A Proposition of a Snape-y Kind
Hee! I finally sent in my question to snapecast. I was fairly sure I heard something about a Valentine's day episode, so maybe it will make it in time for that. They do have alot of owlpost, though... Even still, I thought it was a good question. "That's the point, Joss! It's COMPELLING!" The question is as follows:
"I was writing some fanfiction and it got me wondering about the childhood relationship between Severus and Lily. I would only assume that they spent quite a bit, if not all of their time together during the summer in particular. That being the case, do you think Lily ever included Severus in some of her more feminine activities? If so, does the greasy git still know how to give a pedicure, do a french braid, and tell the difference between a pair of spring pumps and a pair of autumn ones?"
Stop looking at me like that. No, really. Can't you maybe see the two hanging out at her house, and Lily all, "Can you help me pick out an outfit for my cousin's wedding?" And Sev all, "IF THAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY THEN OF COURSE I WOULD." Pathetic, but cute.
I guess to give you a peek into my fantastically fangirly and possibly/probably/admittedly delusional brain, I'll finally post the summer!fic. (My only two comments in advance are first about the monstrous Star Wars geeks I made the two of them into. Shoot me, please. Second, about the little part where Lily pats Severus on the head? If he weren't so down at that moment, he would surely have said, "I would prefer if you would refrain from petting me like a rabbit.")
Edit: BTW? I'm perfectly aware that Star Wars hadn't come out yet. I realized that after I had gotten all the ideas, and then I was just like, "screw it, I'll just put it in there anyway." =D
It seemed that the heat in his bedroom was unbearable, with the summer air devoid of any comforting breeze. Summer always had its ups and down on days like today. On one hand, there was no schoolwork to be done, and he had absolutely nothing to do. On the other hand, there was no schoolwork to be done, and he had absolutely nothing to do.
Severus Snape had read all of the books on his desk at least twice, and the potions books probably three times over with added analysis in the margins. They were his mother’s books, mostly, so she didn’t mind. At least it was something productive, or at least something to keep him busy. Lily had gone away on vacation to America (California to be specific,) and he certainly needed some busywork.
As for now, he was leaning back in his desk chair, bare feet placed carefully so as not to wrinkle the various leaves of parchment strewn about the surface. Merlin only knew he didn’t feel like moving to organize them. Instead, he merely wiped his forehead with this short sleeve of his favorite t-shirt- a blue vintage Beatles one that his mother had gotten him for Christmas. It was that same Christmas that Lily had given him a neat cloth belt in his Slytherin green and grey, and it was currently holding up a pair of baggy jeans that had been carefully cut off and hemmed at the knee. He was really hoping he could grow into them a bit more, though.
Severus watched as a bumblebee buzzed in through the window, seemed bored with the small vase of wildflowers on the boy’s nightstand, and buzzed out again. Sadly enough, it was the most interesting thing he had seen all Saturday afternoon.
Saturday. That meant his father was home. Or at least, he was at the moment. Sometimes on Saturdays he went out and prowled the streets, finding more drinking buddies for that night. But today he was home, because Friday night had been spent drinking far more than humanly possible, and even with the enormous tolerance Tobias Snape had accumulated over the years, he was still in the living room with a hangover.
The day was hot. Merlin, why did it have to be so hot?
But, to Severus’ delight, a cool draft blew through the open window, just barely rustling the heavy, dusty curtains. And then, as if that weren’t surprise enough, a small grey pebble sailed over the windowsill and hit the wooden floor with a plonk.
After a moment of grasping the situation, he grinned widely and leaped off his chair, rushing to the window. And sure enough, his suspicions were correct.
“Lily!”
The redhead laughed from the seat of her bicycle- the red one she had gotten three years ago, on her twelfth birthday. Last year, she had made some repairs: the handlebar streamers had come off and she had refitted it with a basket and larger seat, this one big enough to seat the both of them (but of course, this wasn’t the reason she had given her parents.)
“I got home yesterday,” she called up to him, but hopefully quietly enough so that Tobias wouldn’t notice. Then again, she was rather hard to miss, with her pink tank top, flaming ponytail, and large guitar strapped to her back.
“Oh really?” Severus picked up the stone and rolled it through his fingers, all while leaning on the windowsill. “You didn’t come directly here? I’m hurt.”
She grinned and looked at the cobblestones for a moment before looking back up, only to find him gone in search for shoes. “Pardon me for wanting to unpack and put my feet up! And I didn’t come earlier today because I took a nice cold shower, so nyah.”
“Ugh, me too,” his voice floated down to her, almost whining. “It’s boiling!”
“BOOOOOY!”
Both teenagers froze as Tobias’ voice boomed through the house. And then, the ensuing panic.
“HURRY UP, SEV!”
“I’M COMING!”
He ignored the rest of his sandal buckle and bolted over to his desk, snatching up a hair tie and then a thick stack of sheet music which was hastily thrown into an old-looking book, which was in turn stuffed into the front of his jeans.
And with both hands free, he threw on the old gardening gloves by his window and slid down the rusty rainpipe, just as his bedroom door slammed open.
“COME BACK HERE, YOU STUPID WHELP!”
