Reita/Ruki - Pantophobia: A Fear of Everything - PG - Chapter 08
“Conveniently for you,” Aoi said, speaking for the first time in a while. Reita had forgotten he was sitting there! “I need to take Ruki his payments the day after tomorrow. We could always try sneaking you in, couldn’t we?” Aoi asked with a sly smile.
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“Okay, usually he invites me in for a few minutes. So you can wait outside and then when I come out of his apartment, that’s when you’ll go in.” Aoi said as he and Reita walked towards Ruki’s building.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Reita whispered as he quietly followed Aoi to the door of Ruki’s apartment complex.
“No. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s a bad idea, but when you have a better one you can complain then,” he retorted and then buzzed Ruki’s apartment.
“Hello?”
“Ruki! It’s Aoi and I have your money,” he said and was buzzed in directly after. Reita slipped through the door behind Aoi and they climbed the stairs. Taking light and quick steps, Reita tried to be as quiet as possible. It almost felt to Reita like they were involved in some sort of drug deal with the way he was sneaking around and the way Aoi was carrying an envelope full of cash.
As they reached Ruki’s apartment, Reita immediately saw Ruki’s face poking out from around the door. Luckily he flattened himself against the wall before Ruki could notice he was there. He took a deep, but very quiet, breath as he thanked a higher power for his luck. It was that moment in time Reita gave up on any aspirations he might have had to become a bank robber. Sneaking around was tough business!
He heard Ruki and Aoi greet each other and then saw Aoi disappear into Ruki’s apartment. He edged his way closer to the door so he’d be prepared to dash inside at any given moment. As he waited for his cue to enter, he started to become even more nervous than he already was. Not only was he in love with Ruki and had plans of being in very close proximities of him (body-against-body close) very soon… he was also sneaking into his apartment when Ruki was clearly avoiding him! This could blow up in Reita’s face as quickly as a baby could dirty a diaper.
He started to wonder if he should try talking to Ruki first or go for the kill as soon as he made it into Ruki’s apartment. Considering he’d already be violating Ruki’s trust and terrifying him in the process of trying to help him overcome his fear of being touched, Reita thought maybe it was a better idea to talk a little before hand. He hadn’t even thought of what they might talk about, though. Reita sucked at planning. There he was, standing outside of Ruki’s apartment like some creepy stalker and he didn’t even know what he was going to say once he made it inside.
…And he wouldn’t have time to think of what to say either, because seconds later Aoi walked out of Ruki’s apartment. Reita made a mad dash for the door and dove inside before Ruki could even think of shutting it. He ended up hitting the floor with his stomach as a landing for his dive. “Get away!” Ruki shouted. “Aoi-san, make him get away from me!”
“Ruki, Reita isn’t going to hurt you. Why don’t you just give him a chance to take care of what he needs to take care of?” Aoi suggested and then walked away before Ruki could protest.
With a groan, Reita slowly picked himself up off of the floor. Once he was standing, he gently rubbed his stomach as he said, “That really fucking hurt.”
“Get away!” Ruki whimpered as he backed away from Reita.
Reita sighed dejectedly before saying, “Are you scared of me now, Ruki?” and was disappointed to receive a nod from Ruki as a response. “Ruki, I would never hurt you. Never. Will you please just talk with me?”
“I don’t want you to touch me! You keep touching me!” he cried as he backed farther away from Reita.
Reita sighed and said, “I just want to talk with you.” It wasn’t a lie. He just omitted the part where he’d cling to Ruki later until he finally realized he wasn’t going to die from a simple hug.
“Don’t touch me,” Ruki said as he walked over to the couch and sat down.
“I’m not going to hurt you Ruki,” Reita said as he followed Ruki over to the couch and sat at the other end. “Is that why you ignored my calls? And wouldn’t let me in your apartment?” he asked. “Because you were afraid of me?” Ruki nodded as an answer. “You weren’t scared of me before, though!”
“You never touched me like that before!” Ruki shouted.
“All I did was give you a hug, Ruki,” he said softly. “Don’t you know what that meant?” Ruki simply looked at Reita warily, not saying anything. Reita continued, “I hugged you because I care about you and I had been worried about you, Ruki. You called me crying! I was just happy to know you were okay and I wanted you to know that I was happy you were okay.”
“I don’t like being touched,” Ruki mumbled.
