Arooooooo /howls at the moon
Casual feels while sleepy, feel free to skip.
As of right now, I'm the only single homie in my group. It's been this way for years now. Normally it wouldn't phase me, but I feel this horrible sort of awareness of it lately. I want to have an excuse to snuggle and believe someone cares about me. It's derpy, but come on, the whole concept is derpy. Don't judge. xD it sucks so hard thinking that no one sees me that way. I know I like to strike the gender neutral a lot, but it'd be nice if I didn't feel so outside the game. I think this feeling has been made worse in part by being told I'm dancing wrong if I'm not 'being sexy', which in itself is ridiculous. That's not how I act, and putting it on grosses me out.
I think I'm just ranting now, but there's ist this unbarable heaviness of not being a person that's very evident to me right now. I have no skills of note, my sexuality fluctuates so hard I doubt I'll ever be able to lassoing it into a place where I can function, my health continues to fail, and I continue to not believe that people actually do care. I know by logic that they do, but nothing in me feels it. It's concerning. Cuddles would probably help. Maybe. xD ah.
I think what I'm trying to say is I'm getting tired of being less. Upset is only a hat a can wear so many times after trying and failing before I start wondering if I'm really as broken as I used to believe I was.
As of right now, I'm the only single homie in my group. It's been this way for years now. Normally it wouldn't phase me, but I feel this horrible sort of awareness of it lately. I want to have an excuse to snuggle and believe someone cares about me. It's derpy, but come on, the whole concept is derpy. Don't judge. xD it sucks so hard thinking that no one sees me that way. I know I like to strike the gender neutral a lot, but it'd be nice if I didn't feel so outside the game. I think this feeling has been made worse in part by being told I'm dancing wrong if I'm not 'being sexy', which in itself is ridiculous. That's not how I act, and putting it on grosses me out.
I think I'm just ranting now, but there's ist this unbarable heaviness of not being a person that's very evident to me right now. I have no skills of note, my sexuality fluctuates so hard I doubt I'll ever be able to lassoing it into a place where I can function, my health continues to fail, and I continue to not believe that people actually do care. I know by logic that they do, but nothing in me feels it. It's concerning. Cuddles would probably help. Maybe. xD ah.
I think what I'm trying to say is I'm getting tired of being less. Upset is only a hat a can wear so many times after trying and failing before I start wondering if I'm really as broken as I used to believe I was.