[Beyond the Rift] I Blame Canada
Title: I Blame Canada
Fandom: Beyond the Rift
Author: kawaiispinel
Feedback: ... Is loverly.
Word Count: 1449
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Mitsuki, Vincent, Leo
Summary: In which Vincent goes missing in Canada and Mitsuki hates her life.
Disclaimer: Vincent, Mitsuki, and Leo are mine, although technically Leo is kinda partially Quentin Tarantino's, but I will neither confirm nor deny that they are the same Leo. The Rift owns you.
Author's Notes: I occasionally remember to post things for archival purposes. Sometimes.
Vancouver was not exactly anyone's ideal spot for a demon-hunting excursion, but Leo had weird proclivities when it came to the archangel sport of choice and when he called, Vincent answered per usual. Anything for his oldest friend (beyond certain Firsts, but that was another story entirely) and he was in desperate need of a vacation anyway.
Only Vincent Sterling would take a vacation from demon hunting to go demon hunting, and the illogical nature of this scenario wasn't missed by Mitsuki in the slightest, who found herself arguing with him over the phone for an hour about how if he was so desperate to hunt demons, there was a little cell of them operating out of Grozny that would probably be a lot more emotionally fulfilling than some demon in Vancouver fucking with the locals.
Her arguments, as they usually did, fell on deaf ears, and Mitsuki finally just decided she was content to leave it there and let Vincent have his fun, but if Grozny exploded while he was out being an idiot, then she was holding him responsible.
Three days later, she dispatched one of his teams to the area, because she didn't want to be responsible for the explosion of Grozny through proxy.
~*~
When a week went by, she began to consider the option that Vincent and Leo might have been eaten by bears.... Or a behemoth.... Or a behemoth that turns into a bear. There were probably bears involved. Somehow.
~*~
After two weeks passed with no word, she attempted to contact anyone who might have an idea where two idiot archangels might have gotten off to on what was supposed to be a routine hunting expedition... This, unfortunately, led to a lot of yelling and shrieking about what generally happens on routine hunting expeditions, which eventually devolved into incoherent muttering about bears until Molly managed to cut the phone line for her own good. Aiko was quick with tea and zen and eventually Mitsuki calmed down enough to be allowed to answer her phone the next time it rang... Unfortunately, it was Vincent, so that killed her zen pretty quickly as she spent the next thirty minutes yelling at him in Japanese, occasionally punctuated by English obscenities that could have probably been heard all the way in Kyoto.
Vincent, as was custom, didn't say a word until there was silence on Mitsuki's end of the line. "You done, Mitzi?"
This brought on a new wave of obscenity that could have probably been summed up with the phrase, "Don't 'Mitzi' me," but it took her a ridiculous number of filler words, a few threats, and some insults about his parentage to get to that point, by which time, she was very much definitely done.
"Good. We got a cabin. Come up here." Terseness and the fact that he hung up immediately after the last word insinuated that something was very wrong here and if Mitsuki hadn't destroyed three cell phones in the past month, she might have considered destroying this one too out of protest. She settled for letting her wings flare out and shrieking at the top of her lungs in frustration, which was less cathartic, but worked wonders for her mental state.
At that point, pretty much every person in Mitsuki's employment figured that Vincent and Leo would have been better off being eaten by bears.
~*~
Rendevous was not the word that Mitsuki would use to describe this excursion... It was more of a, "I'm only coming here so I can figure out what the fuck you're doing and why you're not working, you big dumbass" mission, and she was beginning to feel it might be necessary. She might be young by angel standards and she might have missed out on Vincent's raccous youth, but she's heard things about what happens when you put Vincent and Leo somewhere together. Usually, there is drinking and sometimes someone loses a pinky finger... That someone is usually neither Vince nor Leo, but that was neither here nor there.
All that being said, someone was probably going to have to drag them back to civilization lest they get lost in the Canadian wilderness and set upon by bears or crazy cannibal hill-folk and that someone pretty much had to be her as it was the custom, thus why she was standing outside the aforementioned cabin she'd somehow managed to procure directions to. Her wings were out and mantling, giving her the appearance of a thoroughly ruffled bird of some sort and she was glaring at the door as if it had gravely insulted her just by existing. When Leo opened the door a few moments later, staring at her over the frames of those damn glasses he always wore (what kind of archangel wears glasses- most of them are fucking blessed with raptor vision), she fixed him with much the same look for much the same reason.
"Where's Vince?" She demanded, and may Buddha weep at her violent tendencies if he so much as tried to get snarky with her.
Thankfully, Vincent showed himself before Leo could speak, roughly shoving the other archangel out of the way of the door, looking for all the world like he was very, very drunk. "Mitzi! You made it!" He made a move that made it seem like he was going to hug her and she closed her wings around herself a bit as a means to block him.
"Please tell me you didn't cut anyone's pinky off, Vince," she groaned, somewhat pleading.
Vince looked shocked. "What? No! What kind of sick fuck does that?"
