the joys of spring
Well, 8 weeks of no posting, I think you deserve something special. And since it's that time of year again...
Rose's Springwatch 2009 Drinking Game
Yes, I think we should be combining the great traditions of British spring with other great British traditions. For a start, it makes the viewing easier. But I am being catty about one of the few staples of British TV that truly brings joy to my heart, which isn't fair. More importantly, one of the features of Springwatch is that it is put on air live, which means that the presenters are more likely to repeat catchwords, thus upping drinking game suitability. Of course, the rather disturbing experience of last year's stag beetle mating scene, with Bill Oddie doing porno dubbing over the film, or the even more traumatic cannibalism on live camera of cuddly barn owl chicks being eaten by their eldest sibling of the year before, may not be repeated, thus removing the need to down an entire bottle of whatever one currently has to hand. However, something tends to turn up (as Kate keeps implying, they have a whole tentful of 'story-developers' trying to piece things together into an interesting, linear narrative with a climax).
So, without further ado (now that exams are nearly over), grab your alcohol, your sofa and your TV (or computer, if you are iplayering it up, like me) and be ready to get pissed as a newt.
DRINK whenever
ANYONE
- says "challenge"
- says something or somewhere is "great for wildlife"
- calls something (animal or behaviour) "amazing", "astonishing", or claims that they've never seen it before.
- (preferably more than one person) goes on about how gorgeous/lovely an animal is, esp. plumage (drink throughout)
- describes an animal as "elusive"
KATE
- laughs and throws her head forward
- coos at length over charming/beautiful animals/shots of animals
- pretends not to understand Chris's technical terms ('high nest relocation tenacity')
- accuses a male animal of being a 'typical man' [this one's in on probation, she didn't do it in episode 2; probably too controversial]
CHRIS
- uses an unnecessary technical term
- wears a wildlife-themed shirt (drink every time you see the shirt)
- describes something in camp, climatic language ('this lupin is just brimming up, ready to blossom and produce gallons of nectar!') [will he do this again? we hope so!]
- refers to himself doing something animals do (disgorging pellets, hatching...)
SIMON
- says "corking", "corker", or "cracking"
- eulogises about the lake behind him, or Wales in general (using poetic language like mysterious, magical, etc) - drink throughout
- shows you a "quick sketch"
- drags out telling us whether the cameras have caught anything, says they've seen "precisely nothing" and then shows you a "tantalising" glimpse of whatever it is
SHOTS whenever
An ANIMAL
- does something endearingly anthropomorphic
- does something psychotic (same-species infanticide, sibling cannibalism, etc - killing for food doesn't count, nor do cuckoos)
- (young) fledges or leaves the lair/nest/home successfully
A PRESENTER
- talks affectionately about poo (especially if they're doing it to annoy Kate)
- gangs up on another of the presenters (especially if it's the men against Kate, eg. sofa joke)
- says something wildly inappropriate that leaves the audience in shock (we probably won't have that with Bill gone, but we can hope)
If you can't get drunk within the hour with that set of instructions, you are clearly doing something wrong, like drinking tea.
I haven't been able to test this yet, as I am taking an exam tomorrow, but I compiled it based on the first two episodes (I can't watch today's yet, the entire male population of my halls have taken over the common room to watch a football match), and if I've been counting right anyone drinking something stronger than beer should be satisfied. (I shall try it in the next couple of days and let you know the result, plus any changes.)
Apart from that, things are ok. My brain is too tired to deal with relating all the boring vagaries of my current existence, so I shan't, and you shall have to imagine for yourself the delightful things that befall me.
Rose's Springwatch 2009 Drinking Game
Yes, I think we should be combining the great traditions of British spring with other great British traditions. For a start, it makes the viewing easier. But I am being catty about one of the few staples of British TV that truly brings joy to my heart, which isn't fair. More importantly, one of the features of Springwatch is that it is put on air live, which means that the presenters are more likely to repeat catchwords, thus upping drinking game suitability. Of course, the rather disturbing experience of last year's stag beetle mating scene, with Bill Oddie doing porno dubbing over the film, or the even more traumatic cannibalism on live camera of cuddly barn owl chicks being eaten by their eldest sibling of the year before, may not be repeated, thus removing the need to down an entire bottle of whatever one currently has to hand. However, something tends to turn up (as Kate keeps implying, they have a whole tentful of 'story-developers' trying to piece things together into an interesting, linear narrative with a climax).
So, without further ado (now that exams are nearly over), grab your alcohol, your sofa and your TV (or computer, if you are iplayering it up, like me) and be ready to get pissed as a newt.
DRINK whenever
ANYONE
- says "challenge"
- says something or somewhere is "great for wildlife"
- calls something (animal or behaviour) "amazing", "astonishing", or claims that they've never seen it before.
- (preferably more than one person) goes on about how gorgeous/lovely an animal is, esp. plumage (drink throughout)
- describes an animal as "elusive"
KATE
- laughs and throws her head forward
- coos at length over charming/beautiful animals/shots of animals
- pretends not to understand Chris's technical terms ('high nest relocation tenacity')
- accuses a male animal of being a 'typical man' [this one's in on probation, she didn't do it in episode 2; probably too controversial]
CHRIS
- uses an unnecessary technical term
- wears a wildlife-themed shirt (drink every time you see the shirt)
- describes something in camp, climatic language ('this lupin is just brimming up, ready to blossom and produce gallons of nectar!') [will he do this again? we hope so!]
- refers to himself doing something animals do (disgorging pellets, hatching...)
SIMON
- says "corking", "corker", or "cracking"
- eulogises about the lake behind him, or Wales in general (using poetic language like mysterious, magical, etc) - drink throughout
- shows you a "quick sketch"
- drags out telling us whether the cameras have caught anything, says they've seen "precisely nothing" and then shows you a "tantalising" glimpse of whatever it is
SHOTS whenever
An ANIMAL
- does something endearingly anthropomorphic
- does something psychotic (same-species infanticide, sibling cannibalism, etc - killing for food doesn't count, nor do cuckoos)
- (young) fledges or leaves the lair/nest/home successfully
A PRESENTER
- talks affectionately about poo (especially if they're doing it to annoy Kate)
- gangs up on another of the presenters (especially if it's the men against Kate, eg. sofa joke)
- says something wildly inappropriate that leaves the audience in shock (we probably won't have that with Bill gone, but we can hope)
If you can't get drunk within the hour with that set of instructions, you are clearly doing something wrong, like drinking tea.
I haven't been able to test this yet, as I am taking an exam tomorrow, but I compiled it based on the first two episodes (I can't watch today's yet, the entire male population of my halls have taken over the common room to watch a football match), and if I've been counting right anyone drinking something stronger than beer should be satisfied. (I shall try it in the next couple of days and let you know the result, plus any changes.)
Apart from that, things are ok. My brain is too tired to deal with relating all the boring vagaries of my current existence, so I shan't, and you shall have to imagine for yourself the delightful things that befall me.