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Jul 30, 2005 11:54

Having seen the actual EW article now, my last post was misleading:

(there are pictures of the actors) and I don't have a scanner and if I did I wouldn't know how to use it. I transcribed it. The stakes are meaningless, James always gets great reviews although I might disagree that he's at his best when he's "nepharious", although granted he's very great at that. SG is Seth Green..



Six reasons to Slay tuned (Pictures of Ally, James, David, Charisma, Nick and Seth)

Last season, the former stars of Melrose place fought the FAA (Heather locklear) a deranged pharmicist (Marcia Cross) and a disturbing lack of screen time (Doug savant) to attempt comebacks, this fall it's the Buffy alums who are trying to resurrect their careers. Below we rate how closely their new roles resemble their characters who lived on the hellmouth:

ALLYSON HANNIGAN:

BUFFY ROLE: Willow evolved from Poorly dressed geek to slightly better dressed saphic Wiccan by the show's end.

NEW ROLE: "How I Met Your Mother's" Lily evolves from poorly dressed singleton to poorly dressed betrothed by pilot's end.

BUFFY LIKENESS: ONE STAKE: More "American Pie" than Willow, Lily chastises her fiance for not smacking her ass enough times.

JAMES MARSTERS:

BUFFY ROLE: As Buffy's foe-friend, Spike sacrifices himself to help save the world from a legion of vampires.

NEW ROLE: As Villain college professor "Braniac", Marsters sacrifices his blonde locks to help SMALLVILLE out in it's new time slot.

BUFFY LIKENESS (Four Stakes) Marsters is at his best when he's nefarious, but we gotta remove a stake for losing the oddly appealing dye job.

DAVID BOREANAZ

BUFFY ROLE: After vampire Angel and Buffy did the nasty, he lost his soul, got mean and fangy and landed his own spin off.

NEW ROLE: Seely Boothe the wise ass FBI Agent on FOX's BONE, doesn't have fangs, or enough charisma to hold his own spin off.

BUFFY LIKENESS: (Two stakes) A stoic hero in dark clothing? Sounds familar, but Boreanaz needs to take a bigger bite out of the role.

CHARISMA CARPENTER:

BUFFY ROLE: Sunnydale high school snob and half princess Cordelia Chase dated older watcher, Wesley.

NEW ROLE: "Veronica Mars" Slob-and-a-half trophy wife Kendall Casablancas marries some old dude who we presume gives her a watch.

BUFFY LIKENESS: (Five stakes) Are we time traveling? Cordy has grown up, married well and is tormenting a whole new gang.

NICHOLAS BRENDON:

BUFFY ROLE: Dorky but loveable Xander Harris was overshadowed by the more powerful members of the Scoobie gang.

NEW ROLE: Neurotic but likeable Chef Seth on "Kitchen Confidential" is overshadowed by a more powerful Chef and an unfortunate bandanna.

BUFFY LIKENESS (Four STakes) Seth is Xanderlike in his lack of self confidence but not so much in his choice of accessories.

SETH GREEN:

BUFFY ROLE: Vertically challenged werewolf and Willow lover Oz left town because he couldn't contain his inner beast.

NEW ROLE: Vertically challenged "Four Kings" lady lover Barry leaves Queens because he can't pass up a swank Manhattan Co-op.

BUFFLY LIKENESS (Three stakes) Barry has less body hair/more clothing which is good/bad depending on your affection for Seth Green.

reviews, article

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