It's a beautiful day
It's amazing how a day can go. I had a pretty average day today starting out. Went to bed at 7am. Slept on the damn couch since some of the fam is here. I don't really care about that though. That's just part of fam coming over. Plans were all made to go up to Broadripple. Hung out with the family. Ate some Lucky Charms. Ate some fruit. Got all showered and nicely dressed. Did up my hair. Joe came over and we hung out for a while. Claire came over. We left. We went over to Kelly's house to see Janet and her fiance Marc which I was glad to see both of them. I haven't seen Janet in a long time. Seeing her fiance was cool too. I like him. He seemed like a cool guy. So I can't be all like big brothery and all that shit. I am pretty glad she's back too. I did miss Janet. So we went from there to pick up Mike to go to the Patio. The reason we were going there was to meet up with my friend Meg whom I havne't seen in like....three years or so. She is so nice and I didn't think it possible but, got more beautiful. Commonly me saying things like that make the girl not want to hang out with me. But, anyway. We had fun at the show. I got an awesome sub from a place in Broadripple. I lost some more respect for humanity of course while I was leaving Broadripple. Then we headed to the south side. Dropped claire off at her car and joe to his. Mike had split ways with us. All of us but joe and claire, who had a headache, went to dennys. Where I usually go once a day. Things were cool, til we were about to leave. I got charged for my drink. This may not sound bad...but, I've never gotten charged for my drinks in the past month plus at Denny's. It's not like it was some new server or something. This girl has worked there since I started coming in. Plus to add on top of that, she has been real weird around me and hasn't said more than two words to me every time she's there when I am. She seems to be rude to me until tonight when she was real nice, then charged me. It's the principality. Another thing was that she didn't charge Joe. I mean, that honestly just seems like she was just...being mean. I did sort of take offense and she proceeded to call me a cheapskate. Not cool. This girl doesn't know me. She knows what I am like....sort of. Because I am at her place of employment...sometimes. Well, whatever. That kind of shit bothers me but, I was leaving and the worst thing....someone fucking scratched my fucking hood. Like a few times. Not a word or picture or anything...just a bunch of scratches. That fucking pisses me off. Don't fuck with a man's vehicle. Not fucking cool. If someone is pissed at me, come and say something. Don't scratch my fucking car. I'm going to sell it. And it would be worse if it were some fucking random. I can't just have a good day. I haven't had one in so long. I really hoped today was going to be one. It just can't happen with me. Yeah I'm a pessimist. I know. And I shouldn't let a few things ruin a good day. I can't help it. Not just one bad thing can happen, it has to be a few. I sometimes wonder what there is to hope for. When life throws me lemons, they fucking get in my eyes and open wounds. I kind of have to ignore all the bad shit sometimes to even keep going. I have to force myself to leave the house sometimes. I almost wish people couldn't read this shit. I know I can lock it but, don't want to. I want people to know but, don't want fucking pity. Don't want, hang in there. Fuck that. I've hung in for too long. What have I got to show for it? Getting rejected, abandoned, lied to, fucked over? Don't kid yourself into thinking that I don't think this shit happens to others. I know it does. I guess I'm more sensitive than most. I used to be able to block my feelings. Be the apathy machine. I wish I could again. I could just keep on going, no problem. Stay happy-go-lucky and just keep going. Too many things make me sad and angry. I don't have love in my life. By a significant other or not. I think that is one thing I can still remain apathetic to, love. Believe me, I'm afraid to feel it again. I'm sure it won't be reciprocated. Not that I can blame anyone. I'm unreliable, weird, I swear I'm insane, I don't quite understand what I could offer. I hit my love and sexual peak between the ages of 16 and 18. How fucking lame is that? Eh fuck it