Back up in Denton visiting Vic.
Well last night was interesting, operating on no sleep since waking at 6pm Thursday, I drove up to Denton to meet up with Vic, from there we drove down towards Houston to attend two seperate kink munches. Then we went over to a pair of Vic's friends apartment and had a bit of fun.
Odd notations about that evening.
1: Seems there were unspoken bad things from the hosts. Can't say what they were, just that it was there.
2: My play with Vic was good, but there was an awkwardness that was present... largely from the people around us totally not being used to that level of violence in kink, and partially from Vic's persistent reservations about me (but that I will let Vic explain in his own LJ if he feels the need.
3: There was a young girl there who is creating a comic, dealing with a fantasy world that children who have been exposed to things that would tend to strip them of innocense are guided to when they dream... it's a brilliant storyline and provided me with a concept for a Werewolf the Foresaken meta plot NPC introduction, and a viable reason for Luna to choose to allow adolecent children to have their first change.
4: We left shortly after 4am on very good terms with everyone... got back to the Dorm and passed the fuck out.
When we woke up this afternoon, we sorta muddled through checking e-mail and catching up on things unrelated to us... then got on the subject of reservations... especially regarding Vic allowing himself to accept me and welcome me fully.
I won't get into what we discussed regarding him... but I did have an interesting revelation about myself.
I was musing on why I don't have any real desire to push a "relationship", and beyond the obvious and logical reasons of him just getting out of a long term relationship last December and needing time. I figured out that it's because I don't want Vic to feel obligated to do anything with regards to me. If we do develop a relationship, then I want it to be because Vic wants it... because he wants to dedicate that kind of time and energy to me... not because I desire it and he feels obligated to feed my desire.
All in all, after the conversation was done, while things didn't get resolved, it did prove that we are capable of listening to one another, and the ability for us to open up to one another continues to increase.
Of course tonight he's off at an all girls kink party. I did note that if he wants to identify male he's going to have to start accepting that he will need to start experiencing some of the prejudices of men... because it's not cool to fall back on having a pussy to avoid it. ;) Not that I think he does that... but other people will continue to do it for him I suspect just based on his physical appearance for quite some time.
This is not to say that being a trans boy doesn't have it's own prejudices with it... but that's also part of it.
I'm just in the dorm room playing Pirates of the Burning Sea and updating my journal.
Incidentally... I'm Laurey Sullivan and Michael Sullivan - French faction on the Rackham server.
Odd notations about that evening.
1: Seems there were unspoken bad things from the hosts. Can't say what they were, just that it was there.
2: My play with Vic was good, but there was an awkwardness that was present... largely from the people around us totally not being used to that level of violence in kink, and partially from Vic's persistent reservations about me (but that I will let Vic explain in his own LJ if he feels the need.
3: There was a young girl there who is creating a comic, dealing with a fantasy world that children who have been exposed to things that would tend to strip them of innocense are guided to when they dream... it's a brilliant storyline and provided me with a concept for a Werewolf the Foresaken meta plot NPC introduction, and a viable reason for Luna to choose to allow adolecent children to have their first change.
4: We left shortly after 4am on very good terms with everyone... got back to the Dorm and passed the fuck out.
When we woke up this afternoon, we sorta muddled through checking e-mail and catching up on things unrelated to us... then got on the subject of reservations... especially regarding Vic allowing himself to accept me and welcome me fully.
I won't get into what we discussed regarding him... but I did have an interesting revelation about myself.
I was musing on why I don't have any real desire to push a "relationship", and beyond the obvious and logical reasons of him just getting out of a long term relationship last December and needing time. I figured out that it's because I don't want Vic to feel obligated to do anything with regards to me. If we do develop a relationship, then I want it to be because Vic wants it... because he wants to dedicate that kind of time and energy to me... not because I desire it and he feels obligated to feed my desire.
All in all, after the conversation was done, while things didn't get resolved, it did prove that we are capable of listening to one another, and the ability for us to open up to one another continues to increase.
Of course tonight he's off at an all girls kink party. I did note that if he wants to identify male he's going to have to start accepting that he will need to start experiencing some of the prejudices of men... because it's not cool to fall back on having a pussy to avoid it. ;) Not that I think he does that... but other people will continue to do it for him I suspect just based on his physical appearance for quite some time.
This is not to say that being a trans boy doesn't have it's own prejudices with it... but that's also part of it.
I'm just in the dorm room playing Pirates of the Burning Sea and updating my journal.
Incidentally... I'm Laurey Sullivan and Michael Sullivan - French faction on the Rackham server.