Leo poked his head out the door again. "Us kind of sick fucks, Vince. Remember? That hotel in LA? Romana nearly busted a cap in all of us."
"...I have no idea what you're talkin' about." He was grinning though, which suggested he knew exactly what Leo was talking about and the blond archangel gave him an affectionate punch in the shoulder and vanished back into the cabin. Mitsuki merely watched this entire exchange with a coldly murderous look and deeply contemplated whether it was unseemly to feed your boss to a bear... Maybe she could just feed Leo to a bear. No one would miss Leo... Well, except Vince, but he can find new friends- friends who are not Leo.
"Vincent, tell me what I'm doing here or I'm going to kick your ass all the way to Alberta."
For a moment, Vincent looked mildly hurt, but then in his quite clearly drunken state, he remembered that this was Mitsuki's general attitude towards him and most people who found it in their hearts to continually cause her grief. "Right. Okay. Here's the sitch, Mitzi. We kinda got waylaid by our demonic friend, hence the holdin' out in this cabin for the past two weeks. That fucker's got some strength on 'em, so after me'n'Leo got ourselves all healed up... We figured there was only one way to solve this little predicament."
Mitsuki caught on. She caught on hard. "For Christ's sake, Vince, you want me to kill a demon for you?"
Vincent sputtered a bit in protest. "Not exactly." A wince- clearly that was a lie. "We thought this was just some lowbrow motherfucker terrorizing civilians, because Leo over there got some wires crossed."
"It happens!" Leo called out from somewhere inside the cabin.
"Yes, it does. It happens frequently, Leo. Very frequently."
Once again, Leo called out in answer, "I don't have the contacts you do, Vinchenzo."
"No, you do not." Vincent turned back to Mitsuki. "So essentially, I just figured, you know... We could do this hunt right, and you have the benefit of not ever having your ass handed to this demon before, so..." He was struggling and she could tell that he was trying to find some way to explain this that wasn't an outright lie.
"Out with it, Vince."
"Okay! When Leo and I got our asses handed to us, I kinda had to barter with the son of a bitch to keep him from feedin' us our small intestines, so I told him about you and it turns out, the bastard's a bettin' man, so we kinda, uh...."
Leo returned to the door with a glass of whiskey in his hand. "We bet him our lives that he couldn't take you out."
Mitsuki twitched and then she stormed her way into the cabin, slammed the door behind her, and then made both Leo and Vincent wish they had been eaten by bears or killed by that goddamned demon, because bears and demons are small potatoes compared to a very, very angry little archangel who has just hit her limit.
Fandom: Beyond the Rift
Author: kawaiispinel
Feedback: ... Is loverly.
Word Count: 1449
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Mitsuki, Vincent, Leo
Summary: In which Vincent goes missing in Canada and Mitsuki hates her life.
Disclaimer: Vincent, Mitsuki, and Leo are mine, although technically Leo is kinda partially Quentin Tarantino's, but I will neither confirm nor deny that they are the same Leo. The Rift owns you.
Author's Notes: I occasionally remember to post things for archival purposes. Sometimes.
Vancouver was not exactly anyone's ideal spot for a demon-hunting excursion, but Leo had weird proclivities when it came to the archangel sport of choice and when he called, Vincent answered per usual. Anything for his oldest friend (beyond certain Firsts, but that was another story entirely) and he was in desperate need of a vacation anyway.
Only Vincent Sterling would take a vacation from demon hunting to go demon hunting, and the illogical nature of this scenario wasn't missed by Mitsuki in the slightest, who found herself arguing with him over the phone for an hour about how if he was so desperate to hunt demons, there was a little cell of them operating out of Grozny that would probably be a lot more emotionally fulfilling than some demon in Vancouver fucking with the locals.
Her arguments, as they usually did, fell on deaf ears, and Mitsuki finally just decided she was content to leave it there and let Vincent have his fun, but if Grozny exploded while he was out being an idiot, then she was holding him responsible.
Three days later, she dispatched one of his teams to the area, because she didn't want to be responsible for the explosion of Grozny through proxy.
~*~
When a week went by, she began to consider the option that Vincent and Leo might have been eaten by bears.... Or a behemoth.... Or a behemoth that turns into a bear. There were probably bears involved. Somehow.
~*~
After two weeks passed with no word, she attempted to contact anyone who might have an idea where two idiot archangels might have gotten off to on what was supposed to be a routine hunting expedition... This, unfortunately, led to a lot of yelling and shrieking about what generally happens on routine hunting expeditions, which eventually devolved into incoherent muttering about bears until Molly managed to cut the phone line for her own good. Aiko was quick with tea and zen and eventually Mitsuki calmed down enough to be allowed to answer her phone the next time it rang... Unfortunately, it was Vincent, so that killed her zen pretty quickly as she spent the next thirty minutes yelling at him in Japanese, occasionally punctuated by English obscenities that could have probably been heard all the way in Kyoto.
Vincent, as was custom, didn't say a word until there was silence on Mitsuki's end of the line. "You done, Mitzi?"
