So..
I write this here because this is the one place I won't be judged for what I write.
These past couple of months have done nothing for me. If it had'nt been for sarah and some other friends, id be in worse shape than I am now.
However These I doubt myselg more than ever. I don't know where I stand or who I stand with. Its been recenlty brought to my attention that I tend to push people away. And I will agree i tend to whine alot. But on the other hand, I am living with my mother, in the smallest town known to man.And don't get me wrong I love this town, but Staying here with no friends, and noone wants to come see me or even talk to me( and those that are out of state, I don't meant you ;-) ) or at least that what it feels like
And for the first time in my life, I'm feeling the silence of God and this is causing a serious faith crisis in my life. I believe in God and I won't let go of that... But I feel like Ive been living on faith for almost a year, and I keep getting handed one bad situation after another. It seems to me that my generation was taught that if you prayed and believed God was gonna handle things that things would be handled. They even backed it up with wonderful anecdotes about how They were swallowed with debt and they began to pray and like a week later things began to turn around for them. So why is may family living in almost squaler, struggling each moth to pinch pennies and scraping just enough to get by. please explain that to me,I would love to have some good solid evidence as to why, everyone else's life seems to be going peachy keen and mine is sucking the life out of my soul.
And Normally i wouldn't complain, but I let a chance years ago slip through my fingers. I listend to other peoples advice and now im in the hole im in. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'll just stop here because my moanin and crying isn't doing anyone any good.
Sorry for wasting your time
These past couple of months have done nothing for me. If it had'nt been for sarah and some other friends, id be in worse shape than I am now.
However These I doubt myselg more than ever. I don't know where I stand or who I stand with. Its been recenlty brought to my attention that I tend to push people away. And I will agree i tend to whine alot. But on the other hand, I am living with my mother, in the smallest town known to man.And don't get me wrong I love this town, but Staying here with no friends, and noone wants to come see me or even talk to me( and those that are out of state, I don't meant you ;-) ) or at least that what it feels like
And for the first time in my life, I'm feeling the silence of God and this is causing a serious faith crisis in my life. I believe in God and I won't let go of that... But I feel like Ive been living on faith for almost a year, and I keep getting handed one bad situation after another. It seems to me that my generation was taught that if you prayed and believed God was gonna handle things that things would be handled. They even backed it up with wonderful anecdotes about how They were swallowed with debt and they began to pray and like a week later things began to turn around for them. So why is may family living in almost squaler, struggling each moth to pinch pennies and scraping just enough to get by. please explain that to me,I would love to have some good solid evidence as to why, everyone else's life seems to be going peachy keen and mine is sucking the life out of my soul.
And Normally i wouldn't complain, but I let a chance years ago slip through my fingers. I listend to other peoples advice and now im in the hole im in. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I'll just stop here because my moanin and crying isn't doing anyone any good.
Sorry for wasting your time