Jul 27, 2005 12:04
Laughing, I was splashing and grinning. Getting tumbled in the surf, abraded by heavy sand, losing my sunglasses, and spitting/swallowing warm ocean water was much better than I had anticipated.
A mostly men's circuit party was the last place I'd thought I belonged, not the ideal shape or fashion for dykes these days, the gay boys weren't even as welcoming here as they were back home. At the white parties it's really all about looks and freedom. So I'm proud of myself for coming, for seeking an experience I didn't think I 'fit'. More than that, though I'm utterly shocked to be having a good time.
Not that the dancing, drugging, drinking, and fucking is more my thing than I imagined, I think I worked all of that out of ny system by eighteen. So now at 27, fearful to come a full decade as jaded as before, I tried it again. So here I am, playing like a kid on a Hawaiian beach with two smiling babydykes, enjoying the innocent fun and the less innocent undertones. I was starting to feel free of the old