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[spill_the_dark]

i start feeling as if i've lost alot and have nothing more to gain sometimes. i also start to feel that typing into this glass screen filled with microchips and such is actually making anything better. I start to think about the past and how i wish i had the story book childhood we all watch on t.v...because it just seems better, doesn't it? i

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Hi

[flamen_mind]

I have to ask, because I've done this myself and asked myself why I do this day after day, why do I need to mold myself to the image of everyone else? Why do I have to make these changes, so I can be noticed? It's never about being recognized is it? Because being recognized means they actually see what you're about. If you have to strive so hard for acceptance, maybe it just isn't worth your sweat, because no matter what even if they do finally see you after all those surgical transitions of replacing a part of you, the part you truely are that makes you YOU, is replaced for something that fitting for someone else...You'll be lost behind maskes. You'll be so lost that you can't even remember who you are anymore or try to keep your nails buried so deep in to their opinions that you'll bleed, and then where would that leave you? Don't think that'll take any skin of their back, because if they truly cared, they would see that great person you are. I tried to do that for you...I felt all those thing you listed, still do sometimes, but from others whom I tried to be perfect for, that's why I needed to get away, why I've been trying to figure out exactly who am I for so long.

There's no easier way to get through this than just learning to let go of the part of you that feels that you have to impress everyone all the time..you're actually way more impressive when your just being you. Alot more people see you than you allow yourself to notice sometimes. Sry, i know this is long...plus, i'm so bad with words.

....From someone who see's you....