One more week
As much as I'm trying not to, I'm still thinking about Rudy. It's still not easy. Even though I'm super excited to go dancing, see my friends, see my parents, and show DeShaun around SF, there's still the fact there that I'm going to have to see Rudy in person at the dances. I can hope that we will only have to see each other from across the room, but given that we'll both be going dancing three nights in a row at the same places, and even possibly doing daytime dancing in the same places, there's a high likelihood that we'll come into quite close proximity with each other. And I'm nervous about that awkwardness. I doubt he'll try to talk to me, but still.
I had a dream about him this morning, actually. I dreamt that I was in SF at this dance event that we're both registered for, and at the event, he asked if we could talk. Then he proceeded to tell me that he broke it off with Melanie. I hadn't known he was with anyone named Melanie, but in the dream apparently he had been dating Melanie at the same time as me, and he was more serious about his relationship with her when he'd been dating me... and now that he and I broke up, apparently he realized he'd rather have me so he broke up with Melanie, and he was going to try to get me back. I was horrified and started crying and didn't ever want to see or speak to him again.
Clearly this is something that won't happen, but it is evidence that I'm thinking about this and I'm feeling fears. It's quite annoying.
Anyway, I really am happy about this trip and I'm even happier that the hardest part of my week is over now, and I just have one more week until I leave! I signed myself up to teach a workshop at the annual Teachers' Conference that is happening next Tuesday, and since I signed myself up for it, I've regretted doing so. It felt very daunting to come up with a workshop for teachers, when I've only been teaching for a year and a half. But today, I did a practice run of my workshop with my colleagues, and it was exactly what I needed. I was really nervous beforehand, but doing the practice run helped me see exactly what I need to do to prepare more for the Teachers' Conference, what I can change to make it better, etc. Now I feel much more confident (though still a bit nervous) about the Conference. :) I've just got to make it through this weekend, the Conference, and then two more classes before I leave! One of those classes will be observed by my boss so we can do my 6 month appraisal (even though now it's been 7 months!) so I'm a little nervous about that, but I'm sure it'll be fine.
Whew. It's weird to think that it's already been seven months that I've been in China. Time is really flying, even after the breakup, which is nice. I've officially been single for over a week now and I'm filling my time easily enough with work and spending time with friends, or chatting with friends on skype. Aaron, Elsje and DeShaun have been particularly awesome lately. :)
I had a dream about him this morning, actually. I dreamt that I was in SF at this dance event that we're both registered for, and at the event, he asked if we could talk. Then he proceeded to tell me that he broke it off with Melanie. I hadn't known he was with anyone named Melanie, but in the dream apparently he had been dating Melanie at the same time as me, and he was more serious about his relationship with her when he'd been dating me... and now that he and I broke up, apparently he realized he'd rather have me so he broke up with Melanie, and he was going to try to get me back. I was horrified and started crying and didn't ever want to see or speak to him again.
Clearly this is something that won't happen, but it is evidence that I'm thinking about this and I'm feeling fears. It's quite annoying.
Anyway, I really am happy about this trip and I'm even happier that the hardest part of my week is over now, and I just have one more week until I leave! I signed myself up to teach a workshop at the annual Teachers' Conference that is happening next Tuesday, and since I signed myself up for it, I've regretted doing so. It felt very daunting to come up with a workshop for teachers, when I've only been teaching for a year and a half. But today, I did a practice run of my workshop with my colleagues, and it was exactly what I needed. I was really nervous beforehand, but doing the practice run helped me see exactly what I need to do to prepare more for the Teachers' Conference, what I can change to make it better, etc. Now I feel much more confident (though still a bit nervous) about the Conference. :) I've just got to make it through this weekend, the Conference, and then two more classes before I leave! One of those classes will be observed by my boss so we can do my 6 month appraisal (even though now it's been 7 months!) so I'm a little nervous about that, but I'm sure it'll be fine.
Whew. It's weird to think that it's already been seven months that I've been in China. Time is really flying, even after the breakup, which is nice. I've officially been single for over a week now and I'm filling my time easily enough with work and spending time with friends, or chatting with friends on skype. Aaron, Elsje and DeShaun have been particularly awesome lately. :)