There was a moment as the two stared up at the drunken man half hanging out of Severus’ bedroom window. And then he turned and thundered towards the door.
“Sev, get on, get on!”
“I’ll drive!”
He stuffed the gloves in his back pocket and jumped onto the front of the seat, Lily pushing the bike forward to gain momentum and then jumping on the back. “Go, go, go!”
The front door of 47 Spinner’s End was torn open, but there was nothing there but the far-off snapping made by the chocolate frog card stuck in Lily’s front wheel.
Severus dumped the book in the basket, and then let out a whoop as the adrenaline pulsed through his veins. Lily laughed. She had her arms wrapped around his chest, her chin resting on his shoulder, her thighs pressed against his. “Busting you out of there is sort of an art form, isn’t it?” she asked into his ear. This in itself made him smile.
“Yes, I think it is.”
“Then we’re damn good at it.”
He chuckled at this and shook his head. “Remember the first time I tried to slide down the pipe without gloves?”
“Ooh.” Her face screwed up in pain just remembering. “It’s a good thing my dad’s a doctor, or-” She gasped.
“What!?”
“Oh my God, we would’ve had to amputate!”
“Lily!”
“It’s true!” She yanked the hair tie off of his wrist and hooked her legs over his so that she could lean back and put his hair up. “The rust would have made it all infected and- Oh! You wouldn’t even be able to do potions anymore! You’d have to learn to use your toes! I can see it now: Barnum and Bailey Circus presents: The handless boy who can draw- ambidextrously!- with his toes! Two sickles for a demonstration!”
“I can’t even draw with my hands.”
She merely laughed and fell silent, finishing her work on his hair and then burying her nose in the back of his shoulder. The houses flew by them- whizzing in shades of brown and grey- and soon they reached smoother ground, over the main road and towards the meeting point between their two houses- the field and its giant tree.
The wind on their faces felt amazing, and all thoughts of how hot the day was, were immediately gone. The sky was a perfect blue with hardly a cloud, and the further away from the rotting neighborhood they got, the less haze of summer soup seemed to stand in their way. It was quiet for a bit as they absorbed all of this.
Then finally, “You smell good,” murmured Lily.
Severus smiled. “Shower. If it’s wet, though, I’m probably just sweaty.”
“You, me, and the rest of this bloody frying pan of an island.”
They both gave a little sigh of laughter, before Severus noticed the paper bag that was poking out from underneath his book in the basket. “What’s in the bag?”
“Pop,” she said simply.
“Cold?”
“Duh.”
“Well excuse me, princess- for not immediately assuming that your carbonated beverages are the one single collection of slow-moving molecules within an approximate five kilometer parameter.”
“Don’t be such a smartass.”
She gave a roll of her eyes just as he turned into a break in the stone wall that ran parallel to the sidewalk. They slowly made their way through the worn path amidst the tall, golden grass, and soon they emerged into the field itself.
It really was a perfect place, sometimes even better than the shady copse by the river. This place was like home.
They rode up and dismounted, before Severus carefully leaned the bike against the tree’s massive trunk. The tree really was the hub of everything. On the two biggest branches on either side, they had strung up identical cords of colored Christmas lights, (magical upon further inspection; a gift from Eileen) as well as two lanterns that allowed them to see when it got dark. At least, that was part of it. While Severus’ house was a little less than a mile from the field- with a good shield of trees and the stream between them- Lily’s house was adjacent to it, so either of her parents could look out in the evening and see the two of them sitting there.
Lily had already set down her guitar and climbed up to her favorite branch, where she was unzipping a waterproof bag and allowing a worn quilt to spill out and fall to the ground. “Not much point in the bag right now,” she said bleakly, more to herself than to Severus. “We haven’t had any rain for ages.”
Severus merely grunted his agreement and fished the two glass bottles out of the basket. “Orange for you, I assume?”
“And root beer for you. You like that, don’t you?”
“Sure. I’m not much for pop, but root beer is fine.” He gave a wry grin and sat down on the blanket. “To be honest, I could be drinking cold sewage and it would taste great.”
“Eww…”
She dropped next to him and grabbed the orange bottle, popping off the cap and taking a long sip. “So,” she said, feeling refreshed. “What’s with the book? What’s so important that you’d risk death a la Grim Reaper?”
Severus shook his head in amusement at his father’s nickname. “Trust me, he wasn’t on top of his game today. He’s worse when he comes down the stairs in the morning with his left foot on the last step, and when he has water rather than juice at breakfast you know he’s really bad. Today, both was a no-go.” There was a moment or so of silence.
Then, “You’ve come up with a postulate to measure your dad’s ass-face-y-ness?”
“That’s what I do,” he said flatly, but he couldn’t help but laugh. “I shouldn’t laugh. It’s not funny, usually.”
“No, it’s not… Is your mum alright?”
“She’s fine. We’re always fine.” Lily let out a hum of sympathy and leaned over to fondly pat his head, making him groan in false annoyance.
“So the book?” she asked, making her voice as chirpy as possibly.
“Right. It’s just some potions stuff, but it talks about the Potions Guild and the Masters a little bit, so I thought you should look through it.”
“Did you get it from your mum?” she asked, as she reached over and took it from him.