This brought on a new wave of obscenity that could have probably been summed up with the phrase, "Don't 'Mitzi' me," but it took her a ridiculous number of filler words, a few threats, and some insults about his parentage to get to that point, by which time, she was very much definitely done.
"Good. We got a cabin. Come up here." Terseness and the fact that he hung up immediately after the last word insinuated that something was very wrong here and if Mitsuki hadn't destroyed three cell phones in the past month, she might have considered destroying this one too out of protest. She settled for letting her wings flare out and shrieking at the top of her lungs in frustration, which was less cathartic, but worked wonders for her mental state.
At that point, pretty much every person in Mitsuki's employment figured that Vincent and Leo would have been better off being eaten by bears.
~*~
Rendevous was not the word that Mitsuki would use to describe this excursion... It was more of a, "I'm only coming here so I can figure out what the fuck you're doing and why you're not working, you big dumbass" mission, and she was beginning to feel it might be necessary. She might be young by angel standards and she might have missed out on Vincent's raccous youth, but she's heard things about what happens when you put Vincent and Leo somewhere together. Usually, there is drinking and sometimes someone loses a pinky finger... That someone is usually neither Vince nor Leo, but that was neither here nor there.
All that being said, someone was probably going to have to drag them back to civilization lest they get lost in the Canadian wilderness and set upon by bears or crazy cannibal hill-folk and that someone pretty much had to be her as it was the custom, thus why she was standing outside the aforementioned cabin she'd somehow managed to procure directions to. Her wings were out and mantling, giving her the appearance of a thoroughly ruffled bird of some sort and she was glaring at the door as if it had gravely insulted her just by existing. When Leo opened the door a few moments later, staring at her over the frames of those damn glasses he always wore (what kind of archangel wears glasses- most of them are fucking blessed with raptor vision), she fixed him with much the same look for much the same reason.
"Where's Vince?" She demanded, and may Buddha weep at her violent tendencies if he so much as tried to get snarky with her.
Thankfully, Vincent showed himself before Leo could speak, roughly shoving the other archangel out of the way of the door, looking for all the world like he was very, very drunk. "Mitzi! You made it!" He made a move that made it seem like he was going to hug her and she closed her wings around herself a bit as a means to block him.
"Please tell me you didn't cut anyone's pinky off, Vince," she groaned, somewhat pleading.
Vince looked shocked. "What? No! What kind of sick fuck does that?"
Leo poked his head out the door again. "Us kind of sick fucks, Vince. Remember? That hotel in LA? Romana nearly busted a cap in all of us."
"...I have no idea what you're talkin' about." He was grinning though, which suggested he knew exactly what Leo was talking about and the blond archangel gave him an affectionate punch in the shoulder and vanished back into the cabin. Mitsuki merely watched this entire exchange with a coldly murderous look and deeply contemplated whether it was unseemly to feed your boss to a bear... Maybe she could just feed Leo to a bear. No one would miss Leo... Well, except Vince, but he can find new friends- friends who are not Leo.
"Vincent, tell me what I'm doing here or I'm going to kick your ass all the way to Alberta."
For a moment, Vincent looked mildly hurt, but then in his quite clearly drunken state, he remembered that this was Mitsuki's general attitude towards him and most people who found it in their hearts to continually cause her grief. "Right. Okay. Here's the sitch, Mitzi. We kinda got waylaid by our demonic friend, hence the holdin' out in this cabin for the past two weeks. That fucker's got some strength on 'em, so after me'n'Leo got ourselves all healed up... We figured there was only one way to solve this little predicament."
Mitsuki caught on. She caught on hard. "For Christ's sake, Vince, you want me to kill a demon for you?"
Vincent sputtered a bit in protest. "Not exactly." A wince- clearly that was a lie. "We thought this was just some lowbrow motherfucker terrorizing civilians, because Leo over there got some wires crossed."
"It happens!" Leo called out from somewhere inside the cabin.
"Yes, it does. It happens frequently, Leo. Very frequently."
Once again, Leo called out in answer, "I don't have the contacts you do, Vinchenzo."
"No, you do not." Vincent turned back to Mitsuki. "So essentially, I just figured, you know... We could do this hunt right, and you have the benefit of not ever having your ass handed to this demon before, so..." He was struggling and she could tell that he was trying to find some way to explain this that wasn't an outright lie.
"Out with it, Vince."
"Okay! When Leo and I got our asses handed to us, I kinda had to barter with the son of a bitch to keep him from feedin' us our small intestines, so I told him about you and it turns out, the bastard's a bettin' man, so we kinda, uh...."
Leo returned to the door with a glass of whiskey in his hand. "We bet him our lives that he couldn't take you out."
Mitsuki twitched and then she stormed her way into the cabin, slammed the door behind her, and then made both Leo and Vincent wish they had been eaten by bears or killed by that goddamned demon, because bears and demons are small potatoes compared to a very, very angry little archangel who has just hit her limit.