(no subject)
Ten and a half hours until we're in court to make the adoption final.
Kody Isaac, Kyleigh Athena, and Keandre Chaska.
It's very difficult to describe how I feel.
It's been almost three years since they first came.
It's been Hell, not gonna lie.
Just as everything was settling back down in my life, we were thrown into utter chaos.
And now, it's all culminating in adoption. Very final.
I love them, don't get me wrong.
But this is why I am torn... This is my confession.
I do feel as though I've been replaced. And I have been in many ways.
I know my mom loves me all the same, but I am no longer the baby.
She no longer has the time to participate in my life as she did.
And I miss it. Funny how you don't know what you got until it's gone.
And true, she is not GONE per se... but she just hasn't the time to share in my life like she used to. And that is why I'm torn. Because in a sense, I've had my mom stolen from me.
But I know that these kids need her more than anything.
And yeah, I probably do sound selfish.. but then again, most of you do not know the whole story, as it dates back many years. Probably about 6-7.
I am happy that the kids are out of the home they were in. They've made so much progress since they moved in with my mom. And it makes me so happy to look at the kids and know that they have a shot at a decent life.
And I'm sad too. It can't be helped. I am sorry.
But after all the musing I've done over this, I've come to this conclusion.
The reason why I'm so torn..
I just wish that I was number one in someone's life.
Kody Isaac, Kyleigh Athena, and Keandre Chaska.
It's very difficult to describe how I feel.
It's been almost three years since they first came.
It's been Hell, not gonna lie.
Just as everything was settling back down in my life, we were thrown into utter chaos.
And now, it's all culminating in adoption. Very final.
I love them, don't get me wrong.
But this is why I am torn... This is my confession.
I do feel as though I've been replaced. And I have been in many ways.
I know my mom loves me all the same, but I am no longer the baby.
She no longer has the time to participate in my life as she did.
And I miss it. Funny how you don't know what you got until it's gone.
And true, she is not GONE per se... but she just hasn't the time to share in my life like she used to. And that is why I'm torn. Because in a sense, I've had my mom stolen from me.
But I know that these kids need her more than anything.
And yeah, I probably do sound selfish.. but then again, most of you do not know the whole story, as it dates back many years. Probably about 6-7.
I am happy that the kids are out of the home they were in. They've made so much progress since they moved in with my mom. And it makes me so happy to look at the kids and know that they have a shot at a decent life.
And I'm sad too. It can't be helped. I am sorry.
But after all the musing I've done over this, I've come to this conclusion.
The reason why I'm so torn..
I just wish that I was number one in someone's life.