“Where else?”
“Huh.” She always did that when she was interested in something: her brow would furrow, her bottom lip would puff out, and her head would thoughtfully bob up and down, all before the tell-tale ‘huh.’ She flipped through the pages, stopped to scan one or two, and then gave a second ‘huh.’ “What about the music?” came her next question, even though she had not bothered to look up from a particular passage about bezoars.
“It seems my grandfather used to play the mandolin, and since that’s sort of like a guitar, my mum said you should take a look at some of his old sheet music. It’s all old Wizarding tunes, and all.”
“Huh.” This time she did put the book down, and she curiously accepted the yellowing parchment. “Mane of the Kelpsie,” she mumbled, looking through the titles. “I Send My Patronus To You.”
“There’s one about Fire Blossoms that sounds nice.”
“Oh, right! We learned about those in Herbology. I guess they do have a hint of poetry to them.” She picked up the song in question and looked over it, before smiling slightly. “You’re right. This is pretty.”
She took a swig of pop and reached over for her guitar, settling it into the hollow left by her crossed legs. Severus watched, wholly enchanted, as she began to pluck out the tune while still deciphering the notes on the page. But soon enough she found the melody, and her playing became smooth and seamless.
Lily played through it once, and then her hands fell still and she yawned widely. “Jet lag,” she explained. “Just starting to catch up with me.” Severus gave a soft chuckle, but was surprised when the redhead suddenly held out the guitar. “You’ll have to serenade me,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Lily, you know-”
“You’re not bad- come on, I’ve been teaching you since I got the damn thing. Besides, I hear music comes more naturally to people who are good at math.”
“You’re good at math too.”
“Not as good as you.”
“Well…” Severus blushed a little. “You’re better at Herbology.”
Lily wagged a complacent finger and smirked. “On that, I can’t argue. Oh!” She forced the wooden instrument onto Severus’ lap and scurried up the tree, pawing through the bag until she emerged with a clunky walkie-talkie. With a flip of the ‘on’ switch, she tossed it down to Severus, who caught it and dumped it back on the blanket.
“Sometimes I think your parents don’t trust me,” he said when she dropped beside him again. She didn’t miss how his voice was a little bitter.
“Of course they do.” She tried to make her voice encouraging. “It’s just… We come from different families, and it’s not like Petunia helps at all.” The Slytherin made a sound of disgust at the mention of her sister. “Maybe it’s just because I’m away for most of the year, and I’m the baby of the family, and my parents know so little about magic…” She trailed off and sighed. “Well, I trust you, at least. Doesn’t that count for something?”
There was a moment in which he seemed almost taken aback, and then he smiled as warmly and contentedly as one might have thought possible. “Yes. I think it does.”
“And besides, my mum only turns it on when she needs to call me in for something. It’s not like anyone’s spying on us.” Severus nodded, whilst the Gryffindor fell back on the blanket with a small poff and gestured towards the guitar again. “So are you going to try, or what?”
“You’re so bossy,” he drawled. This only made her giggle, and it was soon made apparent that he was only joking anyway. He experimentally fingered the strings for a minute or so before pausing to arrange the music in front of him.
He had never been as good at reading music as Lily, but it might have been because she had played it first that the notes came so easily. It was a slow, sweet-sounding song: one that carried over the light breeze that was picking up to disperse the suffocating heat. Severus wasn’t sure if it was this that was making him smile, or the way that Lily was curled up like a cat in the sun.
Her hair glittered orange in the light and her skin shone just as radiantly, having been tanned in the California sun. Her green eyes were hidden behind soft lids, which were shadowed by fair eyelashes that cast dappled patterns across her features. Her dainty hands, ever so perfect and smooth, were resting delicately on the quilt beside her, and her favorite sparkly pink nail polish glittered slightly as the leaves above them shifted. The Slytherin had been so caught up in these details that he stumbled over the next few notes, but he soon righted himself again.
He played through a second time, and just watching Lily’s catnap made him yawn as well. He drained the rest of his root beer and settled down on the blanket beside her, spending the next few minutes just looking into her face. But then, between the calm of the late afternoon, and the lazy drone of the cicadas, and the now-cool breeze mixed with the warm sun on his skin, he eventually fell into a sleep of his own.
…
When his eyes opened again there was little light left in the sky, and both the Christmas lights and one of the lanterns had been lit. He sat up to find Lily against the massive tree trunk, sitting under the light as she poured over the potions book. She looked up to see him there.
“Oh, hey.” She smiled. “Did you know that you can make antacid tablets with ground-up pixie turds?”
“Ah-” It took him a moment before he laughed. “Yes, actually, I did know that.”
She tossed the book aside and went over to the darker side of the tree, before taking something in each hand to carry over to him. It wasn’t until she drew closer that he understood. “I caught fireflies,” she said happily, and put down the two jars.
They lay on their stomachs side by side and stared at the floating bits of light, a child-like wonder shining in their eyes. Glowing, dancing orbs that made patterns in the dark, turning and twisting with a flutter of wings. They were entranced, and it was not until at least ten minutes had passed before either of them spoke.
