(no subject)
yesterday i cried. and cried and cried. i dont know why but i couldnt stop. all day i cried. all morning at tafe in the bathroom and all evening before robin came back from europe and then i put on a brave face. (im really glad hes back)
ive felt relly depressed, one of the main things im upset about is it turns out someone i considered to be a good friend doesnt actually like me very much and it well, really hurts actually. i dunno. ive felt alot of tension from them in the last month or so, and i dont know what ive done or said that pisses them off about me. the worst thing is they don't tell me. i figured it may just be who i am as a person that they dont like. its not unreasonable; i don't like stupid people,some people just dont like certain types of people. and i think im one of those people. oh well, ive got to stop feeling miserable and just... get on woth life... including my assessments!
yeah the last few days have been emotinally draining. and physically draining.
ive got so many assessments, assignments and tests and papers and essays to write i dont know where to start let alone how to do half of it. the last few weeks ive just felt emotionally distant from people; the last few days especially so i havent really been in the head-state to study. but i stayed back an extra 4 hours today at chem to get some things clear.
also, my ex who fucked me over years ago wants to meet up to 'apologize'to me, but hey, as far as i can see, he probably just wants forgiveness from me for what he did to me..(its always about him) and as i see it, forgiveness comes from within the self, not from someone else. besides, i dont think i could ever forgive him.. i feel something for him but i dont think its forgiveness. i dont know if ive ever felt forgiveness.
I hate those emoticon thingys sometimes. i dont kow why i bother. they take the whole mood of the emotion you are feeling away. look at it!! i feel depressed, so i choose depressed on the emoticon thing and its some cartoon picture of a chick crying. come on. oh well.
i wish....
i wish away....
love
ive felt relly depressed, one of the main things im upset about is it turns out someone i considered to be a good friend doesnt actually like me very much and it well, really hurts actually. i dunno. ive felt alot of tension from them in the last month or so, and i dont know what ive done or said that pisses them off about me. the worst thing is they don't tell me. i figured it may just be who i am as a person that they dont like. its not unreasonable; i don't like stupid people,some people just dont like certain types of people. and i think im one of those people. oh well, ive got to stop feeling miserable and just... get on woth life... including my assessments!
yeah the last few days have been emotinally draining. and physically draining.
ive got so many assessments, assignments and tests and papers and essays to write i dont know where to start let alone how to do half of it. the last few weeks ive just felt emotionally distant from people; the last few days especially so i havent really been in the head-state to study. but i stayed back an extra 4 hours today at chem to get some things clear.
also, my ex who fucked me over years ago wants to meet up to 'apologize'to me, but hey, as far as i can see, he probably just wants forgiveness from me for what he did to me..(its always about him) and as i see it, forgiveness comes from within the self, not from someone else. besides, i dont think i could ever forgive him.. i feel something for him but i dont think its forgiveness. i dont know if ive ever felt forgiveness.
I hate those emoticon thingys sometimes. i dont kow why i bother. they take the whole mood of the emotion you are feeling away. look at it!! i feel depressed, so i choose depressed on the emoticon thing and its some cartoon picture of a chick crying. come on. oh well.
i wish....
i wish away....
love