the random-girl game
there was a dance last night.
i met ryan. there was One in the entire huge cafeteria full of boys, and somehow the only person i ended up slow-dancing with at all was an mssm kid. go figure. i wasn't playing the random guy game. i was enjoying just dancing with my sister and mimi (even john and dean graduated and aren't around anymore- i don't even have any "stalkers" at the moment) and wasn't planning on dancing with anyone. ryan followed us around all night after that... and he wasn't just slightly-awkwardly harmless like john and dean. here's what i didn't know before when he came up to keely, mimi, and i to see if anyone would dance with him and i watched them really trying not to so i was like, fine, and volunteered. i didn't know that earlier he'd asked mimi to dirty dance with him (sending her into guilt thinking that she must be doing something bad to make him think she would do that), and later he asked megan out and when she said, "sorry, i always go with david" (now she has to make sure he invites her), he asked krysten to the halloween dance. they both danced with him twice while i was moving around through different groups of ppl- whoever was dancing the most, closest to the lights and music, so i got to stay away for awhile. every time we listen to classic rock on the radio on trips i spend the whole time thinking about how you would dance with someone to it.
neways, he told me he came with someone and he was really nice to her but she ditched him as soon as they got there and spent a lot of time hiding out in the bathroom with a friend. so i feel bad for him and he's from mssm and all through the song and conversation he just keeps getting closer, uncomfortably closer, but because of those two things i haven't worried at all or kept him at a distance, not that i really could have. he started saying things like, "it's alright that she left~ i'm having a Good time now *brings me closer* (with the look you'd expect). i was sad earlier but i'm either extremely depressed or extremely happy, and i'm happy right now *he didn't wink, but it would have fit* (i forget that he said just went there from caribou this year.)" it doesn't sound creepy unless you're hearing the way he was saying it and smiling at me, and his hands have moved from my waist to my lower back, i know it wasn't imagined and Was intentional. i just couldn't wait for the music to stop. so i learned something. i have this kindof reverse discrimination effect about mssm guys. i'm more wary around other people. i figure it's alright, they are harmless and if they're coming off as something you don't like, they don't mean to be so just kindof look over it cuz they'll be really nice people. well, you can't assume that either. i can't believe i Was, why assume anything? but when i knew what school he was from i automatically felt safer. i didn't take note of him saying he thought chris hated him because chris gives a lot of ppl that impression without meaning to, but that was also a good sign i guess. he wouldn't like someone like that, even if he didn't exactly know it, just the type of person i don't think he'd like. maybe the girl he came with figured out he was kindof gross too and while you think that's mean of her, if he was being like that and she was starting to have to worry, it's pefectly okay if it's to keep yourself out of a bad situation. so that was another good sign i ignored because of 4 stupid letters. weird. well i figured it out in the end and didn't have any more problems at least. but i'm sure we will.
an old problem: i ran into krysten and dean at walmart the other day, they were on their way to a soccer game. she said she was trying to reach me to see if i was coming and dean said he'd seen me there, so they found me. he showed me that he has my number in his phone. we talked about the dance there, if she was going and had a dress yet, and that we were all going as a group of girls this time. so later, she says, dean told her he's liked me for a really long time and wanted to go to the dance with me so i asked her why he didn't say anything at the time she said he didn't know i was single. he'd said to her, too bad she's going out with that guy. kyrsten: what guy? she's not going out with anyone. thanks krysten. thanks a lot. so apparently he was wondering if he should call me but didn't know what to say. i hope he doesn't. i don't know what i'd say. i don't want to go out with dean. let's just hope he stays too nervous and shy to do it. haha, just had a thought: the dean thing won't work twice will it? saved me having to worry about it for quite some time. i still wear that outfit on specific days but it's never mattered.
the other day in homeroom molly and andrew were talking. they sit next to each other but i haven't heard them talk to each other since before they broke up. people who have talked about them agree too that everyone else was more upset about them breaking up then either of them seemed to be. he's totally different now- he's a jerk and he hangs out with nick weeks and smokes weed and drinks. she looks like a different person when she's talking to him tho, even tho he didn't. i don't know anyone very well in my homeroom, i usually talk to forrest. no one has any really close friends of theirs so we all just kindof sit there and listen to whoever Is talking, so even tho they were across the room and i was making a cheat sheet for physics i caught some of it. he was suprised she was smoking now and asked her how long. she said since summer and laughed, not in a mean way, at him and said so it's okay if you do it but i can't? he was upset that she was smoking. i guess she waited a long time for that. it would make smoking worth it.
