and we say if its not enough
and if you care
dont let them know
dont give yourself away.
today was an odd mixture of emotions. i got to spend the day with a friend. which is good. because i'm starting to fear that i have less and less of those. we watched pirates of the carribean and made cookies and ate hamburgers. and just existed. i like to think thats all i need. just existence. it was comfortable there.
its the rest of it that sort of messed with my head. the voicemail on my phone isnt working. i have to go find a way to fix it. which is a pain in the ass. i got a 2 on my AP calc test. which mostly means i will be taking precalc next year. what a waste. i hate that i cant get psyched for college. i hate where i'm going. i hate what i'm doing. but i hate that i dont know how to change it. oh and i had to work today. even though it was my day off. i got called in as an emergency around 9 ish. loing story short, they are gonna get rid of jean now. which bothers me because i reallly enjoy her. shes that person that makes everything fun. and now i'm not gonna see her as much. because we would only really talk at work. and we barely ever got to work together. and at work shes the only one i really enjoyed. i used to enjoy working with everyone. now i still do i guess but it wasnt as fun unless she was there. i dunno its hard to explain but it sucks to be losing her.
this red sox game is starting to piss me off. so are my one million bug bites. i want to pretend that i will get to work my shift with jean tomorow. because i dont want to work without her. but odds are that wont happen.
whatever. i'll hold on with both hands to your memory.
amisorra
maddie
i feel like baby in dirty dancing. but i wont be able to be as brave as her.
dont let them know
dont give yourself away.
today was an odd mixture of emotions. i got to spend the day with a friend. which is good. because i'm starting to fear that i have less and less of those. we watched pirates of the carribean and made cookies and ate hamburgers. and just existed. i like to think thats all i need. just existence. it was comfortable there.
its the rest of it that sort of messed with my head. the voicemail on my phone isnt working. i have to go find a way to fix it. which is a pain in the ass. i got a 2 on my AP calc test. which mostly means i will be taking precalc next year. what a waste. i hate that i cant get psyched for college. i hate where i'm going. i hate what i'm doing. but i hate that i dont know how to change it. oh and i had to work today. even though it was my day off. i got called in as an emergency around 9 ish. loing story short, they are gonna get rid of jean now. which bothers me because i reallly enjoy her. shes that person that makes everything fun. and now i'm not gonna see her as much. because we would only really talk at work. and we barely ever got to work together. and at work shes the only one i really enjoyed. i used to enjoy working with everyone. now i still do i guess but it wasnt as fun unless she was there. i dunno its hard to explain but it sucks to be losing her.
this red sox game is starting to piss me off. so are my one million bug bites. i want to pretend that i will get to work my shift with jean tomorow. because i dont want to work without her. but odds are that wont happen.
whatever. i'll hold on with both hands to your memory.
amisorra
maddie
i feel like baby in dirty dancing. but i wont be able to be as brave as her.