“They’re so pretty,” said Severus quietly, and looked over to see the faint lights reflecting in her brilliant green eyes. “So pretty.” Lily merely hummed her agreement, not lifting her chin from her arms. Then, with a slightly more confident tone, “I think I’m going to let mine go.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. But, I suppose they’ve been cooped up in here long enough, don’t you?” He propped himself up on his elbows and unscrewed the cover, allowing the bugs to wander upwards and out, back into the field. “Come on,” he cooed, speaking to the last firefly that was meandering towards the bottom. “Go on, get going.” He lightly tapped the side of the jar, and eventually it gave one last flash and flew away. After watching Severus do all of this, Lily followed suit and smiled as her fireflies flew off and joined his. It was quiet for another long time before the buzz of the walkie-talkie interrupted the silence.
“Lily,” it buzzed, sounding like Mrs. Evans. “Time to come in for dinner.”
The Gryffindor didn’t move for a moment, and rather turned to the boy next to her. “Want to sleep over?”
“Hell yeah.”
Lily laughed and heaved herself up, switching on the signal. “Ok, mum. Can Severus sleep over, though?”
There was a pause before her mother’s voice came through. “Alright, but he has to leave before nine tomorrow morning. You have a dentist’s appointment in town.”
“Okay…” She switched of the walkie-talkie and groaned. “I hate the dentist’s.”
A pitying sound came from the back of Severus’ throat, and he rose to scramble back into the tree. “I have some night clothes in here, don’t I?”
“I thought I saw some,” called Lily, folding up the blanket. She soon handed it up to him.
“Oh, here were go.” He pulled out a pair of cotton pants and a slightly greying undershirt, along with a toothbrush, comb, and a few other things tucked into the folds. He replaced the quilt and zipped up the bag before jumping down again.
“All cleaned up,” mumbled Lily, as she slung her guitar over her shoulder. “Now dump your stuff in the basket and let’s go. I’m starving.”
It was not long before they were riding off again, though this time the cool air wasn’t quite as welcome. With the sun gone, the night was beginning to get a little chilly, at least compared to the heat of the day. Even still the short ride was pleasant, dodging between street lamps on the empty street. Severus always loved Lily’s street. Whereas Spinner’s End was dirty and crumbling, and sometimes downright dangerous, Lily’s street- Floyd Avenue- was a pretty, tree-lined suburban neighborhood of white picket fences, green lawns, and smooth pavement.
Part of him sort of wanted to live in a place like this one day. Well, only if Lily wanted to, maybe. He was still rather keen on the idea of their little potions shop by the sea.
They pulled up in her driveway and Lily jumped off, grabbing half of the things in the basket and leaving Severus to flip up the kickstand and take the rest. Sandals were kicked off, stuff was dumped on the side porch bench, and they entered the Evans home.
Severus would never get over how wonderful Lily’s house was. It was so clean and bright and it always smelled good. During the day it smelled like summer air and fresh laundry, while in the evening it smelled like cooking meat and potatoes, with an occasional hint of cinnamon or pumpkin spice.
“Wash up and set the table!” called Mrs. Evans, and within minutes both were done.
It wasn’t so much that Severus felt pressured to pull his weight around the Evans household, it was just so much that had always been so good to him. The Doctor would always patch up his bangs and bruises when he got the chance, and he had even once reset the poor boy’s nose after one of the neighborhood thugs had broken it. The Mrs. was a little more wary of him, but she at least understood that he belonged to a world of magic that she did not, and so she always welcomed him at the family table. After all this, thought Severus, how could one not be grateful? Even if he could not invite Lily into his own home, he could at least be gracious in hers.
It wasn’t too difficult, though. He had been a guest so many times that he knew well enough where the silverware and napkins were, that Lily preferred milk with dinner and Mrs. Evans preferred water… He even knew enough to get out a mug and teabag for Dr. Evans if he came home later.
“What’s he doing here?”
Lily was setting down a bowl of mashed potatoes when she looked up at her older sister. Petunia stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, her face looking rather sunburned and even more pinched than usual. There was only a split second pause before the redhead answered airily, “The same thing he’s always doing. You should have learned by now.”
Severus felt the need to add something nasty, but was interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. “Dad’s home,” called Lily, and Severus, suddenly feeling rather guilty, busied himself with getting another plate.
“Hello!” Doctor Harry Evans appeared behind his eldest daughter, still wearing his white coat. He was a tall man, with brown hair and Lily’s green eyes, as well as a nearly ever-present smile on his lips. He bent to kiss Petunia on the cheek, and then went to Lily to do the same.
Severus often found this coming-home ritual a little embarrassing to watch, whether it was the affection towards Lily that made him uncomfortable, or else his simple lack of exposure to it. In fact, the first time he had met Dr. Evans was when he was coming in the door just like this, and the Slytherin had actually flinched when the man leaned in to kiss his wife, almost expecting him to strike her instead.
“Ah, Severus!”
“Hi, Dr. Evans.”
He chuckled good-heartedly and disappeared into the back hall to shed his coat and briefcase. “It was a scorcher out there today!” he called back. “We must have had at least ten people in with heat stroke… Heaven’s sake, we’re just not used to this kind of weather- one man was out there trying to train for a marathon! A marathon!” He walked back in just in time to take a bowl of peas from Petunia. “It’s not as hot as the States, though.”