EDIT: 10 minutes after posting, dean called. he invited me to go to church with him. interesting idea... so that was fine, we were going to church anyways so i sat by him and i was late and left before he did so we barely even talked. but then he showed up at my house. he wanted to just talk, so we stood in the entryway for awhile because in my house there's nowhere else to really Go, and of course stuff going on in my house is interesting and we were lured into the kitchen for awhile and watched cartoons with keely who made us eat ice cream on a spoon and i think she talked to him more than i did and he pretty much carries conversations anyways so we talked about movies and whatever came up, he talked to my dad about sports which he was shouting at from the living room, and my mom had gone to pick one a movie and when he went out to his car to get a CD he wanted me to listen to a song on i tried to get her to Do something, but there really wasn't anything we could do without being rude and he ended up staying and watching the movie with us. :S. since he hasn't actually asked me out at this point i haven't been able to turn him down yet. but you'll be glad to know that i'm going to be a big girl and say no i'm not interested straight away.
as a sidenote, the movie was Thanks For Not Smoking, and it would have been perfect- it was funny and everyone liked it. dean was making me sad sitting on our new couch beside me, but i also barely noticed him. i only noticed him in church, that he doesn't sing very well, and how the one thing ryan had to say about chris, besides that he was across the hall and might hate him, was that he had a really nice voice, which made me realize how often i actually think of that. i'm going to tell his dad about the movie next time i see him because they'd all really like it and that's the only way to get the information there.
that whole thing totally threw me off. it doesn't even fit in my head, i kept thinking to myself, he could be here... and Dean is in my kitchen?! i hate weekends, i hate thinking constantly at odd times, he could be here... he could be home today. it was so wierd. like, deja-vu, only the wrong person. by the time he left i was just thinking, 'finally', and 'i never want anyone else in my house again'.
i met ryan. there was One in the entire huge cafeteria full of boys, and somehow the only person i ended up slow-dancing with at all was an mssm kid. go figure. i wasn't playing the random guy game. i was enjoying just dancing with my sister and mimi (even john and dean graduated and aren't around anymore- i don't even have any "stalkers" at the moment) and wasn't planning on dancing with anyone. ryan followed us around all night after that... and he wasn't just slightly-awkwardly harmless like john and dean. here's what i didn't know before when he came up to keely, mimi, and i to see if anyone would dance with him and i watched them really trying not to so i was like, fine, and volunteered. i didn't know that earlier he'd asked mimi to dirty dance with him (sending her into guilt thinking that she must be doing something bad to make him think she would do that), and later he asked megan out and when she said, "sorry, i always go with david" (now she has to make sure he invites her), he asked krysten to the halloween dance. they both danced with him twice while i was moving around through different groups of ppl- whoever was dancing the most, closest to the lights and music, so i got to stay away for awhile. every time we listen to classic rock on the radio on trips i spend the whole time thinking about how you would dance with someone to it.
neways, he told me he came with someone and he was really nice to her but she ditched him as soon as they got there and spent a lot of time hiding out in the bathroom with a friend. so i feel bad for him and he's from mssm and all through the song and conversation he just keeps getting closer, uncomfortably closer, but because of those two things i haven't worried at all or kept him at a distance, not that i really could have. he started saying things like, "it's alright that she left~ i'm having a Good time now *brings me closer* (with the look you'd expect). i was sad earlier but i'm either extremely depressed or extremely happy, and i'm happy right now *he didn't wink, but it would have fit* (i forget that he said just went there from caribou this year.)" it doesn't sound creepy unless you're hearing the way he was saying it and smiling at me, and his hands have moved from my waist to my lower back, i know it wasn't imagined and Was intentional. i just couldn't wait for the music to stop. so i learned something. i have this kindof reverse discrimination effect about mssm guys. i'm more wary around other people. i figure it's alright, they are harmless and if they're coming off as something you don't like, they don't mean to be so just kindof look over it cuz they'll be really nice people. well, you can't assume that either. i can't believe i Was, why assume anything? but when i knew what school he was from i automatically felt safer. i didn't take note of him saying he thought chris hated him because chris gives a lot of ppl that impression without meaning to, but that was also a good sign i guess. he wouldn't like someone like that, even if he didn't exactly know it, just the type of person i don't think he'd like. maybe the girl he came with figured out he was kindof gross too and while you think that's mean of her, if he was being like that and she was starting to have to worry, it's pefectly okay if it's to keep yourself out of a bad situation. so that was another good sign i ignored because of 4 stupid letters. weird. well i figured it out in the end and didn't have any more problems at least. but i'm sure we will.
