So here it is
I am writing this here instead of facebook or xanga because too many people would read this and would get their feelings hurt.
I am so Fucking tired of being lonely. I'm tired of not having a social life. and you know what this points out to me? that the majority of the friends i had at king were never really ever my friends. I had only one true friend. And she is still my friend. her name is Sarah Eldridge and she is amazing. not only di she make the thirty minute treck to see me when i was in kingsport this past spring, but she has said she would be willing to make the hour and a half treck to come see me. thats amazing to me. Everyone else gives me some lame excuse about distance and "uhh its so long a drive"
" but you did this to your self" i hear others say " by not taking your meds and not getting you lisence" Really? this is your reasoning? is this something you would say to someone that was in the hospital? hey why did'nt you visit me? " oh well because it was too far to the hospital and besides you being sick is really your fault"
even my gf ( now my ex gf) would not even visit me when i was in kingsport. granted she was 3 hours away but for some strange reason she could make the trek to see her parents but not to come see me. Whatever.
I'm tired of being alone. i feel like ive been alone for longer than three weeks. i feel like ive been alone oh i dunno for like more than three years. I have felt ignored and for what? for why? because everyone is afraid of my gf? everyone thinks im weird?
I'm so tired of it all
if i had to thank two people it would be my friends Nicole who lives in pa, and my friend that i previuosly mentioned Sarah. both of them combined are amazing.
I am so Fucking tired of being lonely. I'm tired of not having a social life. and you know what this points out to me? that the majority of the friends i had at king were never really ever my friends. I had only one true friend. And she is still my friend. her name is Sarah Eldridge and she is amazing. not only di she make the thirty minute treck to see me when i was in kingsport this past spring, but she has said she would be willing to make the hour and a half treck to come see me. thats amazing to me. Everyone else gives me some lame excuse about distance and "uhh its so long a drive"
" but you did this to your self" i hear others say " by not taking your meds and not getting you lisence" Really? this is your reasoning? is this something you would say to someone that was in the hospital? hey why did'nt you visit me? " oh well because it was too far to the hospital and besides you being sick is really your fault"
even my gf ( now my ex gf) would not even visit me when i was in kingsport. granted she was 3 hours away but for some strange reason she could make the trek to see her parents but not to come see me. Whatever.
I'm tired of being alone. i feel like ive been alone for longer than three weeks. i feel like ive been alone oh i dunno for like more than three years. I have felt ignored and for what? for why? because everyone is afraid of my gf? everyone thinks im weird?
I'm so tired of it all
if i had to thank two people it would be my friends Nicole who lives in pa, and my friend that i previuosly mentioned Sarah. both of them combined are amazing.