Dirty Sexy Money: Behind the Melody, the Words Don't Mean a Thing
Title: Behind the Melody, the Words Don't Mean a Thing
Fandom: Dirty Sexy Money
Author: kawaiispinel
Feedback: ...Is loverly.
Word Count: 1461
Rating: PG
Characters: Juliet, Jeremy (Henceforth to be known as Asexual!Juliet and her Nonsexual Life Partner!Jeremy.)
Pairings: You could probably argue the Juliet/Jeremy-ness of it. It got in there and got in there bad.
Summary: The truth was, she didn't care all that much for romance and sex and whatever else other people expected her to be obsessed with.... All she cared about was Jeremy.
Disclaimer: Oh hell no, I still don't anything. I'll just be over here in this new sandbox.
Author's Note: This fic drove me insane, hand to God. First of all, there was the fact that it was written at five in the morning and second of all, it was actually originally more choppy than it is now. This is a better version, and I still couldn't get to flow the way I wanted it to, so it sorta came out more as a stream-of-conscious introspection thing... And I still don't know if I actually got the point across... And I'm just gonna shut up now.
It was one of those things where explaining it in full detail only got you funny looks and questions- explaining it to Nick had been easy, of course. He understood insanity, because he was on the outside looking in when it came to their family. The rest of the Darlings were too wrapped up in themselves to even see how crazy they really were (save her and Jeremy- and even he contributed to the madness sometimes and she wouldn’t even go as far as to say that she didn’t either), but that didn’t mean they were approving of odd behavior announced as plain as day in the middle of their living room.
The trouble was that she had never been all that interested in sex. When she was younger Karen had thought it would be funny to explain to her in great detail what it was all about and somehow that had just turned her against the act entirely. No one would have believed that about her, however. Beautiful, rich girls were expected to sleep around with every man they see, and she contributed to that illusion, because it was easier. The funny thing was, she was absolutely astonished that no one had noticed yet, especially since she went to every promotion, premiere, and party either on Jeremy’s arm or alone. Then again, that might have had something to do with the "twin" thing. People saw twins and expected them to always be together. It wasn’t strange- it was cute. To Juliet, however, it was safe. Jeremy would never hurt her or at least she liked to think he wouldn’t- her twin intuition seemed to be fading and he seemed capable of anything these days. The fact was she couldn’t be sure, but she wanted to be sure, even if all she could do was pretend.
When she tried to look back on her life, she could only pick out a handful of events that didn’t involve Jeremy, in some way, always being there... Her guiding light, her totem (moreso than the little dog that she’d taken to carrying in her arms, but telling Jeremy that would only earn him teasing her playfully. "I don’t think they make handbags big enough for to ride around in, Jules."). Obviously, trying to explain that to him on top of her fading twin intuition would be like asking him to make fun of her. He was never cruel with his jokes- or at least he tried not be, but sometimes they hurt just the same, because making him believe everything she felt for him, things that couldn’t be explained in words even though she tried anyway, meant the world to her.
There were at least two moments in her life when she realized that if she had to choose between any person in the world to spend the rest of her life with, she would have picked Jeremy in a heartbeat. Once was a very simple moment when she went to visit some sad, little country who obviously knew very little of the Darlings (was there really such a place?), and Jeremy accompanied her. For some reason most of the people she spoke with were under the impression (due, she supposed, to a mistranslation somewhere) that Jeremy was her boyfriend, not her brother, and after awhile she got tired of correcting them because they spoke very little English, Jeremy wasn’t paying enough attention for it to matter, and she realized that she didn’t care, because whatever Jeremy was to her, it meant more than simply "twin brother" even if there were no other words to describe it.
The most important moment to her that defined what she wanted more than anything else was when Jeremy OD’ed the first of many times (his friends had called her, having been petrified to tell Tripp and they knew she wouldn’t rat- her twin intuition had picked up on something being wrong a second before she got the call, a matter she still prided herself in). She’d had him secretly rushed to a dinky little hospital, paid off the doctors to keep everything quiet, and then spent the rest of the time by his bedside, crying her eyes out because she was afraid he was going to leave her and the last thing she wanted was to be in this world without him. It put everything in her life into perspective. She needed him and while he didn’t admit it as often as she would have liked (but she knew it well enough), he needed her too. She was the only one who wouldn’t judge him for the crazy things he did, who would listen to him ramble at length about the strangest things with a bright smile, always questioning, determined to find out more. That’s how it had been since they were children. That’s how it should be forever.