“I know you don’t,” Reita replied. “But do you know how much it hurt when you ran away from me, through pouring rain, right after you told me you had a fear of rain?” They sat in silence, Ruki refusing to look at Reita. After a minute or two, Reita said in almost a whisper, “It hurt a lot, in case you didn’t know the answer.”
Ruki stole a sideways glance at Reita, but quickly turned his gaze to the floor. He said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Reita. I’m sorry.”
Smiling with a shrug, Reita said, “It’s okay, Ruki… but only if you get me a soda.”
With a roll of his eyes, Ruki stood up. Without Ruki noticing, Reita also stood up and followed Ruki towards the kitchen. Before Ruki even made it to the kitchen, Reita wrapped his arms around Ruki from behind and held him tightly. “GET OFF! P-PLEASE!” Ruki shouted as he tried to struggle out of Reita’s hold, but that only made Reita hold on tighter.
As he started to cry, Ruki struggled even more in Reita’s arms-trying to escape. “P-PLEASE! Let go of me! Please don’t!” he shouted, but they were futile pleas. If he imagined Ruki suddenly disappearing without the security of his arms, Reita had no problem keeping his hold on Ruki.
Reita’s voice cracked as he said, “Ruki, please understand I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to be able to give you a hug when you’re sad or scared, but I don’t want my touch to be what’s scaring you. So, please… just understand.”
To have said Reita was surprised when Ruki stopped trying to wriggle out of his embrace would have been understating the matter slightly. The addition of delighted, ecstatic, and happy as fuck might have been more fitting. Ruki’s arms hung limply by his sides, Reita’s arms wrapped around his body preventing Ruki from moving them. He cried silently for a minute and then whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Reita laughed. It wasn’t a laugh he would laugh when a joke was funny or when a movie was funny. It was a laugh he reserved for occasions much like this one. It was a laugh of elation. With that laugh, Reita said, “It’s okay Ruki… but only if you hug me back.”
Slowly but surely, Ruki turned to face Reita and hugged him back.
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A/N: Firstly, don't kill me if my psychological BS isn't realistic. It's realistic enough for fanfic T.T Secondly, please don't kill me... but I'm not writing smut. Omg, PLZ don't make me write smut. Ever. T.T T.T T.T Thirdly, don't kill me... but I don't know when the next update will be. I haven't finished writing it yet >.> It won't be long, though. No worries! Fourthly, don't kill me because I love you guys and it would really hurt my feelings if you killed me T.T
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“Okay, usually he invites me in for a few minutes. So you can wait outside and then when I come out of his apartment, that’s when you’ll go in.” Aoi said as he and Reita walked towards Ruki’s building.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Reita whispered as he quietly followed Aoi to the door of Ruki’s apartment complex.
“No. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s a bad idea, but when you have a better one you can complain then,” he retorted and then buzzed Ruki’s apartment.
“Hello?”
“Ruki! It’s Aoi and I have your money,” he said and was buzzed in directly after. Reita slipped through the door behind Aoi and they climbed the stairs. Taking light and quick steps, Reita tried to be as quiet as possible. It almost felt to Reita like they were involved in some sort of drug deal with the way he was sneaking around and the way Aoi was carrying an envelope full of cash.
As they reached Ruki’s apartment, Reita immediately saw Ruki’s face poking out from around the door. Luckily he flattened himself against the wall before Ruki could notice he was there. He took a deep, but very quiet, breath as he thanked a higher power for his luck. It was that moment in time Reita gave up on any aspirations he might have had to become a bank robber. Sneaking around was tough business!
He heard Ruki and Aoi greet each other and then saw Aoi disappear into Ruki’s apartment. He edged his way closer to the door so he’d be prepared to dash inside at any given moment. As he waited for his cue to enter, he started to become even more nervous than he already was. Not only was he in love with Ruki and had plans of being in very close proximities of him (body-against-body close) very soon… he was also sneaking into his apartment when Ruki was clearly avoiding him! This could blow up in Reita’s face as quickly as a baby could dirty a diaper.
He started to wonder if he should try talking to Ruki first or go for the kill as soon as he made it into Ruki’s apartment. Considering he’d already be violating Ruki’s trust and terrifying him in the process of trying to help him overcome his fear of being touched, Reita thought maybe it was a better idea to talk a little before hand. He hadn’t even thought of what they might talk about, though. Reita sucked at planning. There he was, standing outside of Ruki’s apartment like some creepy stalker and he didn’t even know what he was going to say once he made it inside.