Lily gave a little giggle and sat down, with Severus across from her and Petunia to her left. Mrs. Evans seated herself next, but not before scanning the table one last time. She really was a perfectionist- it sometimes came out in Lily’s potions work. The two were rather similar in some ways. Though Lily had inherited her father’s eyes, his sense of humor and his interest in the medical sciences, there was still that womanly nitpicky-ness that occasionally surfaced when she was pointing out the flawed Slytherins that Severus normally spent time with. That, and her temper, as well as her ability to hold a grudge.
But that wasn’t to say she hadn’t gotten good things from her mother either. She had her mother’s smile and soft features, her nurturing spirit, her love for music… Sometimes it seemed that Lily had rather hogged all of the good genes in the family. No wonder Petunia was always so jealous.
Dr. Evans sat down last and bowed his head, in a gesture for quiet so that he could say grace. Severus remembered the first time he had come over for dinner, when he had been (somewhat embarrassingly) oblivious to what was going on. He had quickly caught on, however, and mouthed the words along with everyone else.
“Amen.” Dr. Evans looked up brightly. “So, Tuney, what are you grateful for?”
“I have cheerleading camp next week,” she said quietly, almost ashamed to say it in front of Severus. But either way, he never would have snarked at her in front of her parents.
“I’m grateful that I was able to finish my laundry today,” said Mrs. Evans.
“I’m grateful for being here,” said Severus, the same as he always did. And he meant ever word more than a thousand times over.
“I’m grateful that I could ease back into work without any problems,” said Dr. Evans.
“I’m grateful for the book and the sheet music Sev brought for me,” said Lily. With a full circle of thanks being made, there was a clink of serving spoons and dishes and dinner was in session.
“So, Lily,” asked Mrs. Evans, laying a porkchop on her plate, “What kind of music were you talking about?”
“Oh, right.” She paused to accept the potatoes. “Well, Sev said that his grandfather used to play…?”
“The mandolin.”
“Right. And so because the notes are the same, he brought some of the old music. It’s actually really cool; they’re all classic Wizarding songs.”
Immediately both adults became slightly more interested. It had been pretty much just like this since Lily’s birthday four years ago, when both Severus and his mother had pooled their resources to buy Lily a cheap Wizarding camera. Whereas this was something the Evans’ could not do, they were simply ecstatic, and even more so when they began receiving moving pictures by owlpost. (These were a secret, of course, since Merlin knew what kind of trouble the Snapes would get into if the Ministry found out.)
On the other hand, for every shade that the Evans’ faces grew brighter, Petunia’s face darkened noticeably.
“So magic folk have different music?” asked the doctor, his voice betraying a hint of wide-eyed wonder.
“Not all of it,” said Severus, after taking a sip of water. “I mean, we have as many songs about rosebuds and fireflies as the next person.”
Lily gave a nearly inaudible giggle, followed by, “Fireflies…”
Something popped into Severus’ head, and he merely gestured down to his t-shirt, making Dr. Evans chuckle heartily. “Oh yes, of course! How silly of me…” He chuckled and gave his teacup a swirl. “So you mentioned a book, too. Is that about Wizards?”
“Oh, oh, oh,” Lily quickly swallowed what she had in her mouth. “Okay, this is really cool. I mean, it’s sort of like a normal potions book, but it gives you all these really neat shortcuts and things I probably wouldn’t have thought of. That, and it keeps giving these blurbs all about the Potions Guild.”
Mrs. Evans paused. “The Potions Guild… I know you talk about it quite a bit, but I can’t say I actually know what it is.”
“Oh, well,” Lily seemed to be grasping for words. “Sev, how can I condense it?”
“Um…?”
“Oh! So, it’s like the research team down at Dad’s hospital, but they’re all from… From Barts or something. And only the top ten or so. Maybe less. What’s the highest number they’ve ever had, anyway?”
“Eleven, I’m pretty sure.”
“So yeah, it’s pretty elite. Only real geniuses can get in, but I thiiiiiiink…”
Severus gave her an encouraging smile. “We can, I think.”
Petunia made a slightly disparaging sound. “So if it’s so elite, how do you know if one of you will get in but not the other?”
There was a moment of silent panic between the two. They hadn’t ever thought of that. It was always just, ‘be Potions Masters together.’ It was never a question of whether they would get in or not. And if only one got in, would that one decline to stay with the other?
“I think…” Lily urged Severus to say something.
“We’ll get there when we get there,” he said, allowing only a hint of disdain into his voice.
“If we get there,” Lily quickly added.
“I’m sure it’ll all work out,” said Mrs. Evans warmly, and something about the maternal affection warmed something in the pit of his stomach that even the porkchops could not.
“Well,” said Dr. Evans, “You’re never going to get there if you don’t eat anything!” And with that, he dumped another helping of potatoes onto Severus’ plate.
“I know!” said Lily. “You hardly eat anything at school; it’s probably because you stress yourself out so much.”
Mrs. Evans smiled. “Really, dearie, you ought to take care of yourself first. From what it sounds like, your grades are marvelous anyway.”
