No Reason
Can't really explain the emotions that are going through me right now...I just feel them. And they are driving me crazy.
All day I have been trying to figure out why my life i the way it is. I want to pinpoint the exact moment in my life where everything went wrong. I know no ones' life is perfect, and I know that I am better off than a lot of people in this world, but I can't help but think that my life sucks.
Everyday it's the same routine: get up, eat, shower, go to work, come home, watch tv, and then go to bed. And the sad thing is everything happens at the same time everyday.
Now I'm thinking about quitting my job. For the past year I have been employed at Wal-Mart. I started out as a cashier, but switched over to the pharmacy at the beginng of March. At first it was great. I didn't have people breathing down my neck, no one talked down to me, it was a great atmosphere...still is. But now it's become montonous and I hate it. I know that it has something to do with the fact that it's now what I want to do. I really do not like going in there everyday and I don't know how long I can keep up this charade.
Another thing that is bothering me (this is quite pathetic and stupid...but bear with me...)about a couple of months ago I met this girl. I have this chat group thing on my phone and she found my profile and sent me a message. The instant we started talking we hit it off. i'm telling her all sorts of stuff about myself that no one knows and she is doing the same. Our first conversation lasted about 4 hour. I knew in the middle of the conversation that she was someone that I wanted to keep in contact with. Our relationhip was pretty good, and although we never met face to face we had made a very strong connection. She would always say the sweetest things to me and tell me how much I mean to her. She even told me that she would like to have a relationship with me, but I was too young. (I'm 19 ahe's 24) About two weeks ago she met another girl that she is just crazy about, and ever since then it's like I don't exist. We used to talk on the phone everyday like 4 time and now I get maybe 2.
I know we are not together and she is her own peron and can do what she wants, but I can't help but to feel as though I have been hurt. I have never in my life had anyone say the things she has said to me. And until she came along I thought no one ever would. I have no idea what to do. When we do talk the whole conversation is about the other girl. She's my friend ( and she considers me to be her best friend) and I want her to be happy, but I would like some happiness of my own.
This is what I want: for happiness to outweigh the sadness. Later Dayz!
Dominique
All day I have been trying to figure out why my life i the way it is. I want to pinpoint the exact moment in my life where everything went wrong. I know no ones' life is perfect, and I know that I am better off than a lot of people in this world, but I can't help but think that my life sucks.
Everyday it's the same routine: get up, eat, shower, go to work, come home, watch tv, and then go to bed. And the sad thing is everything happens at the same time everyday.
Now I'm thinking about quitting my job. For the past year I have been employed at Wal-Mart. I started out as a cashier, but switched over to the pharmacy at the beginng of March. At first it was great. I didn't have people breathing down my neck, no one talked down to me, it was a great atmosphere...still is. But now it's become montonous and I hate it. I know that it has something to do with the fact that it's now what I want to do. I really do not like going in there everyday and I don't know how long I can keep up this charade.
Another thing that is bothering me (this is quite pathetic and stupid...but bear with me...)about a couple of months ago I met this girl. I have this chat group thing on my phone and she found my profile and sent me a message. The instant we started talking we hit it off. i'm telling her all sorts of stuff about myself that no one knows and she is doing the same. Our first conversation lasted about 4 hour. I knew in the middle of the conversation that she was someone that I wanted to keep in contact with. Our relationhip was pretty good, and although we never met face to face we had made a very strong connection. She would always say the sweetest things to me and tell me how much I mean to her. She even told me that she would like to have a relationship with me, but I was too young. (I'm 19 ahe's 24) About two weeks ago she met another girl that she is just crazy about, and ever since then it's like I don't exist. We used to talk on the phone everyday like 4 time and now I get maybe 2.
I know we are not together and she is her own peron and can do what she wants, but I can't help but to feel as though I have been hurt. I have never in my life had anyone say the things she has said to me. And until she came along I thought no one ever would. I have no idea what to do. When we do talk the whole conversation is about the other girl. She's my friend ( and she considers me to be her best friend) and I want her to be happy, but I would like some happiness of my own.
This is what I want: for happiness to outweigh the sadness. Later Dayz!
Dominique