(no subject)
So about... an hour and a half ago, I had a breakdown.
At my friend's bday party.
I freaked out because there were people there doing shit I don't agree with. I went outside and had a talk with Nichole. It got heated. She went inside, and her best friend came outside. Linds talked to me about the situation and just really talked some sense into my head, and really comforted me. Like, everyone has been telling me that I can do better and it's something I know to be true, but it never really sunk in until Nichole's best friend sat there and said it to me.
After that, I laid outside to clear my head and have a good cry.. Nichole came outside and we talked some more. And alot was cleared in the air.
And the thing is, we're always going to be really good friends. We're going to be those people who can go a year without contact, and then one calls the other and it's like no time has passed. It is hard for us to be around each other and not act on the feelings and attraction that both of us know is there. It's hard...
Maybe someday. Maybe someday I'll figure out this fucking thing that is dating girls... Maybe someday I'll figure out why with some people, I can so easily toss them aside.. and then with the ones that seem to end up hurting me most.. I just cannot get over...
I'll always be her girl though, according to her.
Man, this semester just needs to end. This whole year needs to be over. I want nothing more than for spring break, then summer to come. I've had my most extreme highs and extreme lows in this one fucking semester... and it really is just wearing me out.
At my friend's bday party.
I freaked out because there were people there doing shit I don't agree with. I went outside and had a talk with Nichole. It got heated. She went inside, and her best friend came outside. Linds talked to me about the situation and just really talked some sense into my head, and really comforted me. Like, everyone has been telling me that I can do better and it's something I know to be true, but it never really sunk in until Nichole's best friend sat there and said it to me.
After that, I laid outside to clear my head and have a good cry.. Nichole came outside and we talked some more. And alot was cleared in the air.
And the thing is, we're always going to be really good friends. We're going to be those people who can go a year without contact, and then one calls the other and it's like no time has passed. It is hard for us to be around each other and not act on the feelings and attraction that both of us know is there. It's hard...
Maybe someday. Maybe someday I'll figure out this fucking thing that is dating girls... Maybe someday I'll figure out why with some people, I can so easily toss them aside.. and then with the ones that seem to end up hurting me most.. I just cannot get over...
I'll always be her girl though, according to her.
Man, this semester just needs to end. This whole year needs to be over. I want nothing more than for spring break, then summer to come. I've had my most extreme highs and extreme lows in this one fucking semester... and it really is just wearing me out.