“Oh, and I’d expect no less!” boomed the doctor. “But nutrition comes first, and you can’t grow if you don’t get good nutrients! And that’s coming from the doctor!”
“Dad’s right, you’re too skinny.”
“Okay…” He interrupted with a nervous laugh. “You can stop talking about it now…”
There was a general chuckle and conversation when on. Dr. Evans spoke a little about the hospital, stopping only when he went into far too much detail, making both of his daughters giggle in disgust and Mrs. Evans let out a very stern, “Harry.” He merely gave his baritone laugh and asked his wife how her day had been. She had seen some of her friends when she was out grocery shopping, she told them, and stopped to talk a bit about her vacation. This in turn made the family immediately nostalgic, and they filled Severus in on the highlights of their trip to the States. The Golden Gate bridge, the San Diego zoo, the trolleys of San Francisco; all of these things seemed larger than life to the boy, and he could only wish to someday go someplace so glamorous himself.
When dinner was finished, Lily and Severus were tasked with the dish cleanup. They were going about it rather quietly, actually, until the former gave a little gasp and almost dropped the handful of forks she was holding. Severus spun around.
“What!? Lily, what’s wrong!?”
She suddenly began to giggle. “Oh, I forgot to tell you!” He looked at her with wide eyes and a furrowed brow, somewhere between exasperated and incredulous.
“Yes?”
“I got a movie for us to watch.”
His face immediately dropped, and at this point he was just shaking his head. “Did… Did Petunia spike your drink or something? I mean… You’re not usually so… Ditzy.”
“Noooo… I didn’t tell you what movie it was. I got The Empire Strikes Back!”
“Ok, now I know you’ve lost it,” he said sadly. “That doesn’t come out for-”
“It came out two months ago in the States.”
“Oh… Oh! That’s…! That’s brilliant!” He laughed. “So it seems the Americans are good for something after all.”
“Hey.” She whapped him in the shoulder with the dishtowel. “I happened to like the States very much.”
“I’m-” He stopped and gave a little sigh, choosing his words carefully. “I’m just saying that the States are like the Land of the Gryffindors, and- aside from you, of course- they aren’t my favorite kind of people.”
“But they have Star Wars,” she said cheerfully, and then it faded as she saw his wry smile. “It’s alright,” she began again. She put the last two glasses in the dishwasher and began to wipe down the counter. “I understand why you don’t like them. I wouldn’t like them either if I were you. Sometimes I think the Sorting Hat might’ve been wrong like that…”
“I think…” Lily looked at him, a little surprised by the way his brow furrowed. “Vice versa, I suppose. Sometimes I wonder if maybe we…” There was something in his heart and his head that was arguing, but as to what he wasn’t sure. “Maybe we both should have been Ravenclaws! And then we wouldn’t… Be… So…” He trailed of, having started jokingly and then descended into something a bit more sinister. Then, “You’re a perfect Gryffindor,” he said quickly, trying to cover his discomfort. “You’re so brave, and confident, and you… You’re so passionate about everything!”
“Sev?”
“But- I-!”
Lily suddenly became rather frightened by how upset he was becoming, and firmly took a hold of his shoulders. “Sev!” He couldn’t meet her gaze. “Severus,” she said sternly, and immediately his eyes connected with hers. “It’s alright,” she said softly. “You’re a Slytherin. Gryffindors may be brave, but sometimes they think too much with their hearts and their feelings. We’re impulsive. We always go in the front door. Sometimes, we need Slytherins, because they stop and think, and remember that they can get in easier through the back door. They level us out, they are our logic! But even as a Slytherin, you’re just as brave as I am.”
“No I’m not.”
“Yes! You are! Remember right before our Astronomy final, Potter was giving me a hard time? You stood up for me.”
“I distracted him,” Severus said bitterly. “He only stopped picking on you so he could start picking on me.”
“And that makes it even braver. You put yourself on the line to take someone else off. You sacrificed dignity and respect to protect the honor of someone else.”
“You make me sound like some kind of hero.”
“Well…” She sighed heavily. “Sev… I’m not going to say I agree with you on everything. You know I don’t. The friends you’ve chosen are-”
“Don’t, Lily.”
“Sev, you can do better! I can see your face when you’re with them and sometimes you look downright petrified! You don’t want to be with them, do you?”
“I do,” he snapped, and then immediately wished he hadn’t. When he spoke again, his tone was gentle, and he knew deep in his heart that Lily was right. Sometimes the Slytherins did things that made him uncomfortable, things that sent of red flags all over the place. But he remained. “It’s just so much that…” He began slowly. “They accept me. Do you know how hard it is for people to do that? Everyone likes you. But me? Beggars can’t be choosers. And besides, they-” the words, ‘make me feel popular,’ ‘make me feel important,’ and ‘make me feel powerful’ all meandered over his lips, but none came out.
