truth is never vain

[spinsincircles]

happy fourth! a bit delayed i know. but i just woke up. i worked for ever. in the worst conditions. and closed with bitchy. and a woman who was even more anal that she was. and i had a person i really wanted to call. to make sure she's ok. but every time i was about to tattles walked by. and then when i finally got through and heard her voice, i had to hang up in the middle cuz tattles was coming again. then there was this dreadful 5 hours when i couldnt reach her. and i was scared. why do i worry so much about my friends? i guess because they are the biggest part of my world. and i have this wierd instinct that makes me want to protect them from the whole world. but thats stupid. somewhere inside i know i cant. but it doesnt stop me.

as far as celebrating i didnt end up going to boston. i didnt end up going to elephant rock cuz i chickened out. i watched it on tv. all by my onesies. which wasnt so bad i guess. i was really tired. its just that thrill of being somewhere with people you care about that ignites this ...excitement in me. i love that feeling. maybe thats another reason i'm so attatched to my friends. cuz i'm so afraid that i'm losing all of them. and i'm so scared of being lonely. thats my worst fear. so i'm trying to hold onto anything i can. because i have always been here. and i have always cared. and maybe it goes un noticed.

amisorra
maddie

thank you for my necklace