Good Day
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Hyukjae thinks about visuals, about Donghae in the dark. He's never forced Donghae to stay.
Word count: 1247
A/N: I've really wanted to write HyukHae for a bit now, but I couldn't find the time or inspiration until today. I wish i had enough space in my userpics for an icon of these boys again, they're too cute ;___; alas, I do not have a paid account! Please note that this fic was written with an AU I created in mind, a supernatural sort of setting, where Hyukjae is this creature that's like a vampire but isn't really a vampire, and Donghae is a human. I haven't really done much with this AU, but there's a beginning of a SiChul piece that belongs with it floating around somewhere in my google docs!
Good Day
There are these kinds of moments that Hyukjae can only remember by visuals. They’re the ones where the red comes seeping out, everything is silent, and most everything is in black and white except those lines of blood. The chunk of flesh gone, the screen that bursts through his or her eyes, Hyukjae remembers those only by the way they look and how they would sound in his mind if he only listened to them. But he never hears real screams anymore. They’re all the silent ones, the ones in his head.
And he hopes that they’ll stay that way.
He’s never dreamed of hurting Donghae, not the way he’s hurt others. There was this girl named Hyoyeon, he loved her, he destroyed her. He can’t love Donghae, he can’t destroy him. They tell him it was an accident, that it was bound to happen when she was so fragile, so human, so weak in comparison. It was bound to happen. It was bound to happen, that she would be the last scream he ever heard.
Others can try to hurt Donghae-he’s seen the way Siwon looks at him, he’s hungry, Siwon is stronger than Hyukjae, he can win. Hyukjae keeps an eye on that one the most. But Siwon has Heechul to keep him in check. Heechul’s fond of Donghae.
But sometimes Hyukjae sees Donghae as if the man were a ghost, floating around the room without a true destination. And it’s true that Donghae’s lost a real place to go home to, and who would want to keep living with a hoard of dark creatures like Hyukjae for the rest of his years.
Yet every afternoon when Hyukjae lies down to rest, to regain his strength from trying to stay awake for his day-dweller’s sake, Donghae lies down at his side. Hyukjae’s gotten used to leaving an extra space to his left. Donghae likes the left side.
Donghae looks thinner.
“Are you hungry?” Hyukjae asks, and it’s already 10am, he’s tired. The word ‘hungry’ is too tempting, and he hopes Donghae won’t answer after all. He’ll just give him food as a default.
“Not really.”
The dark circles underneath his eyes are darker than they used to be, from trying to stay up late to be with each other. Or maybe to make sure he doesn’t get killed. Or for both reasons.
“You should eat something.”
“No, I’m okay.”
“You don’t trust me.”
Donghae shakes his head. No. “That's not it.” Donghae thinks of cotton candy and ice cream for some reason, and he wants to go home.
What home? This is home-Hyukjae is his home now, one that breathes and sort of lives and when Hyukjae goes somewhere, Donghae will follow. He is the safest and most dangerous place at the same time.
Hyukjae brings out the box of Lucky Charms he bought last week and extends it over to the thinning body stretched out on his (their) couch. Donghae takes it without another word and reopens it. All Hyukjae hears is the sound of crunching, and he can’t help but notice how it sounds like bones when he closes his eyes, takes the visuals away.
He waits until Donghae’s done crunching on marshmallows and what sounds like a victim, he waits and doesn't move a muscle. Just in case the wrong move could cost an actual life, and Hyukjae’s afraid he would've been seconds close to it. The box hits the table with a dull thud and Donghae sighs, rubbing his hands over his tired face. Hyukjae sits down at his side. He smells the sweetness, he sees the little bits of crumbs on Donghae's lips, so he kisses them away.
It’s an eerie sort of love, everyone he can think of is a prime example. Hyukjae almost doesn’t want to think about it. It’s all sick, and he throws himself right into the bunch, pulling Donghae along by the throat. Hyukjae accepts and denies what it is, because if it’s love, someone is going to end up dead. Someone that isn’t himself.
Donghae accepts and denies that he could feel this way. The truth takes over in the moments they lie in bed, naked or clothed, and Donghae sees Hyukjae’s beloved face in the dark, a luring temptation that he could never even dream of saying no to. It makes more sense that they spend their nights this way, thinking about how they could never part forever. Maybe not at all. They might as well just stay this way, be stuck like this until one of them dies, or they both die. No matter how terrifying it may be.
Hyukjae thinks about the visuals, about Donghae in the dark. But it’s not too dark to see him, of course, it’s never too dark, not unless Hyukjae closes his eyes. Donghae in the dark is the most beautiful, when the shadows stretch over his skin and the few patches of light seem to make his skin glow. An arm is like a second crescent moon sometimes, when he lays over the sheets just right, when Hyukjae looks at him just right.