They stared into each other’s eyes for several minutes, the time unnoticeable to either of them, and finally Lily gave another weary sigh and looked away. “Sev…” She looked back. “Look. This next year, we’ll figure all of this out, okay? By the end of fifth year, we’ll know where we stand, and we’ll all have our chances to prove or disprove or… Alright? But for now, it’s summer. We don’t…” She gave a near-silent chuckle. “We don’t have homework to do, there are no Slytherins or Gryffindors, we don’t have to worry about Professor Binns boring us until we join him in death…” Severus smiled slightly, looking at her almost like some mother bird who had just watched her baby chick pop out its egg. Endeared, of course, but also… Content. At peace. “Let’s just watch the movie, okay?” she asked finally.
“I’d like that.”
…
Before long they had taken over the living room and were settling in on the couch with a large bowl of popcorn. Neither of them was particularly keen on the white fluffy stuff, but it was indeed a movie, and it was something to snack on, and either way it was excellent to throw at interruptive movie-watchers, A.K.A. each other.
But after the opening roll and the theme, not long had passed before Lily was stealing a glance at Severus for the third time in ten minutes. She could tell he was enjoying it, but he wasn’t quite… He lacked an enthusiasm that she had so often come to expect from him. He wasn’t enjoying it. And truth be told, neither was she.
She lay her head on the sofa’s arm, and winced a little as Han Solo sliced open a ton-ton with Luke’s lightsaber. “Boy, and I thought they smelled bad on the outside.”
Severus had barely cracked a smile, but Lily full-out grinned at the opportunity. “Kinda sounds like someone I know,” she said, in the general direction of the other end of the couch. It was actually a few seconds before she got a reaction.
“P- Pardon!?” His indignance was only half-joking.
“Yeah,” she said snootily. “You heard what I said.”
Severus looked at her with wide eyes, paused a moment, and then said, “Hey, on the way here you said I smelled good!”
“Sure,” she giggled. “That was before we fell asleep in the sun and it was all hot and you got all sticky and sweaty.”
“It’s…” He tried to furtively bring his shirt to his nose to smell it, and failed miserably. He nonetheless gave it a good sniff. “It’s good sweat.”
“Oh, good sweat!?”
“Yes,” he said, beginning to feel more like his snarky self. “That’s man-sweat.”
“Man-sweat?” she repeated incredulously.
“Yes,” he repeated proudly.
“It’s not man-sweat, your voice still cracks!”
“It does not!” he cried, his voice doing just that. He clapped a hand to his mouth and sank into the cushions in mortification, trying to ignore Lily’s giggling. But she in turn merely let out something like a coo of sympathy, and kindly passed him the popcorn bowl.
“Here, drown your sorrows in this.”
…
They continued to watch, shifting periodically, laughing at one thing, pointing out another… Then came the climax and they sat, riveted, the duel between Luke and Vader, could this be the end-all-be-all, and then: “No, I am your father…”
There was a small flurry of popcorn as they both jumped slightly. Severus let out a chuckle of amazement, while Lily had her mouth hanging open, completely thunderstruck.
“Whoa,” choked the Slytherin, somewhere between laughing and gagging. “Whoa.”
“I didn’t see that coming, did you?”
“I’m good at Legilimency; I’m not a Seer.”
“That’s… That’s bloody brilliant! Whoa, whoa, whoa, pause this.” She hit the pause button on the remote a little more forcefully than necessary, and then dumped it back onto the cushion next to her. “How is that? I thought Vader was a robot!”
“Of course not. He’s not 3PO.”
“Well, I mean, not technically. He’s like the Stormtroopers.”
“I thought Stormtroopers were just blokes in suits.”
“Well, I mean…” She stopped and took an aggressive mouthful of popcorn.
“So…” Severus sat back and rearranged his legs, staring hard at Luke who was in the middle of his melodramatic ‘that’s impossibllllllllleeeeeee!’ “Well, if Vader is half-human… Then we have to look at this biologically. I mean, what’s the robot and what’s the man? Does he have… You know, like… Parts?”
“Eew… Eew. Sev, gross. Ok. We’re starting the movie again; thanks for nothing.” He chuckled and shook his head, before resting his chin in his hand, propped up on the sofa arm.
“Hey, I’m being logical.”
“It’s a movie about robots and laser-swords!”
“Sure, but-”
“Yoda is a little green goblin-man that can move spaceships with his brain!!!”
“You could move spaceships with a little wooden stick.”
Lily stopped for a minute, her eyebrows raised. “I… I guess I can. I could.” She smiled for a second, and then turned on Severus in mock anger. “Ok, smartypants, you just keep your- Your- Logical-ness to yourself.”
Severus laughed. “Admiral Ackbar is a fishman. We have merpeople! Obi-Wan comes back as a glittery ball of the Force? We have ghosts! Chewbacca’s a- oomph!” He was silenced by a well-placed pillow, which was promptly used to smother him.
“I like Ackbar!”
He struggled only slightly, not wanting to accidentally hurt her, but even still he laughed in between shouts of “Ackbar’s a fishman! Ackbar’s a fishman!”
“Shut up, shut up, shut up!”
Even through the pillow he could hear Lily’s giggling, and between her pinning him down and his trying not to knock over the popcorn, the somehow managed to find an extra pillow on the floor and make an upward sweep with it, with was rewarded with a slight squeal of surprise. He was about to take another swing when Lily’s foot must have hit the remote, because suddenly the screen came to life again, and Vader’s low voice dramatically began again. “Search your feelings, you know it to be true!”