Try explaining that to the Paparazzi, however. "I’m in love with my brother... But not in a sexual way!" They’d never allow you to explain anymore and by the next morning it would be in every paper that the Darling Twins were engaged in a torrid, secret love affair with each other and the two of them would be the topic of the next family meeting. (And how would Jeremy even look at her if such a thing were to happen?) Obviously, they’d never listen to poetic descriptions of a relationship that transcends sex and eloquent discussions of "nonsexual soul mates" (because she could rattle things like that off at length, but she never did, because obviously no one would get past the whole "in love with her brother" angle).
No, they would only care about the dirt. So she gave them dirt that wasn’t true as private revenge for what those same people could do (which would hurt her more than anything they could do now) and told them fantastic tales of sexual conquests and most of the men whom she mentioned were more than happy to lie right along with her. (Some she had to pay off, but most just liked the idea of the glory. In fact Brandon Davis paid her $10,000 for the honor of being able to say he deflowered her. She had accepted with more than a little disgust and Jeremy had found it so funny that he had taken her out for dinner for making him laugh, and then he made jokes at Brandon’s expense the whole night to make her feel better about it- even going as far as to say that if it made her feel better, he would go straight up to Brandon’s house after dinner and show him the true meaning of the phrase "firecrotch.")
That was just one of many of their precious moments, which seemed to be slipping away until she had very few to cling to anymore. She could still remember the aftermath of his overdose. When he finally came to, her heart had leapt into her chest and she had kissed his forehead and he had fought against his weakness to kiss her on her cheek. They had sat forever with their hands entwined, sharing the tiny little hospital bed, while she cried into his shoulder until she couldn’t cry anymore. He had promised her he’d never use again as soon as they left. It was a lie, of course. One of many. Jeremy was nothing without his lies, just as she was nothing without hers. The only difference was that she had only lied to him once and that was about how much he meant to her, how much she wanted them to just be together for the rest of their lives, everyone else in the world (family included) be damned, just the way she saw it in her head.
Things were very rarely how she pictured them in her head, however. This would be no different. No matter what happened, Jeremy would always go off to his friends and his girlfriends and she would be left to make do with whatever else she could find to do with her newfound independence. And they would slowly, ever so slowly drift apart...
...But sometimes, he would come when she called and it would be like nothing had changed. Sometimes they’d have nights where it was just them and no one could ever come between them. She lived in anticipation of those nights, because they were the closest she would ever get to what she really wanted, and she could pretend, if only for a little while, that all was right in her world.
Fandom: Dirty Sexy Money
Author: kawaiispinel
Feedback: ...Is loverly.
Word Count: 1461
Rating: PG
Characters: Juliet, Jeremy (Henceforth to be known as Asexual!Juliet and her Nonsexual Life Partner!Jeremy.)
Pairings: You could probably argue the Juliet/Jeremy-ness of it. It got in there and got in there bad.
Summary: The truth was, she didn't care all that much for romance and sex and whatever else other people expected her to be obsessed with.... All she cared about was Jeremy.
Disclaimer: Oh hell no, I still don't anything. I'll just be over here in this new sandbox.
Author's Note: This fic drove me insane, hand to God. First of all, there was the fact that it was written at five in the morning and second of all, it was actually originally more choppy than it is now. This is a better version, and I still couldn't get to flow the way I wanted it to, so it sorta came out more as a stream-of-conscious introspection thing... And I still don't know if I actually got the point across... And I'm just gonna shut up now.
It was one of those things where explaining it in full detail only got you funny looks and questions- explaining it to Nick had been easy, of course. He understood insanity, because he was on the outside looking in when it came to their family. The rest of the Darlings were too wrapped up in themselves to even see how crazy they really were (save her and Jeremy- and even he contributed to the madness sometimes and she wouldn’t even go as far as to say that she didn’t either), but that didn’t mean they were approving of odd behavior announced as plain as day in the middle of their living room.
The trouble was that she had never been all that interested in sex. When she was younger Karen had thought it would be funny to explain to her in great detail what it was all about and somehow that had just turned her against the act entirely. No one would have believed that about her, however. Beautiful, rich girls were expected to sleep around with every man they see, and she contributed to that illusion, because it was easier. The funny thing was, she was absolutely astonished that no one had noticed yet, especially since she went to every promotion, premiere, and party either on Jeremy’s arm or alone. Then again, that might have had something to do with the "twin" thing. People saw twins and expected them to always be together. It wasn’t strange- it was cute. To Juliet, however, it was safe. Jeremy would never hurt her or at least she liked to think he wouldn’t- her twin intuition seemed to be fading and he seemed capable of anything these days. The fact was she couldn’t be sure, but she wanted to be sure, even if all she could do was pretend.