…And he wouldn’t have time to think of what to say either, because seconds later Aoi walked out of Ruki’s apartment. Reita made a mad dash for the door and dove inside before Ruki could even think of shutting it. He ended up hitting the floor with his stomach as a landing for his dive. “Get away!” Ruki shouted. “Aoi-san, make him get away from me!”
“Ruki, Reita isn’t going to hurt you. Why don’t you just give him a chance to take care of what he needs to take care of?” Aoi suggested and then walked away before Ruki could protest.
With a groan, Reita slowly picked himself up off of the floor. Once he was standing, he gently rubbed his stomach as he said, “That really fucking hurt.”
“Get away!” Ruki whimpered as he backed away from Reita.
Reita sighed dejectedly before saying, “Are you scared of me now, Ruki?” and was disappointed to receive a nod from Ruki as a response. “Ruki, I would never hurt you. Never. Will you please just talk with me?”
“I don’t want you to touch me! You keep touching me!” he cried as he backed farther away from Reita.
Reita sighed and said, “I just want to talk with you.” It wasn’t a lie. He just omitted the part where he’d cling to Ruki later until he finally realized he wasn’t going to die from a simple hug.
“Don’t touch me,” Ruki said as he walked over to the couch and sat down.
“I’m not going to hurt you Ruki,” Reita said as he followed Ruki over to the couch and sat at the other end. “Is that why you ignored my calls? And wouldn’t let me in your apartment?” he asked. “Because you were afraid of me?” Ruki nodded as an answer. “You weren’t scared of me before, though!”
“You never touched me like that before!” Ruki shouted.
“All I did was give you a hug, Ruki,” he said softly. “Don’t you know what that meant?” Ruki simply looked at Reita warily, not saying anything. Reita continued, “I hugged you because I care about you and I had been worried about you, Ruki. You called me crying! I was just happy to know you were okay and I wanted you to know that I was happy you were okay.”
“I don’t like being touched,” Ruki mumbled.
“I know you don’t,” Reita replied. “But do you know how much it hurt when you ran away from me, through pouring rain, right after you told me you had a fear of rain?” They sat in silence, Ruki refusing to look at Reita. After a minute or two, Reita said in almost a whisper, “It hurt a lot, in case you didn’t know the answer.”
Ruki stole a sideways glance at Reita, but quickly turned his gaze to the floor. He said, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Reita. I’m sorry.”
Smiling with a shrug, Reita said, “It’s okay, Ruki… but only if you get me a soda.”
With a roll of his eyes, Ruki stood up. Without Ruki noticing, Reita also stood up and followed Ruki towards the kitchen. Before Ruki even made it to the kitchen, Reita wrapped his arms around Ruki from behind and held him tightly. “GET OFF! P-PLEASE!” Ruki shouted as he tried to struggle out of Reita’s hold, but that only made Reita hold on tighter.
As he started to cry, Ruki struggled even more in Reita’s arms-trying to escape. “P-PLEASE! Let go of me! Please don’t!” he shouted, but they were futile pleas. If he imagined Ruki suddenly disappearing without the security of his arms, Reita had no problem keeping his hold on Ruki.
Reita’s voice cracked as he said, “Ruki, please understand I’m not going to hurt you. I just want to be able to give you a hug when you’re sad or scared, but I don’t want my touch to be what’s scaring you. So, please… just understand.”
To have said Reita was surprised when Ruki stopped trying to wriggle out of his embrace would have been understating the matter slightly. The addition of delighted, ecstatic, and happy as fuck might have been more fitting. Ruki’s arms hung limply by his sides, Reita’s arms wrapped around his body preventing Ruki from moving them. He cried silently for a minute and then whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Reita laughed. It wasn’t a laugh he would laugh when a joke was funny or when a movie was funny. It was a laugh he reserved for occasions much like this one. It was a laugh of elation. With that laugh, Reita said, “It’s okay Ruki… but only if you hug me back.”
Slowly but surely, Ruki turned to face Reita and hugged him back.
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A/N: Firstly, don't kill me if my psychological BS isn't realistic. It's realistic enough for fanfic T.T Secondly, please don't kill me... but I'm not writing smut. Omg, PLZ don't make me write smut. Ever. T.T T.T T.T Thirdly, don't kill me... but I don't know when the next update will be. I haven't finished writing it yet >.> It won't be long, though. No worries! Fourthly, don't kill me because I love you guys and it would really hurt my feelings if you killed me T.T