They paused mid-swing, their eyes glued to the film, and very slowly they moved back to their respective ends of the couch, once again becoming silent.
It was still rather quiet when the final credits rolled, the two a little speechless with awe. They eventually collected the pillows from their fight, set the tape for rewind and left the empty popcorn bowl in the kitchen sink, their conversation slowly starting and then stretching over Vader’s paternal status, what would become of Han Solo, and what kind of creature Yoda was actually based on anyway.
In fact, by the time Severus had returned to her bedroom having finished the general pajama and teeth-brushing routine, he was ready to declare his favorite character as Yoda, and Lily to declare her undying love for Han Solo. The Slytherin merely groaned at this.
“You like Han?”
“Sure! You know all the girls do.”
A second groan. “But he’s such a pretty-boy. He’s like…” His eyes suddenly widened, and his mouth dropped open. “Han is like Potter!”
This time Lily didn’t laugh, but rather looked at him skeptically. Even still, he hadn’t missed the look of hesitation that had flitted over her features. “No he’s not,” she said indignantly. “Han is gallant, and- and decent… Enough.” She blushed slightly, and then continued, “If Han is Potter, does that mean Chewbacca is Black?”
She actually got Severus’ face to lighten slightly as he snarked, “Well, he is hairy enough.”
The mood lightened slightly as she giggled, and Severus went over her closet in search of his sleeping bag. It had gotten to the point where he had slept on her floor so many times, there wasn’t really much point in bringing the thing back and forth.
And yet, a small spear of panic ran through his stomach as another idea came into his head. Leia had chosen Han by the end of the movie. Was he meant to be Luke? The platonic guy friend? He certainly didn’t think of her that way, but… He grabbed his sleeping bag from the corner and blushed as he pretended not to see the pair of pink lace-trimmed panties she had left on top of her hamper. Despite the fact that he was somewhat used to that sort of thing, part of him almost wanted to reach out and pocket them, as that seemed like a very Han Solo-ish thing to do.
“So!” He said as innocently as he could. He emerged from the closet with the sleeping bag half-unrolled already. “Any theories about the next one?”
…
After chatting for a while, Severus retreated to his sleeping bag, and Lily to her bed. She had opened the window a little, so that the cool summer air could breeze in, rustling the white linen curtains, and now it played over them softly, just enough to make them comfortable. The boy lay there and looked around, the room so familiar at this point. Deep sunflower walls and honey-colored wood floors… He wouldn’t have chosen this design himself for sure, but for Lily it seemed… All too perfect. It was bright and cheerful, yet not too overwhelming so as to seem gaudy. Very much like Lily herself.
“Hey Sev?” Her voice floated down to him, and he gave a hum of acknowledgement. “I think I have to get something done to my teeth tomorrow, so do you want to come over afterward and help me paint my toenails or something?”
Despite being so skilled with a silver dagger in the potions lab, the redhead was actually rather terrible at the whole nailpolish scene. Even when she didn’t have it pool up in her cuticles, it just never seemed like it wanted to go on smooth…
“Sure,” said Severus. “If that would make you feel better.” Then he gave a thought to the few bottles of it on her dresser. “So do you want the magenta, the red, or that pink sparkly stuff you like?”
He heard her give a small chuckle. “How many times do I tell you? It’s called Oyster of the Deep.”
“I’m never going to call it that.”
“But-”
“Lily?” His voice was lighthearted and teasing as he propped himself up on his elbow. “I paint toenails. I French braid your hair. I know the difference between a pair of summer heels and a pair of autumn ones. But I’m not calling it that.”
She laughed quietly and gave a contented sigh. “Well, I don’t think most blokes would do even that.”
“But I do it for you,” he murmured. She just smiled.
It was quiet for some time, perhaps ten minutes or so, and the wheels in Severus’ mind had been spinning. “Lily?” he softly called up to her. He lifted himself to rest on his arm, and saw her fast asleep. He simply looked at her, thinking.
What Petunia had said earlier… About one of them succeeding and the other failing… It was an idea that had crossed his mind. It came from the same place as that nagging voice that told him that he and Lily couldn’t be together. It was that little sinking feeling in his stomach every time Lily said, “You’re my best friend,” and not, “I love you.”
And yet, she seemed so sure of it. They would be Potions Masters, they decided. They would invent medicine and remedies for everything. They would build a potions shop by the sea, like the one in Diagon Alley only better, and they would live above it and do their experiments there…
Didn’t she realize? Or did she secretly harbor feelings for him as well? Should he say something? It was just… Every time he tried it just wouldn’t come out. He would put it off. He would decide it was a bad time. A few times he had actually opened his mouth to speak, but his words were inaudible. If they were so keen on planning a life together, why didn’t they plan a life together? Did she want that?
Merlin, he hoped so. Because truly, that was the thing he wanted most in the world. More than money or fame… Even more than the power that the Slytherins could give him. That was what he wanted: her, and he so wished that she did not see him as a mere Luke Skywalker. A friend. A trusted male counterpart, but no more. He hoped with all his heart that this was not the case. But, as he drifted off to sleep, a single line meandered through his thoughts.
“Search your feelings, you know it to be true.”