When she tried to look back on her life, she could only pick out a handful of events that didn’t involve Jeremy, in some way, always being there... Her guiding light, her totem (moreso than the little dog that she’d taken to carrying in her arms, but telling Jeremy that would only earn him teasing her playfully. "I don’t think they make handbags big enough for to ride around in, Jules."). Obviously, trying to explain that to him on top of her fading twin intuition would be like asking him to make fun of her. He was never cruel with his jokes- or at least he tried not be, but sometimes they hurt just the same, because making him believe everything she felt for him, things that couldn’t be explained in words even though she tried anyway, meant the world to her.
There were at least two moments in her life when she realized that if she had to choose between any person in the world to spend the rest of her life with, she would have picked Jeremy in a heartbeat. Once was a very simple moment when she went to visit some sad, little country who obviously knew very little of the Darlings (was there really such a place?), and Jeremy accompanied her. For some reason most of the people she spoke with were under the impression (due, she supposed, to a mistranslation somewhere) that Jeremy was her boyfriend, not her brother, and after awhile she got tired of correcting them because they spoke very little English, Jeremy wasn’t paying enough attention for it to matter, and she realized that she didn’t care, because whatever Jeremy was to her, it meant more than simply "twin brother" even if there were no other words to describe it.
The most important moment to her that defined what she wanted more than anything else was when Jeremy OD’ed the first of many times (his friends had called her, having been petrified to tell Tripp and they knew she wouldn’t rat- her twin intuition had picked up on something being wrong a second before she got the call, a matter she still prided herself in). She’d had him secretly rushed to a dinky little hospital, paid off the doctors to keep everything quiet, and then spent the rest of the time by his bedside, crying her eyes out because she was afraid he was going to leave her and the last thing she wanted was to be in this world without him. It put everything in her life into perspective. She needed him and while he didn’t admit it as often as she would have liked (but she knew it well enough), he needed her too. She was the only one who wouldn’t judge him for the crazy things he did, who would listen to him ramble at length about the strangest things with a bright smile, always questioning, determined to find out more. That’s how it had been since they were children. That’s how it should be forever.
Try explaining that to the Paparazzi, however. "I’m in love with my brother... But not in a sexual way!" They’d never allow you to explain anymore and by the next morning it would be in every paper that the Darling Twins were engaged in a torrid, secret love affair with each other and the two of them would be the topic of the next family meeting. (And how would Jeremy even look at her if such a thing were to happen?) Obviously, they’d never listen to poetic descriptions of a relationship that transcends sex and eloquent discussions of "nonsexual soul mates" (because she could rattle things like that off at length, but she never did, because obviously no one would get past the whole "in love with her brother" angle).
No, they would only care about the dirt. So she gave them dirt that wasn’t true as private revenge for what those same people could do (which would hurt her more than anything they could do now) and told them fantastic tales of sexual conquests and most of the men whom she mentioned were more than happy to lie right along with her. (Some she had to pay off, but most just liked the idea of the glory. In fact Brandon Davis paid her $10,000 for the honor of being able to say he deflowered her. She had accepted with more than a little disgust and Jeremy had found it so funny that he had taken her out for dinner for making him laugh, and then he made jokes at Brandon’s expense the whole night to make her feel better about it- even going as far as to say that if it made her feel better, he would go straight up to Brandon’s house after dinner and show him the true meaning of the phrase "firecrotch.")
That was just one of many of their precious moments, which seemed to be slipping away until she had very few to cling to anymore. She could still remember the aftermath of his overdose. When he finally came to, her heart had leapt into her chest and she had kissed his forehead and he had fought against his weakness to kiss her on her cheek. They had sat forever with their hands entwined, sharing the tiny little hospital bed, while she cried into his shoulder until she couldn’t cry anymore. He had promised her he’d never use again as soon as they left. It was a lie, of course. One of many. Jeremy was nothing without his lies, just as she was nothing without hers. The only difference was that she had only lied to him once and that was about how much he meant to her, how much she wanted them to just be together for the rest of their lives, everyone else in the world (family included) be damned, just the way she saw it in her head.
Things were very rarely how she pictured them in her head, however. This would be no different. No matter what happened, Jeremy would always go off to his friends and his girlfriends and she would be left to make do with whatever else she could find to do with her newfound independence. And they would slowly, ever so slowly drift apart...
...But sometimes, he would come when she called and it would be like nothing had changed. Sometimes they’d have nights where it was just them and no one could ever come between them. She lived in anticipation of those nights, because they were the closest she would ever get to what she really wanted, and she could pretend, if only for a little while, that all was right in her world.