an expectation of bodily integrity
So, in light of last night's awful date-gone-wrong (I'm still kicking myself for not dumping my drink on him and leaving), I wondered briefly whether I'm out of line as a woman to have any kind of expectation of having my boundaries respected or my bodily integrity maintained.
Obviously, I know, and the communities in which I participate know, that everyone, regardless of the adjectives they use to describe themselves, everyone has a right to espect a certain level of respect regarding their personal space. Except, I function in communities that are counter to the status quo.
So, I come across many people who think that I am "uptight" because I insist on my personal boundaries being respected. A number of people I've gone out with think this way, and it's no wwonder I had a moment where I doubted whether I was within my right to put this asshole in his place. As you can tell, I'm still upset about it.
It's not just this one incident either. Others of my friends have encountered people who didn't respect their bodily integrity because they happen to have a vagina. In reality, unless you specifically demand it, women have no expectation of privacy or their bodily integrity or boundaries being respected. And it's fucking bullshit. Too much of our world thinks of women as objects, and despite the best efforts of feminism (women, men, and those who identify differently) we still have to tell people "I'm an actual human being, not a vagina with legs, and I deserve respect because I am a sentient, self-aware being. Agreeing to go on a date with you does NOT mean you get to touch me/etc."
Why do we have to say that still? Why is it not fucking obvious to everyone?!
Obviously, I know, and the communities in which I participate know, that everyone, regardless of the adjectives they use to describe themselves, everyone has a right to espect a certain level of respect regarding their personal space. Except, I function in communities that are counter to the status quo.
So, I come across many people who think that I am "uptight" because I insist on my personal boundaries being respected. A number of people I've gone out with think this way, and it's no wwonder I had a moment where I doubted whether I was within my right to put this asshole in his place. As you can tell, I'm still upset about it.
It's not just this one incident either. Others of my friends have encountered people who didn't respect their bodily integrity because they happen to have a vagina. In reality, unless you specifically demand it, women have no expectation of privacy or their bodily integrity or boundaries being respected. And it's fucking bullshit. Too much of our world thinks of women as objects, and despite the best efforts of feminism (women, men, and those who identify differently) we still have to tell people "I'm an actual human being, not a vagina with legs, and I deserve respect because I am a sentient, self-aware being. Agreeing to go on a date with you does NOT mean you get to touch me/etc."
Why do we have to say that still? Why is it not fucking obvious to everyone?!