the feeling of rejection.

[spinelli316]

i applied for SUNY and was able to send in my application a few weeks ago. they got back to me right away with a reply. they said no. i was rejected before i even finished sending in the rest of my things, the rest of my recommendation letters, and i hadn't even taken the OAT yet

Comments

[dily_dally]

i totally understand how you feel. i know i didn't study anything medical, but when i graduated from hs i "wanted" to major in engineering- biomedical engineering. I based this on all the great grades i got in hs on math and science. i got to RPI, and hated it in the first week. i didn't love math or science. those grades i did them for my dad, for my family. i re-evaluated everything and thought about what i did enjoy, and i thought about yearbook. i was co-editor, but the way things were going i pulled all the weight and i felt proud when it came out looking great. so then i decided to transfer and got into the best art school. and now, i don't want to do graphic design full time. after sophomore yr at SVA (art school) i was a counselor working with 3-4 yr old kids, and i loved it. the following summer they made me head counselor of one of the nursery groups. i look back now and realize thats where i belong, working with kids, helping them, and teaching them.

what do i say to my dad, my mom, and the rest of my family when they find out i changed my mind? i told my brother and he understands me. he's like "you really are good with kids." my boyfriend says, "you're good in graphic design, you just don't have the confidence, but with kids it comes natural." some would say i need to give graphic design more of a chance, but my biggest fear is with design i continually have to prove i am good from "project" to "project". its a struggle for me. instead of letting these fears go and loving design and doing it, i am starting to hate it. Growing up under my dad has been the hardest thing ever. I care tooo much what people think and i have been striving for his approval. i don't want to fail him. even tho they supported me thru art school, i made sure to go to the BEST art school so at least they know i am not doing this blindly. But now things have changed, and i don't know what to do either, except what i do know is i have to move out soon. i can't live at home. the pressure is still there.

idk if i helped u at all, but i am here if you need to talk even tho its the web. DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! And if being an optometrist makes u happy, then u keep applying to schools. Don't give up. I am always afraid of being rejected, especially by my family, and being filipino, the eldest daughter, and first generation there is so much pressure, sometimes i wish i wasn't. its sad to say i know, but i feel like that, and i am trying to work through it. i thought i was ok, but i am not, his voice, and the paranoia of my family talking about me behind my back scares the hell out of me.

so, i understand. sorry if this was so long.

wow

[spinelli316]

that just made me feel a whole lot better. i didn't get much of a response from anyone else i told, well i only told one other person, but he didn't give me any encouraging words to live by. made me feel kinda alone. but since i read your comment, i know that i can work at this and still strive to do the best. i have other options... i just don't know now if optometry is truly the thing i want to do. maybe being a doctor was all for them and not even for me. i need to re-evaluate myself. thank you for those words... and it's funny, cuz we both go through the same exact things even though it seems we're worlds apart. thanks again kit kat!

Re: wow

[dily_dally]

I am so glad I helped. It's hard differentiating what YOU want what they want. I just wanted so bad to succeed, and thought yeah I am interested in engineering, how things work, but ultimately I realize now I am more interested in connecting with people, especially kids. I have to figure out how I am going to do this, but at least now I can tell what I want.

Thank god for the internet! I am so glad I found you. Lots of people that I have talked to about this understand, but it helps even more that YOU really know what it feels like. My brother even feels the pressure now, he's a senior in hs, and I am doing my best to share my experience with him. So, he doesn't feel alone. He's thinking about law, when his college essay was about his love of music. But I tell him "Remember it's up to you. YOU have to be happy first. He has to make the decision, and if its a mistake he'll learn, which is the best way to learn. Growing up I felt like i couldn't make a mistake. Like walking on eggshells. I don't want to do that anymore, I am catching myself doing it again. Working for this place now looks good on paper, but I am not happy.

Anyway, even though we are world's apart, I understand and I am hear to listen.

Love, Kit Kat