an old problem: i ran into krysten and dean at walmart the other day, they were on their way to a soccer game. she said she was trying to reach me to see if i was coming and dean said he'd seen me there, so they found me. he showed me that he has my number in his phone. we talked about the dance there, if she was going and had a dress yet, and that we were all going as a group of girls this time. so later, she says, dean told her he's liked me for a really long time and wanted to go to the dance with me so i asked her why he didn't say anything at the time she said he didn't know i was single. he'd said to her, too bad she's going out with that guy. kyrsten: what guy? she's not going out with anyone. thanks krysten. thanks a lot. so apparently he was wondering if he should call me but didn't know what to say. i hope he doesn't. i don't know what i'd say. i don't want to go out with dean. let's just hope he stays too nervous and shy to do it. haha, just had a thought: the dean thing won't work twice will it? saved me having to worry about it for quite some time. i still wear that outfit on specific days but it's never mattered.
the other day in homeroom molly and andrew were talking. they sit next to each other but i haven't heard them talk to each other since before they broke up. people who have talked about them agree too that everyone else was more upset about them breaking up then either of them seemed to be. he's totally different now- he's a jerk and he hangs out with nick weeks and smokes weed and drinks. she looks like a different person when she's talking to him tho, even tho he didn't. i don't know anyone very well in my homeroom, i usually talk to forrest. no one has any really close friends of theirs so we all just kindof sit there and listen to whoever Is talking, so even tho they were across the room and i was making a cheat sheet for physics i caught some of it. he was suprised she was smoking now and asked her how long. she said since summer and laughed, not in a mean way, at him and said so it's okay if you do it but i can't? he was upset that she was smoking. i guess she waited a long time for that. it would make smoking worth it.
EDIT: 10 minutes after posting, dean called. he invited me to go to church with him. interesting idea... so that was fine, we were going to church anyways so i sat by him and i was late and left before he did so we barely even talked. but then he showed up at my house. he wanted to just talk, so we stood in the entryway for awhile because in my house there's nowhere else to really Go, and of course stuff going on in my house is interesting and we were lured into the kitchen for awhile and watched cartoons with keely who made us eat ice cream on a spoon and i think she talked to him more than i did and he pretty much carries conversations anyways so we talked about movies and whatever came up, he talked to my dad about sports which he was shouting at from the living room, and my mom had gone to pick one a movie and when he went out to his car to get a CD he wanted me to listen to a song on i tried to get her to Do something, but there really wasn't anything we could do without being rude and he ended up staying and watching the movie with us. :S. since he hasn't actually asked me out at this point i haven't been able to turn him down yet. but you'll be glad to know that i'm going to be a big girl and say no i'm not interested straight away.
as a sidenote, the movie was Thanks For Not Smoking, and it would have been perfect- it was funny and everyone liked it. dean was making me sad sitting on our new couch beside me, but i also barely noticed him. i only noticed him in church, that he doesn't sing very well, and how the one thing ryan had to say about chris, besides that he was across the hall and might hate him, was that he had a really nice voice, which made me realize how often i actually think of that. i'm going to tell his dad about the movie next time i see him because they'd all really like it and that's the only way to get the information there.
that whole thing totally threw me off. it doesn't even fit in my head, i kept thinking to myself, he could be here... and Dean is in my kitchen?! i hate weekends, i hate thinking constantly at odd times, he could be here... he could be home today. it was so wierd. like, deja-vu, only the wrong person. by the time he left i was just thinking, 'finally', and 'i never want anyone else in my house again'.