so easily? I guess I'm the one getting burned in the end."
They looked at each other from across the room. One would leave to start a new life with a new lover, feeling no pain. One would be left behind to start over and yes, to try and move on. Hakyeon could read the pleading and begging in Sanghyuks eyes, not to be cruel, not to fight him and make the breakup ugly.
Hakyeon closed his eyes as he fought the tears, he wanted to fight for Sanghyuk. Make him see how much Hakyeon loved him and how good they were together. He thought of the past, of all the good times they had together. Of the love they shared, or the love that Hakyeon thought they had shared. It must have not meant as much to Sanghyuk.
Hakyeon had met Jaehwan a few times. Had enjoyed his time with the other man. Jaehwan was funny, outgoing and really handsome. Hakyeon hadn't seen any untoward behavior between Sanghyuk and Jaehwan. No flirting, nothing. They had been mindful of Hakyeon and his feelings for Sanghyuk. Hakyeon didn't know how he should feel about that. Jaehwan knew that they were together, had wanted Sanghyuk and waited for Sanghyuk to be free before he persued him. It hurt even more to know that Sanghyuk was going to someone that would be good to him, because Hakyeon knew that Jaehwan would be good to Sanghyuk. Jaehwan was generous and Hakyeon knew, even if it hurt for Hakyeon to admit, that Jaehwan would give his everything for Sanghyuk.
Hakyeon knew it was over, He knew he could fight this, or he could just give in like Sanghyuk was hoping he would. Hakyeon felt pettiness inside him and he wanted to make it as awful as he could for Sanghyuk. As he watched Sanghyuk, he knew that he couldn't. He could, but it wasn't something that he would have ever thought of doing. At least Sanghyuk was man enough to end things before moving on with Jaehwan. Not that that made anything better. Not even slightly.
Hakyeon gave in. Did he really have any other choice? Sanghyuk was leaving either way. Hakyeon saw the relief in the sudden relaxing of Sanghyuks shoulders as he gave in. It hurt and that was all there was to it.
Hakyeon sighed and motioned with his hand towards the bedroom, "Make it quick please. I'll not fight you, but know that I love you. Someday, I'll look back on this and be thankful that you and Jaehwan didn't move on your feelings before ending things with me, but not right now. Right now I'm hurt and will hurt for a long time."
Hakyeon felt his legs give as Sanghyuk left to the bedroom, he fell to the couch his head hanging low. His stomach rolled, his fingers clenching the sides of the couch to keep control of his tears that were threating to fall at any minute.
He listened to swish of drawers opening and the quiet rustle of clothes. Another drawer being opened then silence.
"Hakyeon?" His whispered name was what caused him to look up. Sanghyuk stood quietly, Sanghyuks bag in one hand and a box in the other. Quickly Hakyeon shot to his feet and grabbed the small box from Sanghyuk's hand. His heart breaking even more as he opened the box to see the two platinum gold rings nestled inside.
"Hakyeon?" His eyes jerked to Sanghyuk at his name being repeated, the question being asked without being spoken aloud.
Hakyeon gave a hollow laugh, "While you came here looking for a breakup, I was looking for forever. Funny how tonight I was going to ask you to move in with me. I bought these rings three months ago. I was going to go slow and maybe in a few more months ask you to marry me. You don't know how much I wanted forever with you Sanghyuk. I would have married you tomorrow if you had wanted it. You don't though. You don't want anything that I want and now all I see is a future of loneliness." His fingers tightened around the box as he stared at the rings through watery eyes.
Sanghyuk looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. Hakyeon knew he had no idea. Of course not, not when Hakyeon was taking things slow with him. Sanghyuk was three years younger than him. Maybe the idea of marriage made him sick, after all Sanghyuk was still young and probably wasn't looking for something that serious. Hakyeon had always thought of Sanghyuk as mature. Sanghyuk had to work to even get Hakyeon to go on a date with him because Hakyeon was scared of how young he was. But, Sanghyuk always acted more mature then others his age. Hakyeon started to relax a little around him and Hakyeon thought things was fine, until they weren't and tonight happened. Could Hakyeon really blame this on Sanghyuk's youth? Was that fair? Hakyeon didn't care he was to hurt to think to deeply about it. Hakyeon could see that Sanghyuk was beginning to see how much Hakyeon loved him. Hakyeon didn't want Sanghyuk's pity, he just wanted him to go so he could grieve for what he wouldn't have, for a future lost.
"Please Sanghyuk, just go. Don't say anything, just leave."
"Hakyeon, call Minhyuk. Don't be alone tonight." Sanghyuk muttered, and Hakyeon nodded. Anything to get him gone.
Hakyeon heard Sanghyuk's footsteps. A door opening. A door closing. And the suffocating silence that brought him to his knees, the box still clutched tightly in his hand.
Hakyeon could finally cry.