Those eyes are what keeps him pinned at the side, though. Dark obs that gleam at him and say I love you and a I’m terrified at the same time and sometimes a Let me go comes though. Hyukjae is the terrified one at those moments. And he feels wronged, instantly. Because he’s never forced Donghae to stay.
Whenever he wants to, Donghae can leave. Whenever. In the day when Hyukjae sleeps, never in the night with a coat of darkness to hide him. Hyukjae would see.
Donghae holds the phone in his hands, his shaking hands. And he thinks about calling his brother. Outside the window is where the street flashes by, and Hyukjae is at the steering wheel. They’re not sure where they’re going, but the sun is out and Hyukjae looks like he’s ready to sleep. Right at the wheel, but at the same time, that determined look is on his face. He’s steadfast and not about to give in to the tired urges. Donghae smiles a little, and the light glints off of his teeth just right. Just enough to make Hyukjae’s heart jump.
The supermarket is busy, filled with people, and Hyukjae fits sunglasses over his eyes right before Donghae nudges him slightly. He sees it as an alternative to squeezing his hand in public. They’re not used to it yet, who knows when they will be? But Hyukjae doesn’t mind. He holds onto Donghae’s hand when they scan through the ice cream types, they seem to lock together when Hyukjae picks a container of cotton candy. They unlock when they check out. They lock again when the door to the apartment closes, when they’re alone again.
Donghae eats a few scoops of ice cream before he changes into pajamas and leaves the pint of to Hyukjae. And Hyukjae hasn’t ever known much beyond human flesh and blood on his tongue, except the occasional vegetable or experimental chocolate, or strawberry. He eats half of what’s left and Donghae kisses him when he comes back, tastes the desert on Hyukjae’s tongue.
For once, they don’t think about destruction. Donghae calls his brother before Hyukjae’s eyes beckon him to bed. He curls his arms around Hyukjae, he’s hardly tired. The dark circles are lighter and Hyukjae lands his lips against the lids above them.
It’s been a good day.
//…
This kind of felt like a writing exercise for myself, and I'm kind of partial to it. Hope you liked it :)
Somehow, this went from being sort of angsty (at least in my mind) to relatively almost happy. Haha, Idk.
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Hyukjae thinks about visuals, about Donghae in the dark. He's never forced Donghae to stay.
Word count: 1247
A/N: I've really wanted to write HyukHae for a bit now, but I couldn't find the time or inspiration until today. I wish i had enough space in my userpics for an icon of these boys again, they're too cute ;___; alas, I do not have a paid account! Please note that this fic was written with an AU I created in mind, a supernatural sort of setting, where Hyukjae is this creature that's like a vampire but isn't really a vampire, and Donghae is a human. I haven't really done much with this AU, but there's a beginning of a SiChul piece that belongs with it floating around somewhere in my google docs!
Good Day
There are these kinds of moments that Hyukjae can only remember by visuals. They’re the ones where the red comes seeping out, everything is silent, and most everything is in black and white except those lines of blood. The chunk of flesh gone, the screen that bursts through his or her eyes, Hyukjae remembers those only by the way they look and how they would sound in his mind if he only listened to them. But he never hears real screams anymore. They’re all the silent ones, the ones in his head.
And he hopes that they’ll stay that way.
He’s never dreamed of hurting Donghae, not the way he’s hurt others. There was this girl named Hyoyeon, he loved her, he destroyed her. He can’t love Donghae, he can’t destroy him. They tell him it was an accident, that it was bound to happen when she was so fragile, so human, so weak in comparison. It was bound to happen. It was bound to happen, that she would be the last scream he ever heard.
Others can try to hurt Donghae-he’s seen the way Siwon looks at him, he’s hungry, Siwon is stronger than Hyukjae, he can win. Hyukjae keeps an eye on that one the most. But Siwon has Heechul to keep him in check. Heechul’s fond of Donghae.
But sometimes Hyukjae sees Donghae as if the man were a ghost, floating around the room without a true destination. And it’s true that Donghae’s lost a real place to go home to, and who would want to keep living with a hoard of dark creatures like Hyukjae for the rest of his years.
Yet every afternoon when Hyukjae lies down to rest, to regain his strength from trying to stay awake for his day-dweller’s sake, Donghae lies down at his side. Hyukjae’s gotten used to leaving an extra space to his left. Donghae likes the left side.
Donghae looks thinner.
“Are you hungry?” Hyukjae asks, and it’s already 10am, he’s tired. The word ‘hungry’ is too tempting, and he hopes Donghae won’t answer after all. He’ll just give him food as a default.
“Not really.”
The dark circles underneath his eyes are darker than they used to be, from trying to stay up late to be with each other. Or maybe to make sure he doesn’t get killed. Or for both reasons.
“You should eat something.”
“No, I’m okay.”
“You don’t trust me.”
Donghae shakes his head. No. “That's not it.” Donghae thinks of cotton candy and ice cream for some reason, and he wants to go home.
What home? This is home-Hyukjae is his home now, one that breathes and sort of lives and when Hyukjae goes somewhere, Donghae will follow. He is the safest and most dangerous place at the same time.
Hyukjae brings out the box of Lucky Charms he bought last week and extends it over to the thinning body stretched out on his (their) couch. Donghae takes it without another word and reopens it. All Hyukjae hears is the sound of crunching, and he can’t help but notice how it sounds like bones when he closes his eyes, takes the visuals away.
He waits until Donghae’s done crunching on marshmallows and what sounds like a victim, he waits and doesn't move a muscle. Just in case the wrong move could cost an actual life, and Hyukjae’s afraid he would've been seconds close to it. The box hits the table with a dull thud and Donghae sighs, rubbing his hands over his tired face. Hyukjae sits down at his side. He smells the sweetness, he sees the little bits of crumbs on Donghae's lips, so he kisses them away.
It’s an eerie sort of love, everyone he can think of is a prime example. Hyukjae almost doesn’t want to think about it. It’s all sick, and he throws himself right into the bunch, pulling Donghae along by the throat. Hyukjae accepts and denies what it is, because if it’s love, someone is going to end up dead. Someone that isn’t himself.
Donghae accepts and denies that he could feel this way. The truth takes over in the moments they lie in bed, naked or clothed, and Donghae sees Hyukjae’s beloved face in the dark, a luring temptation that he could never even dream of saying no to. It makes more sense that they spend their nights this way, thinking about how they could never part forever. Maybe not at all. They might as well just stay this way, be stuck like this until one of them dies, or they both die. No matter how terrifying it may be.
Hyukjae thinks about the visuals, about Donghae in the dark. But it’s not too dark to see him, of course, it’s never too dark, not unless Hyukjae closes his eyes. Donghae in the dark is the most beautiful, when the shadows stretch over his skin and the few patches of light seem to make his skin glow. An arm is like a second crescent moon sometimes, when he lays over the sheets just right, when Hyukjae looks at him just right.
Those eyes are what keeps him pinned at the side, though. Dark obs that gleam at him and say I love you and a I’m terrified at the same time and sometimes a Let me go comes though. Hyukjae is the terrified one at those moments. And he feels wronged, instantly. Because he’s never forced Donghae to stay.
Whenever he wants to, Donghae can leave. Whenever. In the day when Hyukjae sleeps, never in the night with a coat of darkness to hide him. Hyukjae would see.
Donghae holds the phone in his hands, his shaking hands. And he thinks about calling his brother. Outside the window is where the street flashes by, and Hyukjae is at the steering wheel. They’re not sure where they’re going, but the sun is out and Hyukjae looks like he’s ready to sleep. Right at the wheel, but at the same time, that determined look is on his face. He’s steadfast and not about to give in to the tired urges. Donghae smiles a little, and the light glints off of his teeth just right. Just enough to make Hyukjae’s heart jump.
The supermarket is busy, filled with people, and Hyukjae fits sunglasses over his eyes right before Donghae nudges him slightly. He sees it as an alternative to squeezing his hand in public. They’re not used to it yet, who knows when they will be? But Hyukjae doesn’t mind. He holds onto Donghae’s hand when they scan through the ice cream types, they seem to lock together when Hyukjae picks a container of cotton candy. They unlock when they check out. They lock again when the door to the apartment closes, when they’re alone again.
Donghae eats a few scoops of ice cream before he changes into pajamas and leaves the pint of to Hyukjae. And Hyukjae hasn’t ever known much beyond human flesh and blood on his tongue, except the occasional vegetable or experimental chocolate, or strawberry. He eats half of what’s left and Donghae kisses him when he comes back, tastes the desert on Hyukjae’s tongue.
For once, they don’t think about destruction. Donghae calls his brother before Hyukjae’s eyes beckon him to bed. He curls his arms around Hyukjae, he’s hardly tired. The dark circles are lighter and Hyukjae lands his lips against the lids above them.
It’s been a good day.
//…
This kind of felt like a writing exercise for myself, and I'm kind of partial to it. Hope you liked it :)
Somehow, this went from being sort of angsty (at least in my mind) to relatively almost happy. Haha, Idk.