(no subject)
adri is angry with me. i dont care. he is mad cuz i met with some males at an underground club, and got to know one of them. i left with him. wanted to kiss him so badly, but kept myself in control. later that night adri yelled at me while two police guards told me i better be sorry. i wass supposed to meet adri and his girl by the bar. it was 30 min passed the time i was supposed to meet them. im so sorry adri. you leave me to fuck tini in the bathroom that day for an hour, and you are mad at me? you have problems. if yu think life is just clubs and sex and alcohol, then you are screwed. i sat in the car crying, telling myself to stop, that i dont know why im shedding tears. i hate myself. adri blames me for all the shit that happened that night. i dont fucking care anymore. i need to stop cussing, its badd for me. god i want to kiss him. his frined took a pic of us. i want to leave. at least in the U.S. ppl understand what im saying, even thouugh they never truly will. i have to go lunch soon. how annoying. im fat anyway. going to be fun sitting next to adri. tini is a bicth, ddint even say bye. if i as her i would leave adri. he is not worth it. he told me that im stupid and that im not going partying with them anymore. oh yay for me. your partying is going to destroy you one day adri. im so tired...just want to see my real friends again. adri's eyes are full of nothing anyway, just anger. at least stevens,nicoles,meghans,and alexs eyes have something within them other than uncontrolled fire. im tired of being here. germany is cool, but only the southern part, near the austrian mountains. its so peaceful there. i still have the wristband on 4m the club. gonna keep it on just to piss adri off. he wanted to use me to buy him drinks. how cheap and lame is that? tini is not worth my time. i hope adri stays in germany. im not going to entertain him while in america. its not worth it. he will miss tini too much to care about nything else. whatever i have to go soon...it sucks. i love his family, but adri is so grrrrrr, or whatever word is used there. cant think of it right now. thank the cosmos im leaving in two days. its going to be hard packing all my stuff,but at least im leaving. school is going to be boring, but at least i have my friends to see every morning. i hope my sis will be okay while she is there. i hope no one fucks with her. she can handle herself tho, so thats good. its 1218, have to go at 1230. goinng to check